Roll Call 91!

Oh right, duh think I have an imgur account already

I experienced more emotions while on Geodon while not lamictal previously. It was only after adding mood altering meds like SSRI's, SNRI's and lithium and lamictal that my emotions become flat... until now. If it is a negative symptom then they are gone. I could try abilify but that's about all I'd ever try to get them back again.

I'm thinking maybe it is epigenetic. The expression of my genes now have been propped up by scaffolding and its been so long while on these meds that I no longer need the scaffolding to stand erect anymore. This is mind explosive if this is the case.

Thanks newtus
It took about five months
I started my application in February

Thanks Willow
I am definitely relieved I feel like now I can actually pay rent like a normal person and I can pay off my doctor's bills and such
I do understand that feeling of the word "disabled" it does feel weird

Im eating steak. Its sooo damn good.

For me my negative symptoms aren't nearly as bad as they were especially after starting the Invega and Zyprexa the first few days I was hanging around people and had no anxiety because the psychosis started to go away but now there's no psychosis and my negative symptoms are back to how they were on Abilify. Without any antipsychotics, the negative symptoms were pretty damn bad.

I did start Wellbutrin today but it didn't do anything. Maybe it takes a while to build up in my system idk. I felt so tired today and was laying down on the bench in public and a guy was like "That guy is sleeping!".

I hope my outpatient psychiatrist prescribes the Concerta back on Monday. It works really really well for me. 54mg in the morning and 27mg at noon is what he was going to put me on but the psychiatrist here thought that it would give me psychosis but Concerta doesn't give me psychosis especially on these heavy duty antipsychotic doses that I'm on.

It's a real struggle with this they always hang a medication above my head and have been doing this for years probably so I can stay sick idk but I can't think that way because it's not true. Idk

I had a dream that I couldn't leave the hospital and they were all electrocuting me because I knew the truth about the "Brain washing". I've had a few dreams where I was completely psychotic here..

I'm just exhausted from being here and don't care if I gain weight at this point if they keep me longer cuz what's the point this place sucks more than I thought it would although I did get a lot of education and experience in life skills out of it.

Tinypic. Com

Yeah unfortunately tinypic is owned by photobucket.....I think I'm going with imgur....thanks though

Oh....... Lol

Now im eating a huge pretzel and about to smash a microwave dinner

I'm eating Fritos and cream cheese.

Anyone up?

I dont care to be alive right now

It's a gorgeous sunny day here today and I'm off out with my parents

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

*Willow*

I hate hearing that.

I took a bit of a nap. Ive been up since 130am.

I think i was a bit psychotic then. I posted something on facebook all jumbled.

Morning everyone. Hope you are all having a good day. Things are good here. No symptoms .
Nothing really planned for the day. It's take out night!
What's everyone up to today?

I think im gonna goto Five Below today. Its a store that sells things 5 dollars and below. They have clothes, electronics, japanese candy etc. a lot of stuff. Im gonna get a phone case and maybe some pocky or something.

Then maybe best buy to look at phones again.

My daughter was just talking about five below. I had never heard of it before.
I love pocky.

What is pocky?

Gasp! You are missing out they are breadstick shaped Japanese cookies coated in different chocolate flavors....yum!

Oh I think I might have seen something like that in shops. I'll add it to my list of things to try!

I like pocky with bubble tea

The only problem with Pocky is they are too thin!

Was walking home today and I had a bit of an epiphany. I had walked up to the farmers market and at the entrance I signed a petition to help clean up the Great Lakes. I was thinking about what kind of people stand out in the hot sun collecting signature for something they care about...passionate people....people who believe they can still make a difference. I'm not sure when I lost it but I used to be passionate and believed I could make A difference with my science to cure disease or in some other way. I need to get that back, I think it's what is holding me back, a lack of inspiration brought on by a lack of belief in Abilify to change the world and a lack of passion.

You could start your own plus size pocky line