Roll call 94?

I know. Not trying to discredit her by saying this, but shes like 67 yrs old. Yesterday she told me to goto a clubhouse for people with mental illness. I told the younger pss today what this other pss said and she laughed. She said i dont need a daycare setting i just need more friends and perhaps a job and some other positive stuff to fill in the gaps where im alone so much.

I hate this clinic all in all. Too many conflicting opinions and no one talks to each other. So much for a treatment team.

My brain has been avoiding it but im starting to realize how afraid i am i will be rejected as an organ donor. If that happens i fear my reaction. The first intake appointment for my wife is Thurs, but i don't know about time table for me. I have a Dr. appt on Tues but now its occurring to me maybe i better just renew my sleep meds and keep my mouth shut otherwise.
That way everything i can't erase stays in remission, at least.

I'm sorry you are upset.

No kidding. When I saw a therapist and psych at the same place they talked. It made things easier. If I was having a problem with a med and didn't have an appt for a while she'd march right downstairs and tell her so if could be seen sooner.

About the smallest amount of communication they do here is email each other and/or write progress notes and leave it in my file. But no one ever reads them? Thats why i know i can tell my pss i havent been taking my meds but the doctor never reads it. Neither does the therapist.

The only good thing is. If i need an earlier pdoc appt, my T can usually go in the pdocs schedule and change things around. But wasnt able to do that this time

i am scared and iam sad

someone told me about a movie called Okja
but i googled it

Hold on Kori. You are safe.

I keep making up these dates when I will supposedly be attacked. I dont know by whom or why. But Im probably safe too.

I'm sorry you are scared and sad.

I really shouldn't drink it makes me miserable and want to self harm. I ****ing hate it why do I do this **** to myself I should stop.

No maybe about it. I just should stop in general but it's so hard ****ing hell.

Their mouths are moving slower than their words. I don't know if this is because of alcohol or psychosis.

I don't think I have schizophrenia. Maybe psychotic depression or delusion disorder idk.

shut up, voices

i am so sleepy
But the voices are keeping me awake

i even took an extra trazodone and still no sleep

i guess no one is awake in roll call tonight

I woke up for awhile. You ok?

i am trying to be ok
how are you newtus?

Im ok. Just having some water and vaping.

Sorry for my ranting. I feel better now. I fell asleep before I was able to hurt myself at all and now I'm going to bed.

Hope you feel better tomorrow, cog. Take it easy.

Morning...

I hope those that were struggling yesterday have a better day today.

as much as I farted while my mom was home it didn't smell.... now that she leaves I let out a stinky one. dammit... I was to get back at her with the farting.

Check it out, I had no idea these books would be so thick!

Good morning everyone.

Hugs to everyone struggling right now.

I was allowed to go home for the weekend to see how I do. It's possible I'll be discharged from the hospital on Monday. We'll see. I had a bad night last night.

My mom thankfully has listened to me and is talking to my dad about things before I call him today. I hope I can find out some useful information; some answers that may explain if I could have gotten these problems genetically.

I was lectured on Thursday by my nurse and wife to stay in medication compliance with the Zyprexa. They told me if I quit then I will just get psychotic symptoms again, and my wife does not want that happening. I just don't think I have that big of a problem to warrant needing these meds...

Wow those look prettttty big! Should keep you occupied a long time!