Roll call 94?

SMELL MY WRATH

Anyways... looks like you have some reading to do Miss SP

Yes...I think my goal will be end of the year to take the test....
For a+, network will have to wait.

Are you enjoying being home if last night wasn't great? You've got another day home right?

That's good that you might be getting some answers from your dad.

You know what I think about med compliance... got to give it a few months. Also remember sometimes it can be easy to think things are fine in spite of meds, when really it is the meds which are helping...

Even if you have a small problem with psychosis anything with psychosis is still big......

Hell my mom still calls my schizophrenia as depression. I don't correct her because really a mental illness is a mental illness no matter what it is and should be treated as such... like a human being.

Idk....I havent been severely depressed so I'm not sure how it compares to sz/psychosis but I know society in general is more worried about sz so there is an additional stigma to deal with. Of course you are correct about the human being part...very well said.

Is anyone here afraid to say "Im ok" cause every minute may end up a vision of hell, and just speaking about it makes you uneasy and unpredictable?

For me, my psychosis is fairly mild, so I find talking about it helps me... but I know when I had more pronounced symptoms I could easily get triggered. So I understand where you are coming from...

Well, being home is just another day for me. I was feeling depressed and anxious most of the evening. Talking to my dad about this subject makes me very nervous.

So basically falling into the trap of thinking the meds aren't really helping when in fact they are?

Like regardless of how small or big the problem with psychotic symptoms is still a big problem?

I rather not get into a debate on which illness is worse. I've heard bipolar people say that Bipolar is the worse. I hear schizophrenia is the worse. Depression is always seen as mild but when you get into severe depression it can turn someone psychotic and also hard to function from day to day stuff.

I guess I was talking about how talking about my condition is a condition risk. I was afraid I wont be understood so thanks.

I used to be in a lot worse condition but somehow at least I managed to find reasoning in all this, albeit after years of mental struggle...

Yes in my opinion....mostly due to delusions, you can end up doing something you regret if you believe something completely untrue. For example I believed the world was going to end (classic right) so I needed to donate all my money to the charity of my choice.....I almost did this with my life's savings......small misunderstanding leading to a big problem.

Fair enough.....although I remember this thread on Reddit about what doctors think is the worst (not just MI) appparently it's something called locked in syndrome....where you're kind of in an awake coma is your mind works but your body is frozen.

what's the difference between locked in syndrome and catatonic schizophrenia?

I'm not sure exactly but it think you can still move slightly with csz vs total paralysis with locked in......could be wrong.

Had catatonic moments, and what I would call semi ones...

No I think that is right, locked in is complete paralysis with some sporadic eye movements and unable to communicate whilst catatonic is just lack of movement for extended periods of time. Source: House, MD.

It's interesting that from what I've read catatonic schizophrenia is a lot less common now with the advent of APs.

God I haven't watched house in a long time.

Ding ding ding Ohayo Wake up
Doki doki morning.

I listen to this in the morning when my phone goes off into music. I love Baby Metal.

They played a a music festival I went to in 2014 but it was the day I wasn't there. Everyone I talked to loved them though...

Damn.. I wish I lived by a larger city in the us.
who would of thought to bring 3 young girls to sing in heavy metal band.

Okay, that is a good point...most of the time my delusions are persecutory in nature, or based on demon possession. The worst case I could see is turning myself into the police for something that never happened...

Most of my voices come from dead people... mainly kids... I feel uncomfortable around kids because of my past sexual abuse from my mom's now ex boyfriend. I've seen a little girl appear out of nowhere with blood dripping down her leg. Then the little girl disappeared in front of my eyes. It was crazy. I scared away a friend when I told him dead children talk to me.... I thought he was the one who would understand but really... he said himself his illness never got as bad as mine. It's been a year and it still bothers me he cut contact with me.

I kind of want to go buy a bottle of Bailey's and get drunk...

I can empathise as I worried exactly the same thing when it looked like my mum would need a new liver. I decided that I would seriously downplay my difficulties because the thought that my mum could die because I have some BS diagnosis was worse than anything else. It is a really difficult situation though because you need help too and I can see that you're trying so hard to keep it all together for your wife's sake...I wish that you could seek help and still help your wife, in fact seeking help would help you better be there for her, but they could theoretically use it against you...I'm so sorry Gr3tta. I wish things were easier for you

PM me if you want to talk some more. Obviously I wasn't in the same situation as you and I don't know exactly how you feel, but there were some similarities

*Willow*