ParRoll Call 97

I have a pill box
But it got empty and I never refilled it

That's the beauty of the rx timer caps, nothing to refill....

I started cleaning a bit. Its too late for this

Do you still keep his balls in that jar as a reminder to pay attention on the first date?

Balls!!!

Meatballs!!!

Well, I'm not getting any sleep tonight. The girl across the street was screaming for people to call 911, that her boyfriend beat the **** out of her, that the son witnessed it. I called 911 but the police already must have had a call. They were here in like 2 minutes after I had called. The boyfriend or husband was an animal... Others came to stop it but he would yell, "She's MY girlfriend!" Ownership in his voice. I see her with a new man every few months. I suppose this one's over. Man, the neighbors won't forget this any time soon. I hope she's okay... Poor kid... I don't understand violent people one bit.

I was diagnosed bpd too I was once on 15 different meds and then one Sui attempt my pdoc took me off them all at once and left me stranded with nothing for 3 weeks until we had an appointment like she was mad at me or something! I went into the hospital 3 days later having tremors, twitches, and sweats and I hadn't slept in 3 days! They sent me home from the hospital saying to take my meds I said what meds? Then I came back the next day and they said I needed an injection so I basically left because I wasn't on any shots ! The next day after I was lead back into the hospital by the cops after they found me in near a homeless camp having a psychotic episode because being misdiagnosed with bpd. They said where was my meds I said look it up I have no meds they released me from the hospital with no meds check the psych records after I was in the seclusion room for 5 days because I was way out of it! They finally believed me and checked the records and I was right! Anyway the chief of the hospital had a hay day with my then pdoc!

My second pdoc diagnosed me with schizophrenia and psychosis and SAD and social anxiety.

My now third pdoc diagnosed me with PTSD and psychosis and anxiety but I am unsure of her even though I ask by name for her! I wish the first appointment was better received I was really Sui about almost two weeks ago and I went to the hospital and the pdoc that I was suppose to see later on in September was on call at the hospital she agreed to see me next morning! Anyways I tried to speak of the voices but it seemed she was in a one track mind. All she was concerned about the last time I saw my first pdoc ugh!

I was going to say I hated that label of bpd because it wasn't me at all because I was hearing voices within 3 months of my accident and told my first pdoc that after 2 years of being embarrassed and she just laughed at me, horrible I tell ya!

There seems to be a lot of proof that everything is real now. I feel anhedonic and can't see any connections outside of reality. I cried 250 times this week and haven't cried at all today.

But I took the drug again.

Withdrawal in a very very rare form apparently is severe psychosis even on meds and severe mood swings, euphoric tingling sensations in the body and head, empathy, chillness, hallucinations etc.. Just like when you are supposed to feel like when taking the drug.

I should just flush it but I'm going to try and not use it again and I know I wont because it doesn't get me high. It's like an antipsychotic and mood stabilizer at this point.

Only if I get really really tired and unable to function then I would have to take a small dose. That's why I can't flush it. It's the only reason.

It's going to be a really bumpy road for the next week or two or maybe forever..

It could be forever because it didn't seem to stop after a week of not taking it. I can't lie to myself..

i think i know why i have been depressed lately
it's been a few days since i took my APs

i googled geodon withdrawal and i learned that depression is a part of geodon withdrawal also i have been dizzy lately so there's that

They are starting to find the cure to dementia by using random drugs backed up by codes in legit memory itself like when a certain drug can stop the illusion of pain on fake "opioid receptors" that crap out eventually but not with some opioids apparently found in coffee beans genetically mutated blablabla

This is the way I see the world now.

Idk what is real. But I do at the same time.

I'm either depressed or psychotic.

Maybe because the world is just too scary and horrifying for me. So I've lost touch with reality idk.

I'm going to try and sleep. I fear that there are people in the house. And they will try and kill me. Or that someone is looking through my window and will try to kill me or worse.

Morning,

I didn't go to college today. I'm not sure why, I think I was just exhausted from not sleeping well and lacking motivation.

I think today would have been a good day too.. but at least being the first week it's unlikely I'll have missed anything too important.

I'll just need to make sure I don't do it again. Missing days is never a good idea. Will just have to force myself out the door if I feel in a similar way... I think in many ways by the time I got to college I'd be fine... so...

Oh well. Four day weekend now. Got a little work to do but hopefully I'll feel revitalised by Monday.

Morning/afternoon everyone. How are things going?

Kori, you look great with the dreads!

I had my mammogram and ultrasound this afternoon, and it went well. Just dense tissue. No problems. A big weight off my chest. (no pun intended :P)

I'm glad the mammogram went well.

Good morning. Getting ready for my nap. Hope the boss doesn't call to early. I'm tired.
What's everyone up to today? I'm just working. Hope you all have a good day.

Afternoon.
Feeling a bit better so far today. Not as much weirdness. Saw my psychologist and was good to talk.
Sat having a coffee at a cafe now. Guna go to the gym a bit later and do some packing for when we move.
I went and tried some jeans on to see how they fit and I think I've lost some weight, they fit a bit better! So that's made me feel quite good.
Hope everyone has a good day

Good morning/afternoon/evening (evening is to myself lol). Took Lamotrigine twice so far, last night and this morning, will take another one tonight. No side effects so far. I was sitting on my couch for hours today, feeling like idk what to do with my life. Not the first time I think like that but usually, it's either making me depressed or I simply don't care, but today I felt confused I was confused like a teacher asked me a question and I didn't know the answer. I don't think it's the Lamotrigine though since I only took it twice so far. For anyone with Lamictal, do you remember how long it took until it worked? Hope anyone has a good day!

For me I started on lamictal at 25mg and increased to 100mg over 25 mg increments. I noticed an effect after 3-4 weeks on stabilizing my moods.

Thanks FR. My doc put me on 100 mg, 50 mg in the morning and another 50 mg before bed. 3-4 weeks is pretty long I was hoping it will work in just a week

Morning

Having coffee but im realllll tired

No problem. Yeah, my memory is a little fuzzy of that time in my life, so maybe it was sooner. I don't totally remember. :P But yeah, I do hope it works for you.

Second to last day of work today...! It's bittersweet. I'm not looking forward to job hunting at all.

Wasn't really tired last night but finally fell asleep around 3am and woke up at 730am like no big thang.

No drinking today, I promise!

It's good that you decided not to drink today

Very glad

Theres a gas shortage around here

I've got an appointment with my GP this morning, my eye is swollen even worse today. I can barely see out of it. I hope that it is a quick fix what ever it is.