ParRoll Call 97

I'm not really sure, to be honest. I know I was completely stigmatized at the hospital in 2013, but it seems like they kept everything separate, like I have BPD, and Schizophrenia, and depression, and anxiety, OCD, etc, etc. Not like a holistic view of me but just a whole bunch of issues and they just treat me with ap, ad, and whatever else. I'm kind of glad that I didn't really become a consumer of psychiatric services when I was young. It might have broken my spirit.

Okay. Yeah, I think often times they attribute all my problems to BPD, which gets very frustrating. In my medical records, the Dx shows up on every appointment or hospital visit too. I'm skeptical of them. I'm gonna talk to my pdoc about it next week because I really think my symptoms have improved a lot over the last year and a half in that area. It's primarily depression, anxiety, and periodic psychotic symptoms that seem to affect me.

Yea, I hope they can be dynamic enough to change your dx as you become more stable. I'm still not sure what's in my pdoc files now, and I wouldn't want to find out. It gets me very upset.😑

I hope so too. I feel like they're not being accurate in their assessments of my mental health. It's like they don't even care. I talked to my therapist earlier about coming up with ways to cope with hallucinations and such, and she gives me an exercise on situational stuff and what I can do differently from my normal reactions. Not totally related to this. I'm too curious to not know my health records...which may or may not be for the best. >.>

Crap...I just realized I was getting suspicious and paranoid of everyone...including my other partner. It flipped a switch because I always trust her, and was the only way I realized I'm not thinking completely in reality. This is tough, these things go without my knowledge of them even happening. And I'm taking my APs too.

No ive been taking it consistently for a while now. I refuse to increase the dose because it makes it impossible to get up for work, it's bad enough already

Hi everyone,

Today has been a mediocre day by most accounts. I attended the first day of this class training me on AppVolumes and User Experience Managment. The class was fine, the labs were long and drawn out. They were still educational though, so that is pretty good.

I woke up and my eye was swollen this morning, and it got worse as the day went on. Not really sure what is going on there, but people noticed. So I fabricated a story about getting into a boxing match last night, they thought it was a funny story. So I win lol, well sorta still don't know why my eye is swollen.

As of right now, there have been no voices today, or paranoia. Fingers crossed the Invega is getting into my system and working.

Hope you all are doing well today!

I hope all goes well tomorrow!

I was reading some earlier conversation, and IMO certain DXs do affect how doctors and nurses will treat a patient. Long ago before I went into IT I was a CNA on the psych unit at the hospital and I witnessed it all the time.

This is why when i went to the ER for my chest pain i was super scared to mention my psych dx but they asked me if i was on any meds and you all know how that affects physical health so i just told them

Exactly it is not fair that we should have to think about it we should be able to get the same treatment that is equal to anybody else's.

Yeah...this is the kind of thing that makes me want to just saw **** it all with the medical community and just live without the meds or therapy.

Same here

Im feeling A LOT of paranoia right now. Im scared. It revolves around that guy and my friends and the world. People. Im scared. I think im gonna take a gabapentin to calm down.

Im think im having an anxiety attack. I just dont want it to turn into a panic attack and start screaming and panicking

Take a gabapentin?

I did but its gonna take an hour to kick in. My pss warned me about rushing into a relationship. I think this is whats flaring up my symptoms a bit but ive been having symptoms bad since my stepbrother passed.

I feel like im gonna cry the anxiety is overwhelming

I feel like hes lying about everything. Like hes gonna kill me.

Oh s*** i didnt take my meds last night i forgot . Cant take em til 9

Honestly I had wicked anxiety before my second date with the bf.....it helped to talk to him and tell him I was feeling nervous....are you guys talking or texting?

Both. Mostly texting.

Right maybe you want to keep taking those since you have so much going on?

I honestly dont know why i havent been taken them. But now ive gotten into a habit of not. Idk why im like this!!! Ugh. I was doing so well too. I feel so mad at myself.

I would just text him and say you're feeling a little nervous......someone who will be there for you in a supportive way will try to calm you down a bit.....it might help.

At the same time he might not know what to say.....really depends on the guy but it doesn't hurt to spill a little it releases the tension.....