Roll Call 99

What if people are trying to poison me what if it's all poison what if nothing is real what if this is all in my head what if they're listening to my thoughts I know I don't have nail polish on but what if they have other ways what if I have a chip

What if people are trying to poison me what if it's all poison what if nothing is real what if this is all in my head what if they're listening to my thoughts I know I don't have nail polish on but what if they have other ways what if I have a chip

This sounds like delusion Are you seeing a psychiatrist? I think it's time to call them.

Hm. I hate myself for that.

I bet everyone here thinks my life is as bad as what i told yall about my friend.

I hate myself

Be gentle with yourself, newtus. There's no need to keep punishing yourself.

What if people are trying to poison me what if it's all poison what if nothing is real what if this is all in my head what if they're listening to my thoughts I know I don't have nail polish on but what if they have other ways what if I have a chip

Thank you

I punish myself quite a bit with the negative self talk.

I goto the ER now more than a clinic because its cheaper to go there with my medicare than a clinic. Plus the clinic around here isnt always open. Its not 24/7.
But i only went twice this year and once last year.

Either because I am Sui or homicidal or having an anxiety attack and staff can't deal with it or my abdomen was so sore I thought there was something seriously wrong I couldn't walk properly every time I touched it I barfed and later was just found out it was a bladder infection or the antibiotics I was given made me go looney thought I was slipping into psychosis only to realize that I was red as a lobster they tested me and no more infection and I was allergic to antibiotics and had to stop immediately or I have major asthma attacks go to the hospital get X-ray done to find out I had pneumonia all in my left lung that's why I was hacking up fluid which at that point they chalked it up to my acid reflux so I said take an X-ray and did that's what they found out above even after taking the full course of antibiotics for a full month of February I was sick couldn't do or be anything I made two docs appointments and I had to go when no one was there so that meant either early in the morning before no one got there or late at night after they had closed so I wouldn't get sicker but it was so bad at one point I had to be ordered oxygen because the hospital wouldn't keep me! I was also on crutches at the time pre-injury someone passed down their walker so I could go down and bug staff whenever I needed to by executive directors orders if I needed this or that for my place like groceries/cleaning/'taking out the trash or when I slipped and fell on black ice on December when I was delivering papers. the paramedics thought I dislocated my ankle because it was the size of a grapefruit and painful to the touch! Or because I overdosed because the voices said they would hurt my friend if I didn't go hurt a staff member that hurt me like my abusive mother would so (he looked pre-century with no face and giant axe the voice did ) I overdosed to save that both of them!

Does that satisfy your answer?

I can't read there. There is no punctuation

Yeah...no fans or anything, just ambient noises from being in apartment building. I am taking a lower dose (5mg) of olanzapine though...to see if the side effects go down.

I don't have a psychiatrist only a GP and I see him on Thursday but I don't know if I trust him what if he's working with them giving me poison what if they're all trying to kill me slowly slowly slowly or control me

I can't read that. There is no punctuation

Because I placed everything with "or"

Maybe skim it?

I wish my car was fixed. My daughter needs tissues and I REALLY want to go to my son's meet.
I'm kind of bored. My daughter I'd sleeping and so are the dogs. I wish I was. For some reason I can't fall back to sleep. I only napped for 45 minutes so I could still use an hour or two.

I tried. I felt like I was having a stroke trying to read it

It's a giant run on sentence

Get well soon, Loial

Ordered a pizza, looking forward for dinner.

Yeah...no fans or anything, just ambient noises from being in apartment building. I am taking a lower dose (5mg) of olanzapine though...to see if the side effects go down.

I'm not sure how effective 5 is, I believe it's dosed like abilify and I need 7.5 of that or my symptoms come back....of course we are all different....