Roll Call 100: Centennial Edition

Thats how i feel. But ever since i was with my ex ive been wanting to get married. I thought i was gonna marry him. I thought women were to be treated how he treated me. Boy was i wrong when this guy came along.

I was with my husband for 5 years before we were engaged and another 4 years before we were married. We've been married for 15 years. No divorces here.

Good evening everyone. How is everyone doing?

I'm doing okay. The meeting with the unemployment services worker and city social worker went well. They are gonna be contacting the people coordinating rehabilitative work to see about something to get me into doing, and we'll meet again in a few weeks. I also realized while talking with my therapist today that things have overall been showing signs of improvement. Going into the private sector to see a CBT therapist, rehabilitative work, going to the US in the winter to see family and friends, getting off of Risperidone and on to Zyprexa seems to be having positive effects on my state of being. It's all good things.

Good to hear things are going so well!

I find it 10X harder to write fiction than philosophy. Both take a level of creativity, but they are two different types of intelligence. I'm more analytical than intuitive I feel, at least now more so than ever. What does everyone here do to spark creativity?

i used to believe that love happened at first sight and that it was a big, happy fairy tale because my parents have been married for almost 30 years,

but my mom recently told me that she was married once before and it didn't work out, and my dad had a child with another woman before he met my mom...

so it's not perfect, but that doesn't mean that it can't be perfect once you find the right one

I find talking to people sparks my creativity. I can have a long conversation with someone and their quirks and interests spark my creativity. Also, going places to people watch.

I remember when my son came home from kindergarten and asked where his step mom and dad were. I was confused until he told me that all his friends have them. Boy did that bring on a lengthy conversation.

I did personality tests over the years. I was INTP then INFP so more feeling type. I think it's because of the psychedelics. Both still have creativity but only ENTP when I'm around people so more extroverted feeling type. Not just regular people but friends that are genuine. No work place ****. I hate people that work with me always. I hate them so much.

It's hard. Even my parents stayed together, and it surprises me. I'm pretty sure they were both virgins on their wedding day. As crazy as things got, they didn't ever separate. After a bad argument though they took their wedding picture off the wall.That scared me a lot. Anyway, despite everything, I was always glad that they didn't divorce. I'm sorry things were unstable when you were growing up.

I sit down with my guitar and start pulling music out of myself. One year I wrote a romance novel - one of the best times of my life.

Damn. You've done a lot in your years. I have no fun stories of my younger years.

My parents divorced. They also had previous marriages and kids with other people. Im technically the only kid they had together. But i have half brothers and sisters. Also step brothers.

My sister (my moms child) who is technically my half sister but has been there since the day i was born, is half white, half hispanic.

Im half black, half hispanic.

My dads other kids...My half brother is black. And my other half sister is half black half white.

So in my family theres a lot of interracial marriages and mixed kids. But im really proud of that.

Depression cigarettes cold air luke warm coffee messy room motivation in the ground.

That's my life. My life.

Sleepy cloudy days cereal coca cola thinking about working being so bored out of my mind.

Dreams are no good when I'm here.

Leaving everything in my life unfinished. Nothing to push me to go back.

To go back to where I came from. Drifting into the unknown in pain as the time flies away around me circling my mind.

Sadness. Crippling sadness.

I don't have any half brothers or sisters. I do have 3 step sisters and 1 step brother. We don't see each other. My dad remarried when I was an adult so I was never close to the other kids/adults.

I was only close to my sister because she was there ever since i was born. We dont call each other "half sisters" just sisters becUse of that. But i wasnt close to the others. So i call them half.

Im the baby of them all tho.

Out of all my boyfriends ive never dated inside my race. Ive never dated a black guy. The guys that find me just happen to be not my race. But by now i just dont think i could date one.

I like to paint so usually I go out and take some photos of beautiful flowers. For writing I imagine it would be people and places....

I call the steps "my father's wife's kids" or "my father's *****'s kids". Either works for me.

Im cool with my siblings. Its taken me years to accept them but i have.

I never came to terms with my father's wife so her adult children weren't even a consideration. I don't think adult families blend well. I do have some feelings for my step brother. He was young when they got married and I used to babysit him.

Well, you have a family life that I never had. I was always self isolating.

Thank you so much everyone! It's so great to be home! 17 months felt like an eternity!!!

*Willow*

I took 300mg Wellbutrin cuz I forgot to take 150mg this morning.