Roll Call 103

Yea. Honestly idgaf cuz ive been deleting people left and right because im really tired of having to censor myself on there just because a few people wanna get mad or something about what i post. Honestly it does me a favor. Especially assuming if its someone from high school. I added like 40 or so people from high school and i regret adding most of them.

It might not be personal. I know when I was paranoid I deleted a bunch of people. It wasn't necessarily personal just my own thoughts.

Exactly. In the beginning it scared me how he treated me so nice. Because my other two relationships were very emotionally and mentally abusive. One of them bordering on physical abuse, almost but not quite.

Now its not scary so much, but im trying to do my part too. But i feel like me saying i feel bad a lot to him, will make him want to break up with me. He doesnt have mental illness so its gotta be hard having to date someone that does have it. I mean he told me he was diagnosed with adhd years ago tho.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Man, I want some Turkey now... why don't we Brits celebrate thanks giving. We really should. Mmmmm...

Went outside to vape and be in the first day of snow! =]

Day two with no ciggies. I hope to eventually say two weeks then a month etc.

My husband doesn't have mental illness either. He puts up with my crazy and still loves me. It's entirely possible to have a good relationship with someone without mental illness.

We don't have it here either, but don't be sad Loial look what I bring you..

Thanksgiving is because the people from england took new land

My parents celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving every year when I lived in Ireland.

My friends were like wut is this...

It's quite easy to explain really... food... copious amounts of food.

That's what holidays are all about, no?

So...



I'm not sure what triggered it but it's a clear enough sign things aren't well. I'm yet again thinking about dropping out of college. It's just too much to handle right now. It's much harder doing college with MH issues than it was the first time around...

I've been on benzos for years and I'm okay with them still. At one point I was taking 3 mgs a day. I'm prescribed to take two Xanax a day now but I take one Xanax a night about. Sometimes I don't need it though. I try not to use one on Friday or Saturday.

Can you meet your doc soon? Definitely something to talk about with them. Maybe AP alone is not enough? Sorry you're not feeling well ATM

Thanks.

I'm on both an AD and AP at the moment. I'm supposed to be trying to curb my drinking at the moment to see if that helps.

I'll be seeing my p-doc next month.

Alcohol is a depressant. I use to cry about so much stuff after an hour or two of drinking. It also causes insomnia. A lot of people think it helps them sleep, but in fact you dont go into that deep REM sleep that you need if you are drinking.

I sleep ok on alcohol but I have very vivid dreams. I do sleep quite long hours at the moment though. I'm sure the alcohol is to blame.

It really is doing me no good. I need to stop.

Whats everyone up to?

Not much just watching TV. Might go do something later idk. Turkey day tomorrow...

Today is boring

I ate way too much. I feel sick. A whole personal pizza and a really large green smoothie. Dang...i could barely swallow that last bite. I thought i was gonna throw up. This isnt like me.

But in my defense, ive barely been eating lately. So my stomach is probably smaller.

I'm just listening to Metallica and browsing PC.

The amount you are used to eating can definitely make a difference. I used to have two servings Christmas, but these days I eat less and can only manage one.

Im so busy during the week tho, i dont have time to really eat. And i dont like eating out. I like to eat at home.

I'm sure that helps, portions eating out are usually pretty large. Eating regularly with smaller portions is better for us.