Roll Call 105

Being locked inside is torture on Prozac. I wish I could go out for a bike ride.

My boss and another boss wants me to call 5 coworkers that I'm supposed to call "Team members" because I can't get a ride to work because my mom is gone to the city and I live in the middle of no where and have no friends to get a ride but everyone's so bitter but happy I hate people. One person I called and it came to voicemail saying in a negative tone "I'm busy" then it went beep. 2nd person I called said he couldn't cover for me but was probably lying.

I didn't bother calling the other 3 people. Why should I have to call? It doesn't make any sense and I'm sick of things not making sense. They could easily call themselves. Am I not responsible enough or something? Is there something I'm supposed to learn about this?

If I can't get a ride then I'm going to get fired probably and the only reason I wanted the job anyways was to keep myself busy and make a bit of extra money because I failed studying being sent to the psych ward all the time.

It's like when someone goes to voicemail, I think that it does that because the person knows I'm going to call before I even call.

I also want to go to the city with my mom and sister and enjoy myself because I'm depressed and it would be good for me.

I'm going to apply for another job maybe my last job and weld house anchors but the people there are assholes and look down on me because I'm new.

My mom is too stressed out to teach me how to drive my dads standard jeep so I can't get a drivers license.

I can’t remember are you in the US or Canada? Because I know this is a thing in Canada with taxes. You should for sure look into it.

my pdoc wants to take me off stelazine and put me on straight geodon instead of being on the max dose of stelazine

I hope that I can stop taking all of my meds someday

maybe a prn will help?

Was with the kids but now I'm just playing on my phone for a few minutes.

I'm in the US but I'm going to check anyway.

It's a good thought but they might think I'm requesting them too frequently. Still, it would probably help. I wish I had waited in the gym but it was kind of crowded when I went and I hate crowds.

I think maybe I gained weight, but as of my last weighing I had still lost one pound in maybe 2 months. I've begun eating all the carbs they serve because I'm always kind of hungry but it really slowed down my weight loss. Also, I skipped like 2 or 3 weeks in the gym. I'm going to have to wander around in here like Ichabod Crane because I have so much unused energy.

I should have never let people discourage me from writing my first book. I'm officially back at the first one. The first part in the trilogy is already complete. The second part is 3/5ths complete. I can do this. I have all winter to finish it so that's what I'll do. I just have to find the motivation somewhere. I just have to open the fine and begin to read but my mind just wants garbage.

Has anyone else gotten the Tapatalk update? What do you think about them killing pagination? It is a pita for me because I prefer pages, not "spools" that keep unrolling.

Mine hasn't updated thankfully. I like pages.

My head isn't buzzing or anything I don't think. Last time I took a Cymbalta I felt maybe like this? But I panicked and that was really difficult. It was awful being locked up in my apartment when it was a horrible mess with all the cartons.

Does anyone agree with me that the creepy guy should not be playing around with his face, scratching it constantly. I've realized that the risk to me is slim and I can almost laugh about it but I can't stop my revulsion. He starts off in one area, and scratches it, then he'll move his hand all over the rest of his face. Through his beard and mustache, etc etc etc. And he just keeps going. I'm almost ready to tell the nurses that he has a fungal infection on his face.

The dude with the ever more gaping holes in his pants was finally forced to change his clothes thank God.

If you've ever exhaled a cigarette you know how far your breath travels in space. Consider being locked up here, continually breathing in all the same people everyday for months or years! It's disgusting.

I just got home from group and seeing my pss.

We talked about how its hard for me to relate to people at this clinic because a lot are homeless or dont have a lot of money and stuff. So the only stories i can really relate to are of mental illness. I told her i feel like i dont fit in tho.

Has anyone tried the new cbt bot?

https://woebot.io

It's supposed to help with depression but uses messenger which I don't have installed....

I'm going to use this website to create my book. The maximum page limit is 800 pages on a 6 by 9 size paper for the book which is standard. I put my books into it and it translated into... 722 pages. I'm going to have to delete some of the poetry, which will take out a ton, but I still have a lot to add, many philosophers left like Hume, Descartes, Bacon, Kant, Thomas Reid, Wittgenstein, Darwin. Each will take up 15 pages, and there are books I still want to cross reference like Tennyson's In Memoriam. And I still have to write in the rest of my story... I might have to divide it into two books, but damn, i'd like it to fit into one.

I'm glad you're excited about your book again

Im so glad to be home from work!
I'm going to look at my online things a little while, make dinner, hopefully find a movie or show to watch, then wash my hair.
I'm happy because my wife had a vascular appointment this morning, and they can try using her fistula tomorrow! Her vascular catheter could be out soon, yea!

The burger king earlier bothered my stomach...and is making me paranoid that it's poisonous.

Just tried the woebot had to install messenger......so far kinda limited all it did was point me to a survey to keep receiving free chatbot services then it showed me a video about phrasing things carefully in cbt because words have the power to change how you feel. Then it was just like bye. I'm going to keep trying it though because I don't have time for therapy.

There was a woman at group today who went off her meds and is in a group home right now to get back on her feet.

I feel so out of place at that clinic.

Ive never really had to deal with being on the street or put out of my home other than when my mom put my dad and i out and gave us a month to leave when i was 17. I never had to worry about money and thats what everyone that goes there does have to worry about.

I couldnt relate to that either......maybe you need more friends outside group?

It has gotten so dark in here even though I have my light on. I hate the long nights.

The long nights are miserable.

I'm so happeh for some reason.

There's got to be more to life than this.