Roll Call 105

I still feel off. I have a rock in the pit of my stomach. Not sure why.

Yea i do. Im not trying to be offensive but those people arent on my economical level. All that means IS is stuff like they dont have a car, when not having a car is unusual for this area. Theres no transportation here other than uber if you dont have a car. Sure yea in dallas but not in small city like the one where the clinic is. Ive had to give many many rides to people at that clinic and i realllly dont like giving rides to random strangers, being female myself.

Also stuff like they cant even pay for a cup of coffee or something that requires money. Let alone anything i could pay for. I mean most of these people at this are really dirt poor. Thats what my pss said anything. But im inclined to believe her because shes heard many peoples stories and talked to many many many clients.

Thats why i feel so out of place. Everytime i go there im the only person with the nicest car in the parking lot other than the director who has a Mercedes.

Im REALLY not trying to brag. Only trying to let you guys visualize how bad off these people are.......

Free floating anxiety? Have you smoked anything that might cause anxiety? I had that feeling well over a year ago when I wanted a cigarette really badly. Then I smoked one and it tasted horrible and left me feeling greasy from smoke.

I haven't smoked anything so no outward cause .
Just random anxiety I guess. Must be my lucky day.

I'm so not ready for the nights here...when I get back from the states there will only be 4 1/2 hours of sunlight A day...

Do you have those special lights like for SAD?

Oh my gosh. I can't even imagine. :/

How long does that last? I don't think I'd survive.

I do, thank goodness. I need to start using it soon.

It lasts for about a month, and then it's still below 6 hrs for a total of 2-3 months from like Nov to Feb.

It reminds me of the scene in Zootopia after they leave the DMV. "Wait... It's NIGHT??!!??"

I'm cleaning my uncle's house, and I feel very productive.

....my ex just called and left a long voicemail...

Idk what to think. He said he wanted to catch up. Hes the one that broke up with me tho so idk what he wants from me. I might have to text him and just tell him that im with someone else.

That's hard but it sounds like you have a good plan......

I just texted him and told him im with someone else and all he said was “ok bye”. Idk what he wants from me anymore. Hes deleted me from facebook. I just want him to leave me alone. Its really pissing me off. My pss said he was probably wanting me to pick him up from the group home. Like? Leave me alone already.

I deleted one of my ex's from facebook because it hurt too much to be reminded of her. I still wanted to be friends with her but it hurt too much. I had to distance myself.

My ex is just playing games. Thats all hes doing.

Im sick of it

I was told to come in from vaping just now and my friend texted and said he can't make it on Saturday. I'm so disappointed. I was hoping we'd have a lot of hugging this weekend. I miss him so much.

I'm feeling the decrease in nicotine lately. I miss the throat hit of higher nic too. I forgot - oh yeah, I asked for a prn. I don't know why she told me to come in now. She could have waited and I'd have gone in with the group.

The overhead panel light is on. It's so much better than when they turn it off. Maybe I should ask for a lamp.

So I'm going to have to ask for all the supplies I was going to get. Kleenex, and more. I really need a TV vacation. Back to cable TV. I haven't been watching TV at all the past few months.

I have to call the cable company. I still have the cable box and modem and remote to return!

I've been given a lot of snacks tonight. Better too many than not enough I guess. I took my meds so hopefully I'll wind down a bit.

You could hide the extras under your mattress.

I guess. I just put them in my nightstand drawer. Shouldn't eat them anyway though. I will eat my breakfast egg though.

They aren't giving me enough gabapentin. My foot keeps seizing up and my eyebrow keeps twitching.