Roll Call 112

Angelique here is one of my kitties. This is Funny Face she’s 17. My other cat was camera shy.

Dealing with stuff i need to talk to a professional about

It’s good you’ll be seeing you t and ps this week. I’m sure they will be able to help you.

Sometimes I day drink to numb my feelings. I don’t necessarily feel bad I just don’t want to feel what I’m feeling...? It doesn’t really make sense. I get too confused with my feelings and don’t know how to handle them. I’ve never been good with feelings.

Emotional pain is especially hard for me to wrap my head around. I can’t process it so I self harm to convert it to physical pain.

Feelings suck.

Thanks.

I keep having doubts about the relationship. Not sure if its concerning or if its just circular thinking resulting from fear and what-if’s. It started a long time ago but it got severe when i started thinking about moving in and marriage. It got so bad i almost broke up with him this morning. But its weird because i love him and care about him. So it doesnt make sense. Just real confused.

In order. Roko is in front. Sophie is on the left and Henry is on the right.

Don’t get too caught up in long term thinking. Enjoy the moment while planning for the future in the back of your mind. Don’t make rash decisions.

Good evening/afternoon everyone. How are things going today?

Hugs to Desoxyn, Newtus, and Valley.

I'm okay today. Went grocery shopping in blizzard-like conditions. Snow was coming down in white out conditions. Still doesn't scare me though. Snow driving can be fun when your car can handle it. We have studded winter tires on it. It grips good for a front wheel drive car.

Watched some video from Hardware Unboxed about further tests with the Meltdown/Spectre vulnerabilities. Tests with the Windows update for it, and then again with a BIOS update to the microcode to lower the CPU's aggression with branch prediction so as to mitigate the vulnerability to an extent. Currently this fix is only out for Asus motherboards using the Z370 chipset. The results with the i3-8100 and i7-8700K were nominal when it came to games, productivity, and benchmarking software. The problem came with 4K writes on NVMe storage, as well as SATA SSDs. This is unfortunate as I have a Samsung 960 EVO in my computer. Performance saw impacts in this area up to 40%.

Well, that's enough techie jargon for now. what's everyone up to?

Yea. Thank you. I need to remind myself that. Ive always been kind of unable to live in the moment. Which is probably why im always setting goals and thinking about the future. I always seem to dwell on past and the future. Never really in the moment.

But he helped me be yesterday and it was the most fun ive had in a week.

Do you have pets? Share a pic!

Oh, so sweet!

She was getting ready to jump on me

Guess ill just be home today...

Havent left my house in a week

There hasn't been a smoke break since Wednesday. :/ I sure hope the weather warms up tomorrow like it's supposed to.

I slept after breakfast. I guess I'll go get a Coke soon. Unless it's sold out.

I hope her nails are trimmed lol.

Hahaha. I wouldn’t dare trim her nails. She’d tear me up. Even at 17 she’s still got some spunk

Haha, I couldn't do that when my cat was young but once she was older she let me.

It’s supposed to be pretty “warm” for the next 10 days according to my weather app. Hopefully you’ll get a vape break tomorrow. Do they let you go out in the rain?

Yes, they've let us go out when it's raining and snowing. Just not in the very cold weather. Oh how I wish it were tomorrow. If my weather app is right we should have a bunch of days at higher than 30 degrees.

I haven’t left my house either. The roads are still covered in ice. I’m currently fighting the urge to go out and buy. Where my guy lives doesn’t get plowed though.

But I dread this winter after that. Could be 3 or 4 months without a smoke break. Sorry I said my weather app after you did! My brain hasn't really woken up today. Coke was sold out so I got a Sprite zero.

They have these gluten free pizza crusts at one store I go to and they’re so good. I’m waiting for my pizza to cook in the oven. Pepperoni, cheese, green peppers, hot banana and jalapeño peppers, and onions.

It was only cold here half the week. Warmer today. But still havent left.

Trying not to cry right now

what’s the matter?