Roll Call 125

Welcome to roll call, Malosi! I'm hoping you're having a better day.

I have to go get singles for the Coke machine. I hope everyone is OK.

Took my invega injection :/

Random thought: When I talk, I butcher the sentences in my head

Where is everyone? It’s so quiet...🤫

Idk why i havent been on here.

Ive been bored all day. Was on the phone for an hour and a half.

Drank a beer. Didn’t get drunk, but that’s probably best.

What have yall been watching on netflix lately?

Wood fires 🔥 haha and moving art....mostly mellow stuff you can have on in the background...

Also chefs table...pastry chef edition.....

Door2015 likes that too

Jezy Cheezy. My phone battery (android) has been burning 30% faster than a month ago so I decided to do a factory reset. Samsung and Android couldn't have made it more difficult to get back up and running.

It was crazy how little programs want to collect information. For example the biggest keyboard on android is googles own GBoard. It said that it would keep data typed including credit card numbers and passwords. wtf is that all about?

That beer hurt my stomach.

My flucking abdomen hurts

i've been paranoid the past couple days. Tonight I started to link my psychosis with how my boss treated me and how his wife looked at me. I hope it isn't actual psychosis, but I just caught myself making a web people who might be conspiring. Im going to sit on this for the next couple days. Ill be blunt with my boss and ask if he's okay. ****. I just made another connection in my head. sigh. God I just want this nightmare to be over.

My heart is beating fast after I had to clean a hotel room fast. I hope it slows down. I think it's because of the Invega injection this morning.

Anyways, I found something that explains my mind well..

"People with political brain-computer malware never say, “I don’t have an opinion on this because I haven’t done enough research and thinking on it.”

Dogmatic, non-adaptive minds tend to have an opinion on everything. Even if they haven’t thought about a given issue for themselves, they just default to whatever opinion is popular with their tribe.

Healthy minds, by contrast, are extremely humble. They realize the world is ridiculously complex and that it’s actually impossible to have an informed opinion on everything. They are honest about what they don’t know, and they realize they should be cautious about forming opinions because humans are so good at deluding themselves and jumping to premature conclusions."

This is what stems off of how I think everyone has psychosis but it's not psychosis idk (I don't know - I say that a lot) it's something else like a virus of what people do in groups thinking it's ok to do because everyone else does it.

Shared psychotic disorder of society. Different from shared psychotic disorder from one psychotic mind to a healthy mind. And if I have my own psychosis, I'm not sharing it from other people. Because my delusions are very bizarre and don't have much to do with conspiracy theories at all. Conspiracy theories are shared psychosis of society that are more likely to eventually come true.

But some way down the line I feel like my mind hallucinates these things and Invega kills any controlled thought. Like decreasing thoughts in general. I don't know. It really confuses me. We are just brains trapped inside a dark skull and we hallucinate by neuro connections of what we perceive.

It's like a never ending cycle. People get it, some don't. But in the end, anything in an environment can make someone psychotic from sensing through sight, sound, etc. If it all comes as coincidence, it seems like it's not if they happen too many times. Music (By sound) can make people cry by actually changing the neurochemistry in the brain by giving a reaction by what the listener knows is for sure to be real..

Good morning. I startled awake at 5. Yawn.
Just working today. Then playing taxi cab. Hoping for another quiet day. Yesterday was good. My boss never even called.
Have a good day everyone.

Slept all day yesterday. Why I wasn't talking.

so yesterday after work I met up with a guy I hadn't seen in like 6 years. I was nervous obviously but it went really well. he's obsessed with conspiracy theories, gnosticism, and psychedelics

don't worry I won't be tripping. I can't do that anymore lol. that was over a decade ago for me

anyway he said he wanted to hang out again and I told him to just hit me up

I'M BRANCHING OUT AND MAKING NEW FRIENDS

today im off work (thank GOB)

I'm going to call the co-op soon. my neighbor is actually the manager of the deli /bakery there and she's the one who called and left me the voicemail

I see my pdoc at 11. gonna tell her about the depression episode but not about voices. I don't want her trying to mess with my APs

then tonight I'm going to an off cycle game night with my therapist and 3 other ppl (one is my old roommate).I'm excited abt that!! I miss playing games

Hey has anyone seen the movie constipation?
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No?
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It hasn't come out yet
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Good morning/afternoon everyone. How are things going today?


I'm good. Just got back from band practice. I did a lot of solo rehearsal in a private room to tighten down my vocals for one of the songs. Then later on the leader wanted my mentor and another vocalist to evaluate me some more. Well, that blew me away. They were both very pleased with my vocals. Then one of them said it sounded like I have more headway with my voice, that I could go higher. So I just decided to throw away inhibitions. The note that came out of my mouth was beyond what all three of us were expecting. A freaking full-voiced (not falsetto) E6 with vibrato in it. That....gave me confidence. I realised here, with the help I am getting I have potential as a vocalist. They were both excited to have me on board and they said we're gonna be able to do a lot of things.

What's everyone up to?

Waiting for my daughter to finish getting ready for school so we can leave. Then more coffee, a bowl, and work. Doesn’t look like it will be a bad day.

interview on Friday at 10am for the co-op!!!!!

Ladies and gentlemen... I am on my period. Thank you... It's a heavy one too. I miss not having them.

My teeth been chattering I think it's the meds.

I’m wearing my last clean T-shirt....went to do the laundry and all the machines are full, on a Wednesday....I guess no one works in my building, a lot are retired. Then another of my clean T-shirt’s was ripped...it was from Tennessee I was sad.

y'all know what time it isssss