Roll Call 139

I'm here too.

Today is the last day of the workweek, thanks to Thanksgiving. I got a lot of stuff done because I came in early. I'll probably get OT today unless the owner of the company lets us leave early. Then I have a PDOC appointment tonight. Tomorrow--RELAX! Can't wait for tomorrow. Kit

Ah I hope you don’t have to wait too long!

I’m just watching Sword Art Online atm.

I’m at work. I have a short week today but that was Monday off. I had thanksgiving off last month lol.

I'm sorry Blue_Bird and junkDNA you both have issues hearing crowds. Since being on APs my occurrence has been less of it. But in the past especially I would hear crowds and it would make it really hard to fall asleep.

Im here too

oh lawd i have a dentist appointment coming up

I was feeling hyper and with the music earlier now I feel down in the dumps again.

I would go back to my doctor sooner than my next appointment but I guess I’m worried he won’t do anything and think I haven’t given CBT chance to work.

My appointment with my therapist went well. I talked to her about everything, the voices, depression, eating disorder stuff, anxiety about leaving the house. She said that the depression is from the bipolar aspect of my disorder. She said she thinks I'm doing a good job at trying to improve things. I've been using the DBT Skills Workbook for Bulimia I got, making myself do stuff even though it's difficult and making it to the appointment, working on coping skills and mindfulness. The paranoia and feeling like there's a crowd and hearing people talking surrounding me is the psychosis. I agreed to make an appointment with one of the other psychiatrists there for a couple weeks from now (just to check on how things are going by that point) because mine is out for surgery right now and I won't be able to see her till January. She felt like it would be good to see her sooner but I want to see how things the next few weeks because I'm feeling like my mood is starting to improve.

I see my therapist again on Dec 13th, (same day I see that other psychiatrist there). So I'm hoping to keep working on this and see if my mood continues to improve

Also, I met my new case manager earlier today. She seems really nice, she's going to follow up on my application to those apartments I applied to and she's going to see about finding a chatline or something I can call for support during hard times (not emergencies, just like for when I'm struggling and need someone to talk with over the phone)

I see my PDOC tonight. Have to tell him about the voices. Kit

I was supposed to see my pdoc this morning, but I didn’t set my alarm and missed the appointment. I should get a letter for another one soon though... just sucks I missed it.

Good news: the usps finally found my broken phone and the company sent me an email saying the received it. That means I don't need to give tmobile 415 bucks now, and I only had 9 days to spare until I owed it no matter what. Phew thank god! Who has that kind of money during the holidays???

Could you see about setting up an appointment in the afternoon? That's what I started doing. I used to be a morning person and always take super early appointments like 8 am but had to start making them for the afternoon because of being tired and sleeping a lot all the time the past year

I prefer morning appointments so I can get them out the way. It’s very unusual for me to oversleep. I’ve not missed a single appointment since 2012 apart from one when I was ill until now.

I have to have mine in the evening so I don't miss work, and it sucks. I miss having a day off during the week so I could get appointments out of the way early in the morning. But I'm just off on the weekends. So that means late appointments. It's the last thing I want to do tonight, but I have to get my meds refilled and let him know about the voices. Sometimes I have really late T appointments too, like 7:30 at night. They suck. I hate having appointments that late. But I can't miss work all the time so I'm stuck. At least they have hours that can accommodate my work schedule. Kit.

OK, thanks. My anxiety has been worse lately, because it gets dark so early. But Christmas is just around the corner with the winter solstice so that cheers me up.

Partial is over.

I'm off until next Monday.

Obviously no thanksgiving here on 22nd, but all the ads on youtube for black friday are showing up...lol.

does finland even have a black friday like kind of day?

Oh yes. They started doing black friday shopping days now...wasn't a thing until recently.

I am starting to wonder if all the years of my crazy excitement during the holidays was actually possibly mania that I just considered normal, I've had manic episodes since like 18 years old but I never considered the holiday thing related to that. But it generally gets ridiculous, I get so excited starting in October and it goes all the way through till mid January. Like VERY over the top excited, extremely hyper, barely sleeping the entire holiday season, can't sit still, racing thoughts, intense euphoria, scattered thoughts, pacing non stop, impulsive etc. Maybe that's why my lack of it makes me feel so flat and miss it.

although been diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar type at one point i have no clue what mania is but i use to dream what it was like in a very bad state to the point of not being able to sit down in the dreams running around like a maniac.

I've been drinking bottle of wine a day. But I bought two bottles this time.

My mood is a 4/10.

I used to be a complete atheist and was like damn it newtus for her switching from atheism to theism and now I believe in some sort of God what's up with that..

I cant explain it but its symbolism that fragments with the infinite dimension half of reality and it's all the same..

Same in the UK. I think Amazon was the first to start it.