Roll Call: 146

ofthevalley · Apr 14, 2019 at 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

Mental illness doesn't mean you're mentally weak tho

No. MI does not mean you’re weak.
I think my brain is faulty/weak.

Erti · Apr 14, 2019 at 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

No. MI does not mean you’re weak.
I think my brain is faulty/weak.

well that makes no sense... you say your brain is faulty and weak but all that can be explained with mental illness... someone who is faulty and weak are those who hurt others. have you hurt others? no! You're working as hard as you can with the cards you're dealt. Remember, you're a good mother. a good wife... a good daughter... and a good sister. over all a good person in general... kind hearted and caring person... don't forget that.

ofthevalley · Apr 14, 2019 at 09:59 PM

My first dx came after like a 5 minute conversation that included me snotting and crying all over the place.
The next I was completely insane. Said like 6 words and watched out the window for the FBI. Even my paperwork said I was guarded, unable and/or unwilling to provide basic info, unable to effectively communicate, blah blah blah.
Just seems like 5 years have passed. I’m healthy and stable. Have some insight. Seems like a better time to be interrogated

Erti · Apr 14, 2019 at 09:59 PM

well that makes no sense... you say your brain is faulty and weak but all that can be explained with mental illness... someone who is faulty and weak are those who hurt others. have you hurt others? no! You're working as hard as you can with the cards you're dealt. Remember, you're a good mother. a good wife... a good daughter... and a good sister. over all a good person in general... kind hearted and caring person... don't forget that.

ofthevalley · Apr 14, 2019 at 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

well that makes no sense... you say your brain is faulty and weak but all that can be explained with mental illness... someone who is faulty and weak are those who hurt others. have you hurt others? no! You're working as hard as you can with the cards you're dealt. Remember, you're a good mother. a good wife... a good daughter... and a good sister. over all a good person in general... kind hearted and caring person... don't forget that.

Thank you Erti

Desoxyn · Apr 14, 2019 at 10:01 PM

I'm up to 1000 words on my essay. I just wrote nonsense because I don't feel like reading about shamanism right now. I have 300 more words to go but might just hand it in with 4 paragraphs at 1000. I'm completely exhausted mentally.

Erti · Apr 14, 2019 at 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I'm up to 1000 words on my essay. I just wrote nonsense because I don't feel like reading about shamanism right now. I have 300 more words to go but might just hand it in with 4 paragraphs at 1000. I'm completely exhausted mentally.

1000 words in a 4 paragraph essay sounds like you need to divide your paragraphs a bit more...

Desoxyn · Apr 14, 2019 at 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

1000 words in a 4 paragraph essay sounds like you need to divide your paragraphs a bit more...

Sigh.. I put a space and divided one into two.. the exhaustion!

Erti · Apr 14, 2019 at 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Sigh.. I put a space and divided one into two.. the exhaustion!

have your mom read it and she can help you with ideas, organization, runon and fragment sentances, spelling, and grammar.

Desoxyn · Apr 14, 2019 at 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

have your mom read it and she can help you with ideas, organization, runon and fragment sentances, spelling, and grammar.

I think it's very bad and impossible to fix and needs a lot of work. Although interesting to read. Kind of has psychotic ideas in there.. I need to take an English class in the fall cuz it teaches basic things.

Edit: This is an essay where the teacher is supposed to mark it, then I finish it and then send it in again. I have more questions to do and another essay then I'm done the course...

Erti · Apr 14, 2019 at 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I think it's very bad and impossible to fix and needs a lot of work. Although interesting to read. Kind of has psychotic ideas in there.. I need to take an English class in the fall cuz it teaches basic things.

Edit: This is an essay where the teacher is supposed to mark it, then I finish it and then send it in again. I have more questions to do and another essay then I'm done the course...

I'm surprise they didn't make you take a basic English course before taking more advance classes. When i was in college they MADE us take English classes before entering classes that we need towards our degree.

I see...

Desoxyn · Apr 15, 2019 at 12:02 AM

All they needed was high school grade 12 English. But I forget. I need more experience in school...

My goal is to get off of disability and have a career that I like which pays decent money...

But honestly I don't even know what I'm doing. I was dealt a bad card but it wasn't such a bad card.. I don't have PTSD from what has happened even though things really messed with my head.

This is the best time for me to be living in. 2019. I can read books, take in so much information and use it to my advantage.. just I need to figure out how to stop the negative symptoms and laying in bed. I don't know why I do that and can't just DO THINGS. Maybe I'm not inspired enough and need 2 be medicated more

Desoxyn · Apr 15, 2019 at 12:03 AM

But no no more medication.. I meditate sometimes..

The soldiers in my head say I'm not trying hard enough and never will and must dieeeeee

Erti · Apr 15, 2019 at 12:14 AM

ignore those soldiers... they were trolling you. sometimes bad things happen to good people... doesn't mean they deserve it but it's a life lesson to empower us for our future for even more challenges until we die. life is a roller coaster. I didn't expect to be in the hospital again after a month but hell i guess that's what i get for listening to the spirits and cutting myself.

Hecate talks to me... the mother of darkness. mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us soul and flight

Desoxyn · Apr 15, 2019 at 01:30 AM

Took vyvanse in the evening to do essay and shouldn't have so I took a benzo cuz panic

Taking my meds as prescribed is getting easier with time though..

Took seroquel.. I just think to myself when panicking, "What are you doing? What am i doing? What are you doing at this particular moment?"

Anxiety is worse than psychosis..

Erti · Apr 15, 2019 at 01:30 AM

Not quite sure what to think about this conversation...

Celery Σ: And that is the most important thing but you especially need just the right person to help take care of you
Jessica: i can take care of myself... i just want someone who i can express my love to.
Celery Σ: You say that but you just told me you cut yourself. You have a disability and you need someone who understands how delicate you are.

Blue_Bird · Apr 15, 2019 at 04:03 AM

Slept about 4 hours, seem to not need much sleep lately

Blue_Bird · Apr 15, 2019 at 04:18 AM

Time to go buy ice cream since a good flavor is on sale!

Findingreason · Apr 15, 2019 at 04:32 AM

I’m a crash course path to destruction I think....just thinking out loud and honestly....

Erti · Apr 15, 2019 at 05:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Findingreason

I’m a crash course path to destruction I think....just thinking out loud and honestly....

I'm sorry i can't be of much help because i'm too in a bad place at the moment. Write your feelings down to pass time while in the hospital.

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,016 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,923 hugs given	Apr 14, 2019 at 10:01 PM #446 I'm up to 1000 words on my essay. I just wrote nonsense because I don't feel like reading about shamanism right now. I have 300 more words to go but might just hand it in with 4 paragraphs at 1000. I'm completely exhausted mentally.
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,016 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,923 hugs given	Apr 15, 2019 at 12:03 AM #453 But no no more medication.. I meditate sometimes.. The soldiers in my head say I'm not trying hard enough and never will and must dieeeeee
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,016 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,923 hugs given	Apr 15, 2019 at 01:30 AM #455 Took vyvanse in the evening to do essay and shouldn't have so I took a benzo cuz panic Taking my meds as prescribed is getting easier with time though.. Took seroquel.. I just think to myself when panicking, "What are you doing? What am i doing? What are you doing at this particular moment?" Anxiety is worse than psychosis..
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,832 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Apr 15, 2019 at 04:03 AM #457 Slept about 4 hours, seem to not need much sleep lately __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,832 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Apr 15, 2019 at 04:18 AM #458 Time to go buy ice cream since a good flavor is on sale! __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Findingreason Resident Queer Girl Chat Moderator Member Since Dec 2016 Location: Finland Posts: 3,190 7 4,864 hugs given	Apr 15, 2019 at 04:32 AM #459 I’m a crash course path to destruction I think....just thinking out loud and honestly....
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