Roll Call: 146

Haha...that’s cute.
My dogs would do anything for.....freaking ice cubes!
They are SO easy to please.
Henry does have an affinity for paper towels though. He will swipe them from anywhere.

I can’t stand aerosol sprays. Debrecen, Lysol, etc. they all screw with my sinuses.

Speaking of pets, look at Annie's floofy cotton candy belly

How long have you had your kitties Blue_Bird?

I've had Annie since she was a baby, almost 7 years. Kitten I got when she was about 4 years old , she's 10 now so I've had her for about 6 years

Hey everyone. How are things going today?

I’m okay. Doctor didn’t see me today either. So another boring day at the ward....14 days tomorrow. I believe I have reached enlightenment with myself and others. I see that our lives is just a computer simulation. When one ends another begins...its an interesting cycle. Or maybe I’m ill idk lol.

I slept all day yesterday. Missed meals and vapes. I don't know why - because of lack of Advair? I don't know.

I'm lonely lately and feel untrusted. I'd rather be home with Star Trek and my vapes.

I feel off today.
Kinda short fused
A little angry
Somewhat irritated
Like I’m a huge blister getting rubbed by a shoe
I think it was the commentary on my son. I don’t deal well with judgement.
Idk just off.

My mom's dog likes to get dirty socks for some reason. We find them stashed around the house. But she doesn't do it with clean ones for some reason. HUGS Kit

Feeling bad today. Kind of sui. Not sure where this is coming from. T seemed to think my meds needed to be adjusted, but we just did that. IDK, maybe she's right. Had some hallucinations this morning and last night. I let my mom's dog sleep with me since my parents are at my sisters. It helped having her in the room. Plus once I fell asleep I didn't even feel her there. It was like only this morning when I was waking up that I was aware of her being there. She's a good dog. She's 10 almost 11. HUGS Kit

That sounds delusional to me tbh.

Sorry to hear Kit.
I hope you’re feeling better soon.

It’s so fascinating, a reality of such. I don’t think I am delusional. I am all knowing of these things.

Working on a kind of Zentangle drawing

Crap. Why is my mind teetering back and forth? I keep getting insight and losing it. This is a living hell. I hope to see the doctor tomorrow. I need to tell a nurse tonight about this. It’s so painful.

Okay the nurse is writing me in to see the pdoc tomorrow. She thinks I’m still psychotic based off what I told her. I told her how painful it is to keep having insight and it taken away. It’s hell.

HUGS Findingreason

Bf and i had breakfast at taco bell. Then went to game stop. Then Walmart. Then petco to get the dogs a toy!

Oh! We also saw some baby gerbils. The mom had given birth. No pics tho sorry. I always tend to not take pics on my outings. I just have fun living life.

I hate being so agitated

Its weird i take tons of pics at home when im bored but not when im out having fun.

@newtus that's how I am too.

Phew...feeling SO much better. My Henry checked out at the vet. I had basically convinced myself that they were going to tell me he had cancer. Like so convinced I took an Ativan and had my son drive because i was shaking. Idk why I do these things to myself. He’s not been sick or anything but my head starts going a million miles an hour and I can’t stop thinking abt the things I love most getting ripped away by death.
They said there is nothing preventative I can do for his hind end. Just kinda have to wait until he exhibits symptoms and then treat him. That doesn’t really sit well with me so I’m consulting a couple dog crazies I know, love and above all trust. They both have had extensive experience w/elder larger dogs. I sadly don’t know enough about supplements and such on my own. The last senior dog I had was teeny tiny so no back end issues. Before that was my mom’s dog that we took over and she was already being treated w/glucosamine and chondriten (sp?). And a prescription med for pain and stiffness. It wasn’t until she almost died that I started learning about dog nutrition and health. I didn’t know enough to question what I was shoving down my dogs throat or why. I just did what I was told.
Anyway...Tomorrow I get the results of his blood tests.
Roko goes in 2 weeks. Ugh.

When you are shaking like that, is it possible to function or be content and think about good things that you're being taken care of and safe?

The most I was shaking was when my heart was beating too fast after starting Prozac. That was when I was like 16-17. My mom drove me to the hospital and I was shaking like crazy in the car. I was up for 3 days.

They gave me a clonazepam and I melted into bed and woke up so relieved.

But that type of panic I could function idk... I'm just trying to distinguish actual panic attacks from psychedelic flashbacks (Which are much worse as if I'm completely mentally retarded)..

Prayed the Rosary with some scented wax melting and also read a bit