Roll Call 151

I just read that it's illegal to be intoxicated in Texas while boating.

It seems like fiance cant do anything sober. He has to be high for everything. I never understood that. Hes high from morning til bedtime.

He thinks I'm not a fun person cuz I dont do that stuff.

I wasnt raised that way. My parents dont smoke cigarettes or anything else, and honestly they both barely drink now.

I've offered him to do lots of things with me while we've been here but he just thinks things I do are not fun cuz they dont involve pot or whatever.

I dont understand why people cant have simple fun. And why people cant be sober. Idk.

I really dont know.

I got onto him this morning because I told him he never really follows safety or laws. Like my 3 examples to him were, how he sometimes doesnt wear his seatbelts, this boat thing (apparently him and his brother is gonna be smoking pot and NOT wearing lifejackets, with their mom sitting in the back of the boat so they are putting her in danger too even tho she doesnt smoke anything), and how he didnt want to renew his license because it was too expensive and didnt have time (when he had gotten stopped for speeding a month earlier) and I had to renew it on his behalf AND pay for it...

I swear to god man.

Ok Newtus my two cents....some people are ok with alcohol some are ok with pot and some more than that none is inherently wrong although I disagree with all three. Typically on vacation there’s a fair amount of substance use....there just is. A someone who doesn’t drink maybe I’ll have one drink max but I can guarantee my family was drinking even before driving a boat, even with kids on board it’s not as complex as a car on remote lakes. Now we are talking 1-2 drinks not intoxicated for the men. If it bothers you don’t do it but personally I think you should consider going even if you’ll be on shore because it’s fun watching the action on the lake.

yeah it's like this non-stop hunger, zyprexa's reputation is right.

I guess what I’m trying to say is have fun in whatever way you feel suits you but don’t judge how others are going to have fun even if it includes drugs, you don’t have to participate but I would not expect them to change.

I mean I'll consider going but 2 things they will be smoking pot while boating and that's illegal in texas. I wouldnt care if they smoked or drank in the cabin but not something that is illegal. I always hear every summer of some people dying on the lakes around here due to alcohol. Ok not pot but idk.

And he said if I was just gonna stay in the cabin I shouldn't go. But idk if he was mad. Idk.

Isn’t smoking pot illegal there anyway.?

Yes that too!

What I mean is the technical law is it's illegal to be Intoxicated in texas while boating.

Update #3 on online dating:
I messaged 3 women back today. I think I'm batting out of my league for the 42 year old, but we'll see I guess! I think she's a visual arts professor/teacher. However, the first thing she said she was on her profile is a poet. So that should be interesting. Also, I hope none of them will give me a bad mark because I sent them messages while the democratic debate was going on here in Michigan. I'll listen to the entire thing on a podcast at work. I have one more woman to message but I'm kind of iffy about it because what if all of these women want to hang out with me Saturday and/or sunday? O first world problems! It's crazy how they all contacted me on the same day, and for the past couple of days it's a dead zone.

Good luck with the dating @Day Tripper 3 women in one day! Sounds like you're doing pretty well.

Sounds awesome, go DT!

It's ok to have 1-2 beers while boating. Smoke a little weeeeed.

Enjoy life with chemicals. Because all we are, is chemicals. Love, eating food, looking at scenery, all chemical reactions in the brain.

I woke up at 5pm. Too late to take vyvanse so I'm tired af. But I'm going for a 5 hour hike tomorrow so I'm waking up at 9am.

But it's like I feel I dont necessarily NEED intoxicants or narcotics, because I can literally enter an alternate universe cuz my of psychosis. And I've trained myself to do so even without psychosis. I can be sober and fckn crazy. People wanna be high or drunk or whatever. I get drunk to CALM down the ****ing crazy thoughts. People fckn get high to get those thoughts.

Some people are crazy and they still take drugs. And what about those poor people that need drugs, while you, naturally on the drug??

Jk with you newtus <3

Music is a good drug. Music is a psychedelic!

Idk it's crazy. Honestly, I feel not good to be able to be psychotic without anything. That's what sucks.

I wish I could take a 4 hour lasting dexedrine so I can stay awake but doctor doesn't want me prescribed it with vyvanse

So now I sleep..

I get it. It would take me an entire year to drink a case of beer. I had a 5th of absolut vodka in my freezer for 2 years until I gave it away. However, what I discovered because of my illness, is that I didn't need any of that because I was living in a mixed state my entire life. It's only now that I yearn to feel some semblance of what I could feel back then instead of this emotional void that only gives me a sliver of emotional feeling only by way of 4 beers. What's it feel like to be your fiancé? He probably can't even tell you accurately because he's like a fish in water, unable to tell you that it is wet because it's been a condition given since birth.

Do y'all ever feel like it's stupid to believe the voices but still believe them? I feel like that doesn't make sense, but I don't know how else to word it...

Omg naaap naaaaap naaaaaaaap!

I couldn't fall asleep tonight. I tried everything. Hopefully the Trileptal will work. My doctor said add another 600 mg pill every 5 days until I problem is resolved. Next time I see her i'm going to make a plan to get off 100mgs of Seroquel, maybe even lower my dopamine to 120 mgs instead of 160mgs because what it does to the brain's grey matter.

Good morning, getting myself back in a normal sleep routine. Was able to get myself up at 7:30 today. Plan on taking some walks later to deal with my anxiety about leaving my apartment I've had lately.

Morning

I guess I am gonna go camping. But I'm definitely wearing a lifejacket. Idk. If the boat turns over then I probably wont do this again.