Roll Call 156

So I got to the house and did a scan for my red lunchbox (not a sexual innuendo), and it wasn't there. I then go to the van during lunch, and BOOM! It's right where I swore I left it, right in front of me --in plain sight-- when you open the back door. I SWEAR I looked there a dozen times, and that's why I was so frustrated. I even thought someone was ****ing with me.

I have no idea what happened. I'm floored! I turned that van UPSIDE DOWN!

That happens to me sometimes. In most cases it turns out I've completely skipped over it because I was an anxious mess.

I want to cut my hair short again. I'm not gonna do it tho until I've lost a certain amount of weight. Cuz I feel I dont look good being big with short hair. I just dont like the way I look with all that. Makes me feel ugly.

So maybe I will try to lose like 40 or 50 pounds and then cut it. Hopefully my usual hairstylist will still be in business by then. Yes I feel like its gonna take ages to lose the weight, and i havent been to see him already for 3 years now or so cuz i grew it out.

Just did basically nothing today, didn't go to my writing workshop, didn't do a thing except eat lunch out of the house and make a song. I guess I did some things. I always get extremely anxious after making music though. I guess it's just creative anxiety. But I always think I am made for making music, and that's when things start to go downhill. Then I think I must make music for a living, etc.

That's a smart move. I asked my therapist and he told me to wait a few years into a relationship before I give her my Dx.

People hear "Schizophrenia" and it just seems like their heads do a complete 360.

Ok let’s look at this the positive way....it’s the best case scenario in that you didn’t get caught right....but I’m wondering if you might take this as a message from the universe?

That's interesting. A few years is wayyy to long for me to wait. Even a year would be long overdue. Max I'd wait 6 months. I told my fiance when I met him tho, 1 month in. Because by 27 years old I wanted to find someone who wanted to settle down. After I broke up for good with my ex, I was like "the next guy, I'm not gonna play around or anything, I'm looking for a husband now". Fiance at the time happened to message me through mutual friends on facebook. We went to high school together so we know some mutual friends. A lot actually. And i told him like 2 months in, "I'm looking for a husband not just any kind of relationship." And he said he was looking for a serious relationship.

And here we are...

Hello and welcome to roll call....seeing your location I have to ask if you’re a Messi fan?
Sorry about your anxiety....

I had trouble explaining my first panic attack as well. The ER dr asked me if I had depression or a panic attack and I told him I don't know, I feel really depressed and my heart is pounding. I've never had one before. Then he gave me some kind of benzo prescription, which I had to drive 10 miles for or else sleep in the ER.

For dating I use a different approach, I usually tell them something about my mental health within three dates because they will be part of my inner circle and I want them to know the real me.....but to be fair I’m largely asymptotic these days so for friends and coworkers I just don’t mention it so much.....I have you guys to talk with if anything comes up.

I'm an expat living abroad but I don't mind Messi... Haha.

Lol that’s cool.....I’m guessing your weather is a lot better than it is here right now.

Yeah... I never bring my lunchbox inside a house. I always eat in the van or at the boss's, mostly in the van--but it was literally freezing and the van has no heat

I get the message... but I feel nothing the entire day... and it wears on me heavily, it it's what I look forward to the entire day. 3 beers doesn't get me hammered, it just makes me feel a bit more pleasant, and then I get more productive.

Co workers smoke pot, which I don't, co workers smoke cigs, which I don't. My boss says he's totally cool with it. And he respects that I have lunch in the car. People around me are known to have a deuce at lunch too. My boss, when at a restaurant will order a couple pints himself.

I would go out with him and the others but 2 pints at a restaurant, plus tip is a huge waste of money. My lunches cost me $5 bucks. Plus restaurants in ann arbor are crazy expensive.

I haven't been having paranoia about being poisoned

Oh well I mean I’m thinking if your boss is ok with it then why were you worried. The clients are like a one shot deal I wouldn’t worry if they find out. I was just worried you’d lose the job which would majorly suck. Yeah A2 has become super trendy=expensive.

That’s good news 😀

One of my cats made a nest in my winter coat lol

Someone posted that meds for GERD cause cancer. Idk what to think of that because from what I understand silent gerd (what I have) if untreated could eventually lead to things like esophageal cancer anyway

Maybe it would be better to go about getting rid/lessening the symptoms naturally. I'm not sure

I hope your GP appointment went okay @SlumberKitty

I ve never heard of them causing cancer....I mean they are over the counter...the bf takes nexium generic. I think GERD untreated can lead to Barrett’s esophagus which some docs think leads to cancer. If you’re worried I would consider the source of the info and realize your can ask your doc who has medical training.

I was worried about her but she posted in the therapy section....

Thanks, I'll see what they say tomorrow. All the years of bulimia really screwed up my digestive system. I was doing good on zantac but of course it got recalled. Maybe they can have me try prilosec or something

My mom only has hers at night so she got an adjustable bed but the same can be accomplished with a triangle foam pillow. It’s also possible to avoid certain foods.

Yeah i wrote a list the other day after researching foods to avoid and foods that are good. I'm trying to make some changes in my diet to help with it