Roll Call 156

new story is now 13 pages long now. I have a rough ending for it that kept on changing. I wrote 2 endings, and think I'll go with the slightly more positive one. By the time I end the story, and format it the right way it will probably be about 40 pages long.

My first book was more about education, and I made just about every mistake an amateur writer can make, including not knowing my limits. I think all the quotes were overwhelming too. Story kind of came second where education was first. Still, it was my first book and I completed it, even though I released it in May and wasn't finished until October... I'm questioning whether I should even complete Part II that concludes the story...

This short story hardly took any effort at all, it all just naturally springs from my mind. I think I will publish this short story for as cheap of a price as possible, costing nothing if possible. Can I release it on Kindle for free? In book format I will sell it as cheaply as possible, I think that's is for $5 bucks. I will also publish it on my blog. I think this is more poignant than the other, and I just want people to give it a chance. I think this one may be harder to put down.

I do the same thing with sleeping. I want to accomplish so much with my time and I end up staying up extremely late to get things done. I like staying up later than I do getting up early. But sometimes I do both.

I also know that sleep is good for me. Or so the doctors say. And the doctors are usually right. But sometimes I feel like distrusting science.

Sometimes I feel like science has accomplished so much, but aren't we missing the point sometimes with it?

Science cannot provide happiness, cannot provide love, along with a lot of base emotions that we need.

I don't know how I got on that scientific thread of thought, but I did.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for today...

Finished a book and vacuumed. Enjoying the day. I wrote down a bunch of my goals. My appetite has gone back to normal. It seems whenever the abilify is increased I get extremely hungry for a week or so then it levels out.

Have the Yule log playing

Going through my books to find one I want to read (along side the other one I'm reading). I've bought so many over the years.

I wanted to stock up on ice cream from the sale because they had a few kinds I love, but they didn't have the chocolate chip cookie dough one left since it's the last day of the weekly sale so I got stargazer (the milky way one)

I really miss being in my own place with bags of chips and candy and coffee and teas. I wonder if they raised my ap without telling me. I have tea and instant coffee here but I need dish soap to wash out my mug. It got contaminated from the sink in my apartment.

Charging my headphones so I can call my mother. I left a message on Friday or Thursday but she didn't call back.

What was your favorite Christmas or Festivus gift when you were a kid? For me I think it was probably my microscope set when I was 9 or 10.

Oh man my mom just scared the outta me. We were taking on the phone, said our goodbye, hung up, done. Then she called right back but said nothing for like 30 seconds. She’s been having extremely low blood pressure, I was afraid she’d passed out. Then I texted my sis to see if she was on two calls or something nope. Finally she called back and was fine but thought she was calling my sis, still makes no sense she wasn’t talking maybe she butt dialed idk but luckily she’s fine.

One year I got a bunch of crystal growing stuff, that was fun....also my little ponies and their castle.

Oh I would have loved the crystal growing set!

When I was little I wanted a jean jacket more than anything lol 😂 I got it and was so shocked because I didn't remember telling my mom or anybody that I wanted one so I thought santa had brought it. I have a picture of me in it on Facebook. I was like 5 or 6

I loved (and still do) anything Pokemon so I always got a lot of stuff related to that

Well that's another lost point for me wanting my mom to take chemo.. if she gets low blood pressure, her heart could stop..

I'm glad your mom is ok

Every Christmas Eve my mom would let me have one gift to open

Watching the cowboys game over at Dustin's house. Got my pokemon game. Canceled the amazon one and my mom gave me money to buy it. I'll give her the refund money for the other one. I wouldve had to wait another few days.

Yea I always got pokemon stuff. But my biggest surprise ever? Hm. Probably idk...cuz I literally got everything I wanted every year. Even til now. Phones, game systems, bikes, toys, high end jewelry like Chanel and dolce and Gabbana and Versace, expensive shoes, etc

So idk my favorite gift ever.

I'm a minimalist

I am a bit of a minimalist now too tho.

I know I desperately wanted out of my dads because he is a hoarder quite a bit. But not extreme. But theres a couple of rooms you have to pinch through in his house.

But I went over to my moms today. And it's bad enough, but man...there was clothes on the bed almost to the ceiling. All kinds of stuff all over the kitchen counter. She said she was cleaning up for the holidays. I left her house with 2 bags full of random stuff. Like paper cups, paper bags, cooking utensils, mugs, etc. I did say I needed some tho. Dustin broke one mug and xena, the other. And I have no idea what happened to the third mug. It was all a set. Now we only have one.

My apt, since theres more room, is pretty darn minimal. Theres 3 closets/storage spaces that are completely empty. We just dont have a lot of stuff. And I dont plan to either.

Thinking about freezing half the half cake I’ve got left....I really want to make the gingerbread polar bears sooner rather than later....

Make them sooner! Treat Yo Self!

I want to buy a flute.. I know.. laugh.. But I want to play Irish music XD

My moms friend (Crazy one.. Like crazy in a good way) she's from Newfoundland. I want to get us all to visit there and eat lobster and seafood.

It's kind of like Ireland. Then we'll go to Ireland..

I think that sounds fun 😀

It's been a good productive day

You should, Irish music is the best!

I'm gonna see about getting a part time job tomorrow. I'll also phone my therapist to make an appointment. Not sure what to talk about.. Mostly my moms cancer and getting a job, clarify that I'm not doubting schizophrenia but did for a second cuz I want badly to be better and not have it etc...

My dad is going back to Mexico to work. I might be going with my sister soon and possibly my mom to come visit him in Mexico - If not, in the Spring.

I have a lot of things to do but not much on my mind. I'm not emotional or angry over anything and I'd prefer to be.