Roll Call 158!

I don't know why I didn't think of that lol I just tried to split one of the pills though and can't, I don't have a pill cutter to do it properly so I guess I'll just take one 200mg tablet in the mornings.

Edit: Nevermind, I'll just wait till I see my doctor on the 9th. I don't want to end up taking too much or something

Lies!!

No jk lol

I hope it will work out well for you. My friend said Wellbutrin was the only ad that ever worked well for him.

You had to do it, lmao

My body is just exhausted and I don't know why. I missed spending time with my friend today because the nursing home scheduled me for stupid stuff (like making my bed). Hopefully I'll get to see him several more times before he goes back.

I took an Ativan because I felt better the other night when I did. I do feel better but I want to take a tiz too. That would be a good combo and I have Benadryl too, although it doesn't have much of its own affect compared to the antihistamine I can't remember the name of. I could take half a tiz and a Benadryl and I think I'd have a much nicer evening. Have to wait until after they bring my nighttime meds.

Oh, my headphones are charged. I forgot. I hope they don't wait until like 10:30pm to bring the meds. Maybe I should go haunt the nurse to get them sooner.

6 months without ciggies! ;D

I'm on the 10th floor.

I got my short story back from my editor. He did a good job at seeing the weaknesses, an gave me some of my strengths. three things stood out the most, one of them being concerning.

So a lot of it is based on the concept of the "Other" and I purposely didn't gender it because I wanted to be pure without judgment, but that made my editor feel like it was awkward, but I used language as "Man", "Mankind" everywhere which gendered humanity unexpectedly. So I feel that was sexist. Is it sexist to use the term "mankind" and "Man" when referring to our entre human collective? When I referred "God" I used non binary terms such as "they" and "them", and even "it" I dont mean to gender humanity, it's just how I've always written like that and of course I mean to include women in mankind... What do you guys think?

Would it sound awkward to use human and humankind in the context of the story? Or would "the people" sound better with the story? I understand not wanting to gender humanity. I think if you aren't going to gender "the other" or God, humanity shouldn't be gendered either.

Use mankind. I'm not sexist but I agree with bigoted people cuz that's my personality. I like to talk with them to make friends. That's why people love me. Opinions shouldn't determine friendship. Mankind sounds masculine and the man is supposed to save the woman (Mother nature) and females can too but yeah.

But God should be "they" etc.. cuz no one likes the word God now a days. It sounds psychotic and cultish in a rolled eyes type of way. He does exist depending on how you look at it and decide to believe but whatever not everyone believes him so people should respect an atheist beliefs too.

- Social genius pantheist (Atheist and theist of infinite gods at the same time).

This is my most controversial...

Even himself presses, *ignore*

Schizophrenia chances increase 50 fold with



When I was a kid, I was way too smart. My IQ must have been way higher than average for just a kid.

I remember making a bowl of cereal and my parents said "We're going upstairs to sleep" in the middle of the day. I could hear them. Theres been many really disturbing instances like that. They thought I was stupid. And not only that, I knew they knew that they thought that I was stupid and I knew I was supposed to be too stupid to know. I knew that I was just a little kid (Like a few years old). I felt psychotic in those moments. It's probably why I'm asexual.

It's nothing like what has happened to most people with that type of trauma but I had terrible OCD as a kid so it replayed in my mind over and over.

Now I know that's completely normal. But I didn't know that when it happened. I thought I was solipsistic and I was the only one in the universe and I was God. That's kind of why I hate God. Because he was me.

I realize what faith actually is. It's just faith. So people shouldn't respect an atheist beliefs because that's just how it's supposed to be.

My mom has cancer. I quit smoking. My grandfather died of lung cancer and didn't even smoke so somewhere, wherever he is, he's happy that I did that.

I know some people say you'll leave your body behind when they go to the afterlife and they'll be an orb of energy and love or some crap but I just "think" I'll be in heaven with my friends and family. I know that sounds delusional but what isn't a delusion?

What the **** isn't a delusion? What is reality? Reality is, *GONG*... the sound of a gong bell...!!!

I'm glad I don't have a genius IQ if it means being molded to this current reality where God doesn't exist, where there's no set of attitudes, beliefs pertaining to supernatural power, whether that power be forces, gods, spirits, ghosts, or demons exist.

Stephen hawking had an IQ of 200+ and didn't believe in God. But he didn't trip balls like I did. Neither did I until then. I think about him a lot and he has a little to do with my psychosis so maybe I'll see him in MY afterlife, where we all have our own 99.9999 etc % of afterlives almost an infinite amount times until the 100th percent of infinity (God himself which becomes infinity, which becomes God, which becomes infinity and it keeps going up and up and up until BOOM - The Big Bang Theory - Which ends up being disproven, even SO, And the egotistical people and narcissists one upping themselves and the good people one upping others, the buddhist monks making a man realize that he's the master until the man realizes he's the fool and then until he realizes that the master is the fool and the man is the master, the shamans using the powers to heal, - all of it..), where we all connect to become each other and become one where my afterlife is the real one, and so is everyone else's.

I know this sounds a little psychotic but idk what isn't psychotic in this world.

I'm not afraid of losing my IQ from the antipsychotics. Because it doesn't matter. Sure, I could have become rich (With the IQ I had when I was a kid). I still can do anything and wherever life takes me, I'll accept it.

Lol I didn't think I'd make my daily or weekly or whatever interesting post about my mental illness but I was horribly wrong!!!

All the ****ing music. Musicians are beautiful. WHY not listen to them? Like artists.. We love them. They know..

They.. know....

@Desoxyn, about your spiritual thoughts (faith, God, hereafter, etc.), you are not delusional. You are a deeeeep thinker. All those things you said, soooo interesting! And about IQ, they only measure certain things. They aren't measuring this thing that you have, something more valuable. Thank you for sharing!

Good morning, everyone! I'm new here, so I'm trying to get the hang of how this board works. Been taking the tests on this site that simply confirm all my disgnoses and add one more that I've suspected for awhile... Autism Spectrum Disorder. Still need to have it diagnosed by the doctor, and not going to do anythi h about it anyway as I've been coping with it for, say, 55 years.

Hugs to everyone! Have a great day! ❤️

Your writing really reminds me of something I went through not too long ago. It was over Thanksgiving week this past November, and I’m still not sure what in the actual **** happened. It didn’t last long, but I haven’t been the same since. I’m not sure what caused any of it.

I think that in a sense, you’re right, we’re all “crazy”. What isn’t some kind of entirely subjective and thus impossible mere perception of reality instead of reality? None of us really know, so really we’re all out of touch with reality in some form or another.

Maybe that’s why I’m the way I am, I’m a musician.

Ready for the new year!

Yes hoping the new year is a step forward for all of us

I'm nervous about my appointment at the apartment place Monday. Excited but nervous. It will be amazing to be able to move into a new place. It's much nicer and a lot easier for me financially. You're 100% independent there but the manager keeps in touch with your doctor, therapist and case manager and meets with you once or twice a month to help keep you on track and help with achieving goals and whatnot.

That sounds like an awesome place for you bluebird 😀