Roll Call 158!

It's likely. I Googled "How long does it take for olanzepine to kick in?" and it says "6 weeks" and I thought wtf? so I then thought I was smarter than Google by Googling "How long does it take for olanzepine to kick in for sleep?" and it says "2 weeks". Wtf? They give olanzepine in the psych ward to everyone to calm them down. I think they said 20-40 minutes Idk.

It's like the government is controlling google searches so I don't know to mess with me.. idk..

I'm so frustrated about my cognition. First it was depression. Now I'm not depressed anymore. I want to be limitless and achieve great things with grandiose delusions and mania.

Idk..

My cognition feels better but now I feel like an ESTJ.

I love you all...

The depression I've had the past few weeks is basically just a crash from the mania I was experiencing for several months, that's what my doctor said. Which makes sense looking back. Things seem to be starting to level out though, just taking it one day at a time , today was better much better than the last few weeks were, so that's a start

My mom says that when I'm a little psychotic or have interesting thoughts and talk about them, I seem manic. It could be because of the phenibut - That's what I think.

I just get excited by my thoughts really bad. I love my thoughts....

I hope you feel better soon <3 May your life be a constant hypomania!

I talked to my therapist last time I saw him about going inpatient, I said I didn't need to go because I was doing fine. I kinda lied, I'm debating going inpatient again.

I’m watching a sci Fi movie

You can't just name drop my favorite genre without telling me which one.

I was dying laughing at my friend's facebook post of someone's mean uncle dressed up in a santa outfit with a grinch mask. I haven't laughed that hard in a loooong time! I shared it with my sister.

That's awesome. I love it when people care enough about me to send me cards, let alone a Christmas tree!

Updated my mental health symptom chart for my computer (I'm so intuitive that I can guess these moods and symptoms to a 5% accuracy (Like 4.5 for example instead of 4 or 5 out of 10).

MH SYMPTOM CHART

2020

A Mood
B Anxiety
C Agitation
D Paranoia
E Delusions
F Visual H
G Visual H
H Imagination
I Creativity
J Panic attack
K Motivation
L Focus
M Hyperactivity/Mania
N Tiredness
O Hours of sleep
P Anhedonia

AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K(), L(), M(), N(), O(), P()

Meds taken

A Invega Sustenna 150mg
B Vyvanse 50mg
C Atenolol 50mg
D Seroquel 50mg
E Olanzepine 5mg
F Fish oil 900mg
G Vitamin D
H Melatonin

Drugs taken

I Weed
J Phenibut
K Xanax

AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
AM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()
PM A (), B(), C(), D(), E(), F(), G(), H(), I(), J(), K()

That's a preeeeeeety big endorsement! Do you know what quality it has that he loves about it?

I agree with much of this. People measure just mathematical heuristics (if I can use that term) but not many philosophical heuristics, or not the heuristics that other people use that may not be quantifiable.

Also, what about morals and being just a good ****ing person? Right? Or what about ****ing life experience? As I reflect on everyone hear, you guys give good advice, and that's because we have life experiences that not many people can relate to.

How often do you use the phenibut? That's a funny name...

Maybe harness the phenibut when youre planning on being creative only, that way you can look forward to it and plan your day around it. I don't know, like, that's what I do with drinking because it's not really good, but at least I use it for a good cause, that's what I tell myself anyway.

I know.. I don't know what is wrong with me.. I'm obsessed with "IQ" like an autistic obsession.. cuz I'm afraid that it will lower due to the antipsychotic.. Then what will I have in life? Nothing! No jk.. But I completely understand that IQ is just putting blocks together like how I do math in my head.. And there's 99.99999999% many other things that makes up the human consciousness.. I know this..

I should just ignore the IQ thing like how I have to ignore the soldiers.. But I always end up talking about things that my ego is hurt by.. like the soldiers.. They really damaged my ego.. But I must ignore and forget.. It's just really traumatizing..

But I promise to myself that I won't talk about the things that damage my ego anymore cuz there's so much more greatness to me that can be come by from being humble and modest (That's when I really feel happy.. It's just the soldiers made me feel horrible.. worst I've ever felt since my psychologist/psych nurse got really mad when I ordered mdma, meth, coke, heroin, weed and etizolam in one order)..

Yes! That's why I'm thinking of withdrawing.. I use 1.5g a day for 2 weeks. I must lower it by 100mg every day until I get to zero.. Then use 2g whenever I want to feel intense content, intelligence and creativity of a God (I've been doing that for my hikes last summer and that's why everyone likes me.. I don't care because it's the real me...) I have 5 years worth of phenibut (Half kilo)..

Not sure...it’s not my cup of tea....I think it’s because he remembers seeing it with his nieces in theaters.......

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope all of your resolutions & wishes come true.

Thanks, hope you have a great new year as well!

I love the dress holy ****, that’s unique as **** and definitely one of those things where it’s like, not many people can pull off that look lol but you definitely do! Awesome

Oh thanks. I personally dont think it looks good on me at the moment. Thank god I'm losing weight. But this vacation food doesnt help.

I hear you, I’m way heavier than I want to be right now too. It’s annoying because yep clothes don’t fit right. For what it’s worth though you look great

hope you feel better soon

I would hate being an editor. It's torture. Think about being one not just for novels but for philosophy! You'd read ****** ideas all day, and pick apart punctuation, and give people days of work to set things in order.

Anyways, I went ahead and stopped using the term man and mankind, and replaced it with human, humanity, and humankind. My editor said he was on the fence about my use of the gender for all of us as a collective, and it was only right after I thought about it. I wouldn't gender God or my use of the term "Other", so to use man as a collective would be to taint my work. I wish there was a better term than humanity, it just doesn't have much of a punch, just seems generic to me.