Roll Call 158!

Sorry didn’t mean to sound rude towards you. Sometimes you have to. If I had kids it would be different. I’ve gone without a few times because I refuse to do so. I did rely on my mom a lot when I was with her.

It's okay, I understand. yeah I've gone without many times but the last time I wouldn't ask for help for like a week and a half because I was too ashamed and I ended up in the ER with chest pain and severe dehydration/electrolyte problems and on IV fluids from not eating. I know it's pretty stupid to have let it go on that far but I did and I wasn't aware that there were food pantries then. The one I usually use is closed this month so I'm kind of screwed till January

Yeah and even food pantries can be good. I find that fruit that’s not in a can or cup like apples tend to taste soft and gross. I went to one while I was at my dads before he refused to go to the pantry and we were **** out of food for a few days. Yeah he eventually pond his precious tv to get McDonald’s from the dollar menu.

I never had that common sense.. but it makes common sense..

I would never do anything to harm my baby tho

I can’t believe they would close at Christmas...that’s terrible....

Well common sense isn’t so common now n days really. There’s times when I hadn’t thought things through and got my *** into trouble for stupid things. Sometimes people lack more than others. It doesn’t mean they’re unintelligent. Just means they’ve chose for today and not tomorrow’s satisfaction.

Yeah but addiction sometimes overpower everything and you don’t give a **** about anyone else. Even your own flesh and blood.

Chemicals have always been my happy place.. I've never really had a real happy place.. =[

No jk lol..

But in my heart they seem to be like a gf or bf. I'm in a relationship with them. Like Alexander Shulgins book "Tryptamines/Phenylalamines I have known and loved" - A cemical love story" with his wife - I've yet to read the books.

But I suppose in the future I'll find gf/bf that is a pharmacologist like I will be???

I'm taking this out of context and a little technical, and really philosophical... but... Even caterpillars have common sense.

It's how they march across a thousand leaves to find the right one for its diet.

Okay, im going back to being a recluse again...

I don't have the common sense of a caterpillar!!

I think I'm depressed. I sit in the dark most of the days and sleep mostly and can't seem to get basic things taken care of like cleaning and whatnot. My mind keeps going to negative places which is really unusual for me. I'm trying to be positive though

Take all the time you need to get into a better mood and all the things you need to do.

Happy belated winter solstice! Be happy and of good cheer because now the days will get longer again! My friend is here for two weeks. I'm still blue but hopefully I'll just be able to have fun. I am going to beg my friend to take me to a bar and let me have two drinks. Thank God I can get away from this place for a couple of hours.

My coil is burnt and I can't taste the juice I opened (one from the store here). I'm really angry because one of my new bottles from Vapewild has vanished. And they hardly have anything anymore. And apparently someone stole my bag which held the Cleito tanks and coils. I'm sick to death of being robbed blind here. I want to go home.

This place is making me sick. I hope everyone is ok.

Yes! Winter solstice! It can only get brighter from here!

So I have a theory.. It's my deepest most intuitive one, possibly ever (Trump tone of voice) but in all seriousness..

I googled "Severed connection theory" where some things just don't exist because they ARE - Because someone must have already thought of it.. But it just shows up as "Split brain" hemispheres..

But I'll explain it like this..

Let's say that everything is divine.. and you reincarnate into everything possible inside and outside space and time.. So say a chair is sitting there with the consciousness of a pen in this same reality forever.. Wouldn't that be just something that I or anyone has thought of? So someone would have to sit there and think about a chair as a pen forever or they could be a chair that is a pen, trapped forever (Which would be the smallest amount of measurable time, unless the movement of the chair changes)..

But it's really hard to explain.. I haven't quite gotten the whole theory of what I'm trying to explain and it pops into my mind every once and a while.. But I'm hoping that, with time, I'll get a grasp of what this is.. Because there's things that don't exist forever because say, one second IS forever. Y'know what I mean?

In one reality, maybe there's 25 trillion people staring at a chair and thinking it's a pen.. Or a pen that is female.. etc.. For 6 million years..

The world is an endless possibilities but will eventually end anyways. Everything must come to an end. Life is limited but death is forever. Not knowing what happens after death is scary. I can see why people are so afraid of death. The inevitable and the unknown.

And then so we live! ;D

I was reading reddit and psychonauts (People that use psychedelics) were talking about having songs stuck in their heads.. One person said that he has aphantasia and only has his voice and can't visualize anything.. then I think about hyperphantasia or how I would always have a song stuck in my head before having a dissociative panic attack before I had them - When I was having them.. dissociative drugs are hallucinogens.. and I think about how I dont get songs stuck in my head anymore maybe because of the antipsychotic. It goes back to what I was saying in how antipsychotics decrease visualization or imagination.. and hallucinations... People that draw can have visualizations in their heads which makes them want to draw them out to get it out of their heads.. just like how playing the song that is stuck in your head on speakers or earbuds can get rid of the song.. That's why people with schizophrenia are so creative.. I think about how psychedelics could be a cure to aphantasia.. etc etc etc..

These are the types of racing thoughts that I have.. I want to draw and play music.. and I really need to pay attention to the news more.. all the things I have planned for myself, I can never do a little bit of all in one day..

And hallucinations could be a manifestation of imagination from the subconscious mind.

I'm able to generate some pretty cool songs that I've never heard before while under a hypnotic sleep-wake state after I wake up or go to sleep. There's a scientist that has narcolepsy and he comes up with his ideas when he has sleep attacks.. He wrote thousands of research papers.. I want to be him in my next life..

which I wonder can AIs start to develope thoughts and feelings. People seem to think so and well the world will be taken over by robots and enslave the human race and kill them all and develope more of their kind

I truly believe that AI's can be so advanced that they can develop emotions and a consciousness more capable of feeling a high state of love.

But they have to have rules programmed into them.. like laws.. in order to obey.. (Like what the government does with us).

Imagine if robots created us and they had a less developed consciousness but we weren't allowed to kill them? We would want to take over them..

Edit: lol I'm talking like a programmed AI..

Well now I guess I'm gonna sleep (Power off) for the night.. I hope no one unplugs me and takes my battery out..

I find robots interesting. Not the sex ones the Japanese seems to keep putting out. I find it pretty interesting. Can robots develope mental illness too?

If they are too I intelligent =P