Roll Call 166!

I've been on ssi since I was 22 years old. IDK is that how Texas cut out day is? I though Ohio is different? I has judt turned 22 years old when I ended up on ssi and such.

I get SSI (got on it when I was 18) but it's a lot easier to live off of now that I'm in supportive housing. Before it was horrible, my rent at my last place was $650 and electric usually about $100 so that left me with maybe $40 at the max to live off every month.

That's awesome, Newt. I'm glad you have that.

If you’ve worked before and are considered disabled at 22 or older, youll be on ssi.

I was a kid that only worked 2 weeks out of my life at the time. I had records going back since I was 13 that I was in and out of the hospital. So they dated it back and I was on ssdi. “Disabled before 22” rule only applies to ssdi. Not ssi.

Ssi is determined on an income based. Ssdi is determined based on hoe many quarters you’ve worked in your life (you need 40 quarters at the LEAST which is 5 years. Or you had to been disabled before 22 and not have worked). Had you had records showing u got diagnosed before 22 (can’t be ON 22) and whether u have worked or not, you can get ssdi from your parents income.

havent got my clozapine in the mail today. Hopefully I get it tomorrow. I have some for tonight. I'm still feeling paranoid. Very paranoid. I'm not looking for a fight. I'm just hurt... and no one understands my circumstance and what I'm going through. I'm angry... pissed... tired of people lying to me and acting like they care but they don't. Lies when people say they care. I try opening up and it bites me in the ***... it always ****ing does.

I was also dx with my mental illness before I was 22. then again I worked for 2 1/2 years before the age of 22.

Idk. I had solid back to back records (paper trail) of hospitalization from 17. Ssa bases it all off records.

I acctually get two checks on the first is 13 dollars and my other one is 790 dollars

I’m exhausted

Listening to scary stories

I had psychiatric history since I was 16 and diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 18. The psychiatrist must have diagnosed me so he could put me on disability so I could afford the Abilify injection at the time. Either way, I'm doomed with psychosis forever maybe - Whether it be triggered by stress - Cuz I'll always be stressed especially after my bad trip.

The bad trip was a blessing and a complete curse - Like schizophrenia itself - If you put it in perspective that you have to live with it and deal with it, overcome it for the rest of your life and the effects are apart of who you are - Just like anything else.. You can deny it and not let it define you but everything defines everyone if you want to get really deep into the nature of reality.

I have such trippy thoughts all day every day that Idk if I should even be posting here cuz you guys can get shared psychotic disorder from me - Then you think of the fact that you already have psychosis and also that everyone else knows what I know at least a little bit cuz I was so philosophically reclusive and avoidant.

My mom has been getting on my nerves but now I feel bad. She makes me feel bad because she sulks. She has histrionic personality disorder. I've been around her all day every day and I've had enough. I need my time alone to recharge from her drama. I don't think it's bad to hate my mom sometimes because of her personality when I'm not independent - Especially when she's drinking she's even more annoying. I love my mom but there's only so much I can take.

I've been having a lot of physical problems that bother me such as;



I told my sister everything in a text. She's going to tell everyone but I had no choice - I was backed into a corner. I'm COVID crazy right now.

I’m gonna discuss coming off the APs with my doctor next time we talk. I think I can do okay on just my mood stabilizer and ADs.

I’m not ok at all

It seems like every few months you go through this line of thinking and it doesn't turn out well. I do the same, it's frustrating

I’ve never actually been off APs since like 3 years ago, I’ve never given it a chance again.

I always chicken out and get scared of doing it. But I think it’s truly time.

Yeah I know but - I could be wrong - it seems like right around when you start questioning your AP's you seem to see a slight resurgence in symptoms. Of course I could be wrong and you know yourself way better than I do. But I know that me doubting my meds is usually an early sign of psychosis creeping up.

I definitely sympathize though I hate being on meds

What’s going on?

Gonna call my doc tomorrow and try to get an appointment

Usually it helps to have your doctor's support in going off of APs. I was able to get off of Zyprexa and am now taking half of the dosage as I was before of Abilify (I was on Zyprexa and Abilify and two ADs at once plus Klonopin at one point).

I think it's probably best to see what your doctor has to say... I know in the past for myself whenever I thought of going off of my meds it was kind of a red flag that something else was going on. Like the desire to go off of meds itself isn't bad, it's just acting on it that's bad (at least in my own case). I get really impulsive and that becomes problematic.

I love that, so much fun! I don't really have a single bag for everything I used to use, though, since my life became so chaotic in 2015. I kept using zip lock bags and the largest one that I used was too stuffed. I have other cuter bags but they're too small. Back in 2000 I had a small bag and just a few basic pieces in it. It was best back then. I bought so much makeup in the late 90s and 00s. I haven't bought any since around 2010.

What's up?

Actually, maybe I'll get back into doing my makeup here. My mother still does hers. Never too old if it's something you enjoy. I brought a few basic pieces here but I'm afraid of it getting stolen. Everything gets stolen here. My face wash which I loved was stolen. 3 brand new bottles of cleansers were stolen. I have a long list of stolen items. They pick the little locks on the top drawers of the dressers. Steal cash, all kinds of stuff.

Oh man just ate a hand delivered apple fritter from dunkin, it was so good with coffee.