Roll Call 169!!

Fiancé just sent me a long message and it doesn’t even sound like him. It sounds like a grown A S-S man telling his kid something. It scared me because I never seen him talk like that and I’m starting to think 2 things. 1. He’s smarter than he leads on and 2. He will be an amazing daddy and I can’t wait to have kids. That’s why texting him is so different than talking to him.

Yeah I’m looking over there a bit. Feel like I’m cheating on you guys though haha.

I have gotten a lot of help there.

If it sold otc you can diagnose yourself...lol....I have a headache can you get me an aspirin....dear did an actual doctor tell you that you had a headache?

??????????

You need permission?

Mostly I’m playing in their games threads lol...was thinking we should have a sz questions forum of our own.

But technically I do have bp so I’m kind of whatever about it.

No. Sorry guys. I don’t mean for it to come off as that. My fiancé is a good guy.

He’s just concerned cuz I have hypochondria and take all kinds of pills all day out of fear I am dying with something.

The rest of the convo he said would get it for me. I know it’s hard to understand other people’s relationships but I actually like that he kinda said that initially. I’ve already taken like 3 or 4 different pills this morning as it is.

5 months today since I was hospitalized at the mental hospital so lots of bad memories today. The stupid ER doctor who had me held on a 5150. I think it's almost comical. I requested, and received, my hospital notes. It said something about my affect being good and my responsiveness being good. If I was truly SUI I would not have had a good affect or a good or maybe any responsiveness. I still can't believe three doctors thought I was sui even though I told each of them that I wasn't in a very calm and even tone. I wasn't upset or crying or anything. Ugh. Then the hospital itself, I didn't even have sheets on the bed for two days. Just a bare mattress, the two blankets that the ambulance crew had stolen from the first hospital, and a comforter that the staff kind of lobbed in my direction when I was going to bed when I first got there in the middle of the night. My pets have better bedding than that! Inhuman. Ugh. I was trying to talk to my parents on my lunch break from work about how I'm having thoughts about the hospital but they don't get it. They literally were like turn that frown upside down and turn it into a smile. Am I a five year old? No. I don't want the 25th of each month to be a bad memory. So far it is. I'm trying to think of something positive, so you know, 6 months til Christmas! That's something. I have Monday off of work for my birthday and I'm going to the aquarium. That's something. I have Friday off of work next week for the 4th of July since the 4th lands on Saturday we get Friday off. So I have a three day work week. That's pretty cool. Ugh. It's not working.

No I get it. At least I think I do. Not being in a relationship myself. He was trying to look after you and make sure that you didn't take something that you didn't need to take. And just because it is OTC doesn't mean that it is necessarily safe to take. Depends what meds you're on and stuff. Or what dosages.


I remember going to the pharmacy to get some meds for my sister OTC when she was pregnant. She had the flu really bad but the pharmacist was like, she can't take anything. I'm like, dude she's in a bad way. So I had to call her and find out how many weeks she was and everything before he would recommend anything. Finally he did. But sometimes you gotta be careful. My PCP had me on nexium because I got pains in my stomach. Turns out I have fibromyalgia and chronic pain, not acid reflux. She was like, oh, stop taking that.


It sounds like your fiancee was coming from a good place with it. HUGS Kit

Oh...maybe I misjudged but still...goto google for reflux and make sure you have the symptoms it’s like heartburn etc. If you do the easiest way to find out is to take an omeprazole or equivalent and see if it works. You can pay a doctor to diagnose you if you need to because they’ll take your money for sure but it will be more than the $20 for the meds. You can even get a prescription for this one but it’s otc now so you don’t need one.

What have you taken?

Zyrtec, tums, Aleve, on top of my regular meds.

Not judging, newtus, I just know how painful that can be. I used to get it when I drank, decades ago. So painful. I hope you feel better soon!!

So I once talked to a clin psych and she told me I might have this thing that’s slightly less than ptsd....cannot remember the name but basically it’s like you don’t forget things the way some people do, they sort of continually repopulate your memory, not flashbacks but in a way it’s like reliving a trauma. So I have things like that in my life, losing the ability to walk(temporarily) at twelve, my psychosis like almost ten years ago. It just doesn’t dissipate even if it’s been processed and dealt with. Just wondering if you’ve gone through your hospital experience with someone like a T?

I was in the hopsital for a long time, Kit, and I really relate to what you write here. Have you ever read Man's Search For Meaning? VIktor Frankl? It is really good for stuff like this. He survived a concentration camp. Was a doctor. It is quite helpful, for many of us. Might be worth looking into. His point is that we must find some sort of meaning in even the worst experiences, in order to push through them. I agree with that. Anyway, just a thought.

Probably want to check for drug interactions on a website just to make sure before taking it ....have you checked your psych meds against Zyrtec? I can’t take that one due to abilify, it has an interaction of some sort. The tums will be gone soon enough. I know you’re on a high dose of aleve so double check that one for sure.

I just bought regular otc Aleve. Never filled that script. Cuz otc was working. Now it’s not, that’s another issue. I’ll check.

I am going to have a nightmare level of homework tomorrow.....

Thanks for checking in about it. Yeah, I'm feeling better about it and my decision-making in general.

I still feel some anxiety about work though. I don't know -- this is work work, not school work.


And still having trouble getting motivated for things in general, but mostly school work.

I basically have no schedule or routine.

Yeah, I've talked to my T about it before but she focused on the wrong aspect. She was glad that I was hospitalized because it which I totally understand. But doesn't make up for the fact that I wasn't suicidal, someone lied because it was on the paperwork for the mental hospital and someone lied and said I threatened to but I'm going to talk to my T some more about it. I do feel like it's almost flashbacks. Like if I am laying on my side it reminds me of so much so that I cannot even go to sleep on that side anymore. Stuff like that. My T didn't seem to understand the level of trauma that came from being hospitalized. And by all accounts it's a decent sort of hospital. Shudder. UGH. Sorry guys. Just having a hard time with the date today.

I still think about my hospital stays even though they were like six years ago. Obviously I'm not trying to scare you; I've mostly learned to accept them as what they were, but they still leave a mark on my brain. I mean, I cannot forget them. It's difficult.

I'm sorry you're still having trouble with it. Maybe try to get your mind off of it. Sometimes I literally have to force myself to do something else to avoid thinking of traumatic events. Like I put on some comedy or a comforting video with soothing music or something like that... Obviously not trying to detract from the pain you must feel from it.

I've heard of him and the book but I can't remember if I've ever read it. I know I don't own it. I do believe some good came from being hospitalized but that doesn't take away the sheer hell of being hospitalized. Trigger for Christianity I'm sorry you were hospitalized too. It really sucks. I mean, there's times when I feel like I need it, but that wasn't one of them and no one believed me. No one listened. It felt like no one cared.