Roll Call 181

It was raining all night, I’m freezing 🥶

I’m thinking about getting my sister a ukulele next month, she’s good with music unlike me. Soprano seems nice

Bit of hypomanic spending. Went to the rock store and bought some crystals. Went to Winners and bought some stuff. I was talking a lot and my sister took me aside and asked me if I was okay.

Oops. Guess I’m still feeling it.

I barely slept last night but I feel so awake. Had my one cup of coffee this morning, then some tea. I wish I could go buy some bourbon and have some fun. Not a good idea though.

not going out due to covid made all that worse for me except when I’m with another person to do things....I’m so much calmer when someone else is around which is ironic given that I’ve also got social anxiety in addition to GAD.

Soprano is fine if you have small hands or prefer strumming....I originally bought soprano but then I got a bigger size.

Hugs cog.

Make sure you try to get good sleep =]

Yeah she has small hands

I tried my hardest to sleep last night but I couldn’t do it. Just felt wired. Didn’t look at my phone, dark room, closed my eyes. I got some but not much.

Anyone have TikTok?

No sorry.

I wish the psychiatrist would call me already. I hate waiting.

I wish it was Friday so I could get paid and pay bills.

I wish it was the weekend so I can study and crochet and try to relax.

I wish it was Monday so I could talk to my doctor again and tell him I’m borderline manic still.

I wish I had my tax return already.

I wish I wish I wish.

I wish I could sleep instead of thinking about everything else.

Everything is boring. No one is here talking. None of my RL friends want to chat. Facebook is boring. I started watching a tv show but it was boring me. Tried to find a movie but I didn’t want to pay for anything. Don’t feel like reading or playing solitaire.

Gah.

Me always forever a sloth too tired to type need stim

Aw shouldn’t take stims so late in the day though.

Was watching Bridgerton......

Ah I don’t have nextflix but I hear people going nuts for that show. All I know is it’s like Victorian times and everyone has sex?

I’m going to try to listen to wave sounds and close my eyes. If I don’t post again in a while than I’ve fallen asleep.

Pretty accurate.

I see my doctor tomorrow for a Vyvanse refill. Then I see my psychiatrist in two weeks - I'll get the other refills from him + He said 1-2x of a "short acting" stimulant in the evening is no problem.. So I can sleep..

I'm not mentioning it to my doctor cuz I think he's incompetent about psychiatry.. He's a good doctor but has a big ego.

Then I will be ok ^-;

I've been managing to not take extra long acting stim in the evening - Even though I still fall asleep at the same time (11pm-12am) cuz I can't go a day without and have a limited supply.

Work out your thought philosophically... There's always keys that are found by thinking about something long enough (Although can be exhausting), you can see what is real.

I've killed people with my mind for example.. I'd like to use the power responsibly and not just kill anyone that I don't like.. But logically I know that there's no evidence for that.

I recommend ocean sounds of Martha’s vinyard.....it’s the best.....

Sleep... Listening to Feel Good Inc.

I found an interesting article;

40 Productive (And Fun) Things to Do When You're Bored

And this too;

How to Make a Digital Vision Board Online | PicMonkey

Too unmotivated to read them though.

My pdoc still wants me to do the IOP.

I think I may try a therapy group (but not an IOP).

Sounds like a plan! Do what you're comfortable with or what you need =]