Roll Call 182

I feel like my life just gets worse as time goes on

My emotions are everywhere about life.

My past, present, and future.

Idk what to do with my life anymore. I mean I kinda do but it’s never really gonna bring money but it’s what I love to do. Social media and writing about mental health.

I re-did my Fiverr and applied for the Fiverr pro. So we will see there. If anything I want to be a freelancer. The freedom is great yea but I need that sort of flexibility in order to maintain a healthy mental health life. I think my new “normal” is what it is now because it’s kinda been the whole past year, exactly now. Which isn’t great but it’s not horrible. It’s not super debilitating but it’s something I need lots of work flexibility. You know?

Like that’s just it. I’m not able to work a typical job. I’m just not and it’s ok kinda because I’m pretty creative and resourceful with how to make money here and there but I need to ramp it up.

Even the 10 page report the psyD did on me said I need minimal to no contact with others in a work environment and many breaks in between in order to thrive while working. That was her evaluation of me on the working/employed part of the report.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid It’s just my brain is highly out of whack right now. But really I’ve always wanted to know all about who I am and put labels. Ever since I was a kid I felt wrong. The older I get the more I realize things about myself which makes me feel better. If I have a label I can handle it. Not knowing freaks the **** out of me and makes me feel lost. It’s just how I am. My obsessive thinking wants answers x 10. I just shouldn’t have said anything.

I'm not sure if I upset you are not. I apologize if I have. It wasn't my intent.

I've been thinking about my initial response. Perhaps it was a bit out of line for a stranger to comment on (I read these threads regularly even though I rarely post in them). You seem to display some traits that suggest ASD, but they could also be explained by other conditions such as OCD. I should have been clear about that in my initial response. Note that I was not trying to diagnose you.

I'm a believer in exploring all possibilities, because it often leads to self discovery and a "more" accurate diagnosis (which also depends on the talent of the clinician). This is why I replied to your initial post on the topic.

Obviously it's up to you to decide what to do and determine if the label will be of any assistance or not.

I heard back from my psychologist and she can see me next Wednesday! Instead of the week after. I feel a bit better knowing I have that next week.

I just feel fragile and obsessive and I can’t help myself. I get tied up in these thoughts and I lose myself.

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Felt as horrible this morning as I did when I went to sleep.

I’m so sorry desox

My back is in tremendous pain everyday, all day.

I think my breasts might be too big. Seriously. All my aunts on my mom side had breast reductions. I’m worried. I’m so so so positive it’s cuz of my chest.

Oof busy day today. Went to my psychiatrist to get my medical records, had to wait for a while to see him, there was a lot of people. He couldn’t get it done right away so I’ll get back there on Wednesday. And then on Friday I have to take the medical records from the doctor who did my surgery

I know the pain of being ‘gifted with large assets’ from my moms side of the family. Good Eastern European stock.

Definitely check with your doctor you might be able to get the reduction surgery.

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I'm not trying to say anything about your questions or thoughts about it. I'm speaking about my own personal experience. I understand that some people like the labels and diagnoses because it helps them. I didn't mean to come across as if I think you shouldn't want that . I just speak for myself and share my own opinion as it relates to me

Had coffee and feel like crap now

The hospital ones were from inpatient stays at various psych ward dating back to age 16 thru 22. They wrote a lot about how quiet I was but also about my anger outbursts that I had with the techs lol. The ones from my stay at the residential center I got put in at age 16 for 8 months were brutal. It documented my restraints, I got strapped to a restraint bed more times than I can count. They gave me a battery of psychology tests. The MMPI , TAT, rorschach and 1 other one. That dr wrote that he thought I was a sociopath

I’m thankful for my mom and the rest of my support system.

I feel I wouldn’t take good care of myself if I was alone.

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My cake

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Woah lol I downloaded tapatalk and it logged me into this old username

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Hahah like I know who this is by the picture.

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Who is it???

Sick with anxiety

It’s a birthday cake!

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I’m running out of donuts

BB? Is that you O.o

Oh wait no. JDNA. Happy birthday!

I wish I could eat normally. Think normally. But my brain isn’t letting me.

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I can't even remember what my old username was before I rejoined in 2015.

Don't remember if I told you guys, but my username doesn't mean anything. It's just a combination of random product names I found in the bathroom.