Roll Call 187

I went completely nuts on my mom PTSD style then we cried and now everything's ok my dad is playing guitar and now I'll sleep..

And dont worry guys I'll keep posting on roll call when everyones gone and just talk to myself.. give myself hugs and such

I’m sorry Desoxyn. i just got frustrated because someone on another part of the forum I frequent keeps posting triggering things almost constantly. I’ll stick around here on on just the schizophrenia subforum to give support to you and everyone else here.

I'm feeling upbeat this morning as it's a beautiful fall day outside and I'm so ready for the fall. My sister and I are taking my mother to get a pedicure this afternoon and that should be fun. Then we'll be back at the folk's place for our usual Wednesday visit. I'm always in a better mood when I'm going to visit with my family. Also, I haven't thrown up in the morning for two days which is a big deal for me.

Ranting is fine, I've done a lot of that too. I hope your med withdrawal gets easier soon.

I might buy a small bottle of wine next month, to have to celebrate Halloween. I rarely ever drink but when I do it’s usually just a glass of wine in the evening once in a blue moon.

Thankfully I don’t seem to have my moms addictive personality she had , because I have never had any addiction issues, I always am able to moderate myself with that type of thing, and enjoy it on occasion without a problem.

Thank you, I’m feeling a lot better today. It’s like the 6th or 7th day off it and is getting easier ❤️

I hope you'll stay! :

That's good! I feel kind of weird because I hallucinated red leaves on all the trees 3 days ago.

It's raining, wish I could go for a walk outside. I'm worrying they're going to keep me quarantined another week and a half.

I hope you'll stay! I look forward to reading about your pregnancy and baby.

@junkDNA I hope you'll be 100% soon! Your manager sounds like a jerk.

Next week I have 3 appointments. One to get my abilify injection, and 10 minutes after that I have an in-person appointment with my therapist (same building) then later in the week I have an in person appointment w/ my primary care doctor to discuss getting back on meds for GERD and birth control patches so I can regulate my menstrual cycle and help to deal with PMS, since it's been bad.

I think I may be able to stop the thorazine. (I do have permission to if I want to) and just keep it around to take as needed for sleep instead of every night. Then I'd just be on these meds:

Trileptal 1200mg
Zoloft 200mg
Wellbutrin XL 300mg
Abilify Maintena 400mg monthly injection
and Klonopin prn, which I only take in extreme circumstances anyway which is rarely.

and I'll stay on those.

I'm off the perphenazine finally. I'm feeling good, the withdrawal the first week sucked but I'm doing better now. I'll finally be on just one antipsychotic instead of 3

Making a Shepard’s pie from frozen....hoping it’s good

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Verdict super tasty but looks like

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I get the Invega Trinza injection next week. I'm supposed to get it this week apparently but I'll be out of town.

Yesterday was a mess. I took 5 different substances and fell asleep for 4 hours while everyone was partying.

I wasn't feeling very alert this morning, did some boring things.. I took olanzepine, 5mg of dexedrine and insufflated 5mg of Noopept - I'm not sure if it's doing anything. But I feel like reading so I'll do that.

I'm not going off the deep end or anything.. Things are under control. I'm just worried about the DP/DR panic attack I had two nights ago.

I'm ok.. I just feel bad.. Idk.. I feel far from happy.

That's great news, congrats!!

"Some people will make a full recovery and be completely unaffected by the coma. Others will have disabilities caused by the damage to their brain. They may need physiotherapy, occupational therapy and psychological assessment and support during a period of rehabilitation, and may need care for the rest of their lives."

I have to recover psychologically after being in a decade long coma. I'm over exaggerating because people don't listen lol

I'm waiting to finish my candy to take my night pills. Just a few moments left. Now I'll be on alert for visual hallucinations. I'm not sure, I guess it was in 2013 when I last had them.

I feel like I should take a staycation back in my apartment. I'd like to move back but the illness will get too overpowering if I do. And if I get free of the conservator it will be hard to get back here. I just wish I wouldn't lose my apartment.

Did anyone know that Britney Spears was committed and had a conservator? I was kind of shocked because when you think of her you imagine a wonderfully good life. I'm happy for her because I think she got her freedom back.

My mom was talking about this with my dad. I got sicker and sicker, more reckless, impulsive, etc but my mom said that I'm smart and know that I like my freedom. My treatment team mentioned for my mom to be my conservator but she never did..

I made a joint bank account with my mom but that's it. I'm happy to have freedom. If I didn't have the freedom, I'd be hopelessly depressed or start becoming manipulative.

A psychiatrist also wanted me to take the Invega injection as a community treatment order - That would have ****ed me up too but my outpatient psychiatrist said no. So if I do stop my injection, the cops have no right to take me to the hospital.

I've managed to do well with things like this.

I've been having trouble with overscheduling stuff lately. Just like social stuff. I wish I didn't have so much to do.

Hugs....can you cancel some stuff gracefully?

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Yeah, think I'm going to. I've been super overextended for like a week now. I don't know why, but last week I thought it was a great idea to make a ton of plans. I oscillate between boredom and having too much to do, it seems.

I’m reading adhd 2.0 and it says boredom is our kryptonite....also idk if you have mania at all but same deal.

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Yeah I don't get manic, or at least no doctor has said I've ever been manic, which doesn't exclude the possibility; but I think this modafinil stuff is causing me some strange effects. Like I slept so poorly last night. I don't know why either. Well, I think it was likely due to the modafinil.