Roll Call 188

Did you stop your Thorazine again? It seems you need it to sleep normally and your mind is being wonky from lack of sleep.

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Yes I did, I don’t want to be on it anymore, I hate that it makes me have less energy and that it may have potentially contributed to some weight gain. I know, I know, I have to get over that obsession with weight. I have to just take it and stop messing with it

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I wish it just came in a monthly injection like my abilify injection. Then I wouldn’t be tempted to mess with it all the time. But I know I need to have more self control and just take it

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I have a video appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow. I'm going to tell her about how I called 8 bingo games, and that I started going to that monthly self-care art group, also that I may be getting a cat within the next month or so.

I'm getting a few pieces of furniture for my apartment over the next several months. A small coffee table, because I don't have one, and a chair because the chair I have/that came with my apartment is not really comfortable to sit in

The coffee table is only 46 dollars. I think once I have all that set up, my Van Gogh painting hung, and a table cloth on my dining table the whole apartment will really come together. I know it's taken me two years to really set up my apartment the way I want it, but it's because I'm on a budget. I want it to be a place I can be proud of and enjoy

Someday I'd like to get a bigger/nicer TV but that will have to wait until I get into that vocational rehabilitation program and have a part-time job

So I threw up this morning, ending my streak of not doing that. Oh well. I rested some afterwards and I feel better now.

Today my sister and I are taking my mom to get pedicures. (She has dementia and doesn't do much "grooming.") That is, if she is willing. We tried to take her two weeks ago and she wasn't up to it. Hopefully she will be today. We really enjoy doing this together; it's a lot of fun.

It's another beautiful fall day here and should be all day. I really hope we can get mom to go with us because if she does, that will really make it a good day.

Hope you all have a peaceful day.

I literally threw apart my whole room looking for my ID, I somehow assumed I lost it in my bed somewhere because I had it with me there, and I threw all the sheets and blankets off my bed, moved my mattress, tried to reach behind and spent like half an hour looking and then I made may bed back up pissed off that I couldn't find it then I literally found it in my bra that I'm currently wearing WTF, I don't even put stuff in there, ever, how the hell did it end up there

!!!

At least I'm not taking 10-15, 20g D; I don't think that'll ever happen. But I'll try to taper down to 0mg before I visit my family on the 12th.....

Watch out for PAWS

I wish I had a lifetime supply of tizanidine and benzos. I'd be so much happier.

Some good painkillers too.

Those make me too sleepy lol

I'm gonna read for a bit wish me luck..

I spent 4 hours last night binge watching Shameless... So that was OK..

I love that show

I am a slave to phenibut..

Yes, I'm forgetting the name of the drug I used with tizanidine, another sleepy one. I miss my drug reserves I used to have.

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I hope your situation gets better one day...

<3

Thank you, I guess there's always room for hope.

I think the turmeric is giving me bad headaches

I read a chapter and then feel.. Might as well read a chapter of a book every day.. Instead of trying to read for an hour and do it less often..

Stims don't help. I can read well but concentration not so good.

I'll search up about meditation again.. My attention is terrible. I'm better than most people though by not looking at my device when I'm around people..

I am so tired from being on Klonopin regularly, trying to go down on it though. Any thoughts on how to cut back on it?

Meditation helps me a lot. The whole device thing is interesting though. Yeah, I find myself not looking at my device a lot in public, which I guess is a benefit of paying more attention to my surroundings.

Waiting for my thorazine to kick in so I can try to get some sleep

I think I just figured out my doubts. I know I will probably continue to have them but taking 15 mg olanzapine seemed to help.

I slept for about 12 hours. I know that's a lot but I needed it

I'm glad my appointment with my psychiatrist today is over video, I haven't showered in 3-4 days and I probably look like a mess and don't feel like taking one until tonight. I'm a little less self conscious over video chat than I am in person

My doctor increased my mood stabilizer due to the ridiculous amount of money I've been spending, and also my sleep problems. I have sleep problems even on the thorazine, sometimes I can sleep good on it, sometimes I stay up for days even while I'm on it, so it's not just stopping it that causes the problem. I was having problems with sleep before I stopped it, only sleeping 2-3 hours or less.

I've slowed down on the money spending, but she still wants to make sure my mood stays more stable so I don't start doing it again

I told her about how I called 8 Bingo games, and also started going to that self-care art group, she was happy to hear that