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  #576  
Old Dec 12, 2021, 03:21 PM
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Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
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I was doing well yesterday. Today is good too.

I try to continue having days like this. Almost off of the phenibut, no weed or shroom - Just meds, vitamins, coffee and nicotine gum.

I'll talk to my psychiatrist while sober, and ask him what's really up with the drugs that he's giving to me - To lower the Invega to a medium dose. Then I'll be good for another 3 months.

I'm looking forward to skiing this week and then my dad and sister will come to visit for Christmas. It'll be great! Last time I was with them, I had DP/DR. I was saying really weird things and nothing felt real. I'm glad that I'm passed that.

The amount of work I do for 3-5 hours is like a full 8 hour day - Then I come home, shower, do chores and then I'm ready for the day. I don't seem to be bothered by my coworker anymore - He seems nice. Maybe I was paranoid.
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  #577  
Old Dec 12, 2021, 06:03 PM
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Anxiety....
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  #578  
Old Dec 12, 2021, 06:14 PM
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Angelique67 Angelique67 is offline
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It's ok Des. It's just a passing mood.

I slept most of the day. I think I have cancer, I can barely eat anything for awhile now. I don't know when it started. 6 months ago? I can't remember.

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  #579  
Old Dec 12, 2021, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Angelique67 View Post
It's ok Des. It's just a passing mood.

I slept most of the day. I think I have cancer, I can barely eat anything for awhile now. I don't know when it started. 6 months ago? I can't remember.

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((Hugs)) I hope it's not cancer..
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  #580  
Old Dec 12, 2021, 08:05 PM
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I keep buying stuff. I need to figure out why. I guess it's the holidays.
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  #581  
Old Dec 12, 2021, 08:20 PM
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I think next time I go shopping I’m going to get the stuff to make bacon cheddar fries. Just use frozen crinkle cut fries, bake then top with cheddar dip and bacon bits.
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  #582  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 05:38 AM
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Good morning friends

I have my inspection today, so I'm up early. I'm gonna walk to Family Dollar after it's done so I can buy some chocolate chips for the pumpkin bread I'm making. I'm not as nervous as I normally am about the inspection, I was at first but I feel pretty calm about it right now. It will be over with quickly.

Might have some avocado toast for breakfast

I've been playing a lot of Rune Factory 4, it's a fun RPG.

Anyway, I feel good. Very happy, present/mindful, and thankful. Excited about Christmas!

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Diagnosis:
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PTSD
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  #583  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 09:34 AM
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Inspection went well
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  #584  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 10:09 AM
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Angelique67 Angelique67 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Good morning friends


I have my inspection today, so I'm up early. I'm gonna walk to Family Dollar after it's done so I can buy some chocolate chips for the pumpkin bread I'm making. I'm not as nervous as I normally am about the inspection, I was at first but I feel pretty calm about it right now. It will be over with quickly.


Might have some avocado toast for breakfast


I've been playing a lot of Rune Factory 4, it's a fun RPG.


Anyway, I feel good. Very happy, present/mindful, and thankful. Excited about Christmas!


It's wonderful to see you feeling well! Oh no i hear them saying my name.

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  #585  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 10:18 AM
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Just had a bad panic attack on my walk to the store. Dissociated the entire way there and back. Idk. I think just being out in the open where there’s cars and people was overwhelming since I hadn’t been out in a few days. I was also paranoid that people were watching and laughing at me.
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Diagnosis:
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PTSD
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  #586  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Just had a bad panic attack on my walk to the store. Dissociated the entire way there and back. Idk. I think just being out in the open where there’s cars and people was overwhelming since I hadn’t been out in a few days. I was also paranoid that people were watching and laughing at me.

For some reason lately I feel like people will try to steal my purse when I’m out and it makes me paranoid a bit....I think covid has made it so I’m not adjusted to being out as much.

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  #587  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 01:00 PM
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I went to cook lunch today and my package was broken..alll the way to the inside wrapping....couldn’t eat it sucks....

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  #588  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic View Post
I went to cook lunch today and my package was broken..alll the way to the inside wrapping....couldn’t eat it sucks....

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Can you order takeout?

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  #589  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 01:53 PM
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I slept for only 1 hour last night and I can't even think straight today because of that.

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Diagnosis:
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PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #590  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 02:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Can you order takeout?

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Luckily I had another.....

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  #591  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 02:32 PM
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Sorry, I missed a lot over the weekend. HUGS SP. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister and I'm sorry things aren't going well with the BF right now. HUGS Kit
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  #592  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 02:32 PM
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Glad the inspection went well Blue_Bird! I knew you would blow them away!
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  #593  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 02:32 PM
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HUGS Everyone!
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  #594  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 02:36 PM
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Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
Sorry, I missed a lot over the weekend. HUGS SP. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister and I'm sorry things aren't going well with the BF right now. HUGS Kit
Thanks SK.
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  #595  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 02:40 PM
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I'm having a panic attack again. My meds are poisoning me
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  #596  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
I'm having a panic attack again. My meds are poisoning me

They’re not.....can you breathe into your belly?

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  #597  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 03:17 PM
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They’re not.....can you breathe into your belly?

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Yes I can do that

I just feel disconnected. I got an hour of sleep last night and I keep worrying that people are watching me in my apartment and laughing at me/talking about me. I feel like my meds are poison but I don’t know how to change that thought. I called my doctor and left a message asking if I should restart one of my meds
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
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Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #598  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 03:31 PM
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Cps case was closed
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  #599  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 04:23 PM
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Two "lows" for me. The guy I like who is from Church who is escorting me to my work Christmas party "as friends" informed me yesterday he is seeing someone else from Church but that he can still go with me to the party but we can't drive together. I'm not sure I want him to go now but I would have to un-invite him. UGH.


Then I didn't get the work promotion. No one did. The owner decided she is going to fill this role for a while and save us some money. I don't know how she is going to be able to do it from NY but it's not my decision. So I am kind of bummed out about these two things. Kind of disappointed.


I didn't self harm though. I texted my therapist Julieanne instead. I told her I was okay but she wants a session. Ugh. Sigh.
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  #600  
Old Dec 13, 2021, 05:28 PM
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Angelique67 Angelique67 is offline
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Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
Two "lows" for me. The guy I like who is from Church who is escorting me to my work Christmas party "as friends" informed me yesterday he is seeing someone else from Church but that he can still go with me to the party but we can't drive together. I'm not sure I want him to go now but I would have to un-invite him. UGH.


Then I didn't get the work promotion. No one did. The owner decided she is going to fill this role for a while and save us some money. I don't know how she is going to be able to do it from NY but it's not my decision. So I am kind of bummed out about these two things. Kind of disappointed.


I didn't self harm though. I texted my therapist Julieanne instead. I told her I was okay but she wants a session. Ugh. Sigh.
He can't drive you there and back? What a jerk. The work thing is just a setback, I hope it works out at some point.

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