Roll Call 189

Thank you, Angelique!

It's always weird when the therapist insists you have an appointment and you're like, no really I'm fine.

We're all working with magic on this Earth. Or at least we try to...

I had a decent day at work today. Liking the fact that I get to "ease" into my job. That is nice. For sure.

I smoked weed and became ill. My feet were cold so I put them in hot water. I should have had a hot shower like what those chronic weed smokers do to get rid of nausea. I'm ok now.

I was having great insights for an hour, under the covers with my eyes closed. I wish I wrote them down but couldn't because I was lying down. If I stood up, they'd vanish because I'd be focusing on something. I like to think that I've remembered them in my subconscious mind to build upon them in the future.

I needed to wake up - So I can read before bed. Incredibly fatigued. So I took a walk around the block.

Nothing like walking through a cold blizzard in my pjs

I found some rly good frozen fries. I like shoestring fries and these only take 5 to 7 min to bake (I'm impatient lol)

I've always wanted a tape recorder to talk into lol. I have big insights when I'm driving

It is raining here today and it is very windy (like 50 mph winds). I am wearing a short sleeved shirt, a long sleeved hooded sweatshirt and a zip up sweatshirt. I am also wearing jeans and my rain boots. I have my space heater on and I am still cold. Lol. It would be a great day to wrap up in blankets at home and watch Christmas movies. Instead I am sitting at work, doing very little. (Not much has come across my desk today.)

I have a psychiatrist appointment in two hours

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My stepdads mom earn her us citizenship today after 50 years.

Read for 2 hours straight tonight

I feel good today. I read in the car for an hour and helped my mom carry groceries, Christmas turkey etc..

I've been tapering phenibut for over a week. No problems so far.

I'm grateful to have a good life and be treated properly for mental illness. I want to lower the injection still - But I'm not as angry about being on it cuz it doesn't have severe side effects + I'm not having agitated identity problems and blaming/paranoid of people. It's better than being completely messed up on the street like millions of people in the world. It's really bad - The state of the economy etc.. It's going to get much worse.

I asked my mom why so many people with schizophrenia are homeless and I'm not.. cuz I have support. I'm interested in how they want to decriminalize drugs here (Cuz I read a book about it) - It's just really sad. I don't feel the need to buy dangerous drugs anymore. I think I'm getting better.

I do crave instability/mania sometimes but I think that things are changing.

There are apps for this! I did this with a speech to text app on my phone while I drive too. I have a 25 minute commute and I try to meditate on my book while listening to music. Its a great idea!

I have to agree with this. I used to narrate long histories into my phone. I don't really know why I don't do it anymore.

On another note, I made another website for my business. I am not sure whether I should keep my job for the time being, etc. You know. All those thoughts coming back. Not sure I'm ever gonna finish my thesis, etc. I don't know. It seems like old news.

I think I'm just gonna put business and thesis stuff on hold for now.

Also, I know there are worse problems out there to have, but how to fit exercise into a full time work schedule? I used to enjoy running a lot on the treadmill, now I feel I have no time to do so...

Start small. 1 day on weekend, or two days - Get the heart beating 120+ for 10-20 minutes. It's good 4 you.

Exercise is the no.1 longevity, health such as stroke, diabetes, anti-cancer preventative tool available. It can decrease health related issues by 4-5x. Metformin and other drugs can do 1-2x.

Thanks, Des. I appreciate your comments.

I just worked out this morning, so I am good!

Set up priorities....what is most important in this moment. So for me it might be continue working so I can afford to live on my own, get thesis written before time x....does your program have a deadline for that? I wouldn’t worry about the business until you’ve got the thesis done, a business is by far more than working for someone.

I’m seeing an old friend today, super excited

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Have my therapy appointment in about 15 minutes. It's over video. I get to show her the cat since she hasn't seen her yet

My therapy is in one minute!

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Hope it goes well, and have fun with your friend

My therapy appointment went well. Talking with her made me more motivated to recover from my eating disorder. I showed her the cat, she thinks she's really cute

I have group on Friday, then on Saturday I'm going to my friend's house to hang out and give him his Christmas gift I bought, then Sunday my sister is coming over to drop off some chocolate peanut butter ice cream and stop in to see the cat for the first time