Roll Call 191

On a positive note I have been able to be at 1.375 mg of Klonopin for about 3 weeks ish now. That is good news.

Mildly worried….have to take an antibiotic that changes Qt in the heart in addition to Abilify doing that too….basically if it happens you can just not wake up.. Hopefully it works out ok……

Hugs SP. Abilify seems to the only AP that actually shortens the Qt instead of prolonging it.

@SP, I’m halfway through the book where she talks about how your essential self talk to you through body movements. I noticed that since I left my last abusive relationship I started developing a habit of smiling with my lips widen to both side instead of just to one side like before. I also developed a habit of clapping my hands when I’m happy or excited. Even though I’m already a Lori, it helps me to put a name on the things I experience, good or bad. Also the exercises help to make me aware of my body and feelings even more. Loving this book so far ❤️

I’ve lost 9lbs so far!! I went from 172lbs to 163lbs.

Hoping I can keep this up

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I hope it will be okay. That’s scary, I didn’t realize Abilify did that.

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Woke up with a headache again. Trying to see if it will go away on its own. If not I’ll take ibuprofen. I bought some extra ibuprofen while I was at CVS yesterday thankfully

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Thanks desoxyn…they must have cancelled out then because I had no heart issues at all.

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Pretty much all the APs mess with it…..but we have no choice….unless you have a Genetic predisposition or take a second med that does that then generally it’s ok.

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Gave Mustachio the other half can of wet food, she is really happy now and playing, I threw her catnip mouse around for her to chase

Having a Marie colanders chicken potpie tonight for dinner, can't wait

Mmmm love pot pies…..

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That’s awesome, glad you’re loving it, me too

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Did some laundry, probably gonna read for awhile then maybe watch a movie and play a game later.

I'm having really bad sugar cravings today but my weight loss progress is motivating me to avoid it, that doesn't mean that it doesn't still suck though because it does.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist on Wednesday. Will be nice to report that I'm doing really well, it, our visits in the past several months, like the 4 past appointments I wasn't doing well. I think she'll be happy that I'm not asking to come off medications like I typically ask every single month, I've been taking them consistently every day 3 times a day. I think she was getting a little frustrated with me randomly stopping my meds, then starting to do bad, get back on them, stop them , repeat the process over and over again in and endless stupid cycle

I have intellectual disability

Anyways, I don't care much about my mental health anymore. When I feel like I'm in hell, God will let me tap out for ever longer periods of time.

It's just waves. It's all waves. That's life. It's all been staring at me in the face this whole time.

I give gold stars to all of the souls that have connected, helped, tried to destroy me. Because they got me to this point. And I wouldn't be happier (Or unhappier?) to be where I am now.

All I have are good intentions. I wish the best for all souls.

I feel better that my mom has come home

I had a dream last night that a house caught fire and

She brought sushi =]

Ate at bww…quesadilla and queso….relatively few people and we sat away so are ok for Covid….gotta get out sometime. Also got a few new long sleeved T shirts at kohls, they were like on clearance but I can wear them under sweaters for work and then I got a nice striped one that’s more springy.

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Sushi is yum, haven’t had it in a while.

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Could it be your AP dose….I couldn’t read at all even on 10 mg Abilify and I know you’re on a high dose of invega along with olanzapine. We had to cut it back for my reading to work plus fish oil and finally course work.

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Yes.. thank you.. An understanding!

I cut the olanzepine to 5mg (I'll let my psychiatrist know..). The Invega Trinza is still at 525mg but prolonged from 9 weeks to 12 weeks instead.

Example, I averaged 93% or something in all math coursework, was in honors classes and then once my ex step dad came into the picture and I was put on risperidone, I would fill out multiple choice questions randomly during tests so I could leave the class as soon as possible..

Before that, I was always given way too much work (3 hours of homework was standard) and I did it all.

My mind could now have irreversible problems now and that lowering the antipsychotics could be worse than being on them long term, but it would be better if I was on them short term (If I didn't stop taking them all of the time in the past).. RIP.

I need to figure things out and get my **** together. This is an inter dimensional crisis. If I die, I will still have to learn the same lessons possibly. I have to do everything that I think is cliche and overcome too much modesty or indifference. It's impossible.

Certainly you need to deal with trauma too. Seriously recommend Martha Becks finding your own North Star….she talks about how you have to fix emotional wounds before you can begin to orient yourself.

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I need dopamine.... :/