Roll Call 195

I get lightheaded when my blood sugar is low, which happens if I don't eat often enough. I eat about every 3 hours while I am awake. And I make sure to have protein as well as carbs. That helps me.

I think I might go downstairs to the vending machine to buy a single kind of drink that has sugar in it to have around the house in case the lightheaded feeling gets worse. Because I have no other sugar in the house. Like not even maple syrup honey or table sugar

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You should…..it’s good the have around just in case….

Thanks, yeah that seems to happen to me as well. I had dinner about an hour ago but it was just a small dish of pasta and veggies. I’m wondering if I’m not eating enough. A majority of my calories consisted of junk food for a long time and now that I’ve cut most of it out I don’t know exactly what to eat that’s enough calories

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Yes, I keep some lemonade handy.

Thanks! I just went downstairs and I bought a bottle of ginger ale and a bottle of Coca Cola. So now I have something around the house in case I ever start feeling bad from low blood sugar

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Going to my friend's house tomorrow. We're gonna play the Digimon TCG and the Pokemon TCG

I kind of



I see all these posts on reddit about people cutting stuff out, cutting sugar completely out, then people replying that they should consider cutting out white flour, and cut out all forms of bread too, and also cut out this and that... etc By time you're finished cutting out all this stuff there's like nothing left. I think cutting way back on certain things like especially sugar is good but I can't go to extremes

I think my teeth look better since getting all this dental work done. They would be better if I had properly taken care of them all my life and if I never went through 7 years of purging but they’re pretty decent now all things considered

This may sound stupid but I feel kind of sad today. Like from hardly having sugar for almost 6 days now. I feel like I’m having a hard time feeling joy and I’m missing the dopamine I get from it. It sucks.

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It all about balance….

To be honest, I haven’t been well. I fully relapsed in my ED (I won’t go into details). I don’t want help with it. I just need to lose weight.

Aside from that not much else. I think I’m grinding my teeth in my sleep again. My jaw has been hurting the last couple mornings. I need to start wearing my mouth guard again. Which sucks because I have this thing about having things in my mouth making me gag (even my toothbrush makes me gag sometimes). It takes a while to get used to it again.

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I wet my sleep quarters last night. It sucks because I hate peeing on myself.

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Hold on friends

It will be a bumpy ride. Be ready, have patience, and love all things, including yourself!

My transmissions may cut in and out. But in the end of the universe, like all things that die, .. Rebirth - Experience some of the most wonderful and magnificent things in life - and rattle, a little bit.. All of what has been settled, like a puddle of water. A car comes by, SPLASH. You get wet, and it all evaporates.

Everything will go the way it's supposed to. We make mistakes.. But nothing can truly be a solid plan.. Follow your heart - You can do it all, what ever you want. There's no bounds with a little hope.

Hugs cog…..

Should I sign up to volunteer again? I'm thinking of volunteering for a lunch shift on the 6th of september. I just am worried they will get frustrated with me or think I'm slowing them down.

Did they say they were frustrated? I find most organizations are happy to have volunteers. Maybe you're the one judging yourself?

They didn't say that, it's just my anxiety, I know logically they're probably fine with me but somewhere in my mind I convince myself they hate me because I have low self esteem and always think I do a bad job at whatever I do or frustrate people. I think I'll sign up for the shift though, I want to keep doing it throughout the next couple months till I start college again

They said I did a really good job at the salad bar. (after I got through my initial panic attack that is) So maybe next time I go in they can put me there again instead of the main line

I'm hoping to have 20 hours of volunteer time once winter comes and I start college again. So far I have 6 hours. Then I'll take a break from volunteering until the spring. I'm just trying to get as much experience as I can just doing anything, just getting myself out there

I'm going to call my therapist this week and make an appointment. I need to know what to work on. I can't relate to anyone. It's frustrating.

I want to cry

I wore my mouth guard and it wasn’t so bad in my mouth it’s just seems that my teeth kind of shifted? So it was a little awkward wearing. I could only wear it for a couple hours and had to take it out. Hopefully I can make it work and wear it through the night otherwise I’ll have to contact the dentist to make a new one and that’s like $80.

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Well it's Monday again.

I had a therapy appointment with my T on Saturday night. But her internet sucked. She kept getting frozen and the words were choppy. Eventually we lost contact but I called her back even though we only had a few minutes left of session. We literally just like confirmed session time for Tuesday and that was it. I should have thought to switch over to the phone quicker because it wasn't really helpful with it being all choppy and frozen all the time.