Roll Call 195

That’s unusual but whatever works for you….have to admit I don’t take the full dose, just half and I actually take the algae version because no fish burps.

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Pick something that’s doable with a masters…PhDs are overrated tbh……a lot of pharma companies will hire you at a masters level but not a PhD. If you have a PhD they expect you to be in management bleh. You could even be a tech with just a science degree in biochem.

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I need to shower. I really don't want to though

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I’m more of a bath person…but honestly I feel so much better after.

Baths are nice. I don't have one though, just one of those walk in shower stalls without a tub. I need to just force myself in. I always feel better after it's just hard getting myself to actually do it

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I got the intuitive eating workbook my therapist recommended to me

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I took a shower finally

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I spend a lot of time distracting myself from the state of the world, russia and the nuclear stuff, etc, can't handle reading about it or hearing about it, and I'm anxious about it, so I spend most of my time distracting myself with things like reading, playing games, watching stuff, art, ukulele. If I think about it too deeply I start panicking and freaking out

Have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. Have an appointment with my psychiatrist Wednesday and grocery shopping. Thursday I'm volunteering. Friday I have a dentist appointment to get impressions made so the crown can be made for the tooth they did the root canal on. Saturday night I'm going to see Halloween Ends at the theater (my friend is feeling better so we're gonna go).

Sunday I'm making this crockpot crack chicken recipe. That's what it's called on a Pinterest recipe. I've made it before. Put boneless skinless chicken breasts in a crockpot with cream cheese, shredded cheddar cheese, green onions, bacon bits, ranch seasoning, and once it's cooked and the chicken is shredded put whatever type bread you want to serve it on

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Trying to decide what to learn next on my ukulele

Okay I’m learning This is Halloween from the Nightmare Before Christmas

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There’s a coffee social thing today so I’m going to that in about an hour

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What a beautifully euphoric day

Was watching the football game last night. I kept thinking I was hearing a conversation separate from the TV Broadcasts. No one seemed to know what I was talking about though. But I could hear it. Probably stupid psychosis.

Didn't really feel like eating my lunch so I just ate two bananas instead.

Might get me some soup

That reminds me SK, I had hypnotic auditory hallucinations/voices last night from the pregabalin. Interesting. Then I fell asleep.

This conversation I was hearing was probably psychosis since no one else seemed to hear it or know what I was talking about. It was muffled and I couldn't make it out. I just decided to ignore it since no one seemed to be too concerned. I was concerned though but I just tried ignoring it.

Supposed to see my T tonight via Zoom. It's been a few weeks since I have talked to her. I feel disconnected from her. We will see how this session goes.

Had a good appointment with my therapist. We talked about a lot of things. How I'm doing the intuitive eating and got the workbook she recommended for it. Talked about my paranoia of police and how it may be related to when I and they came banging on the door ike a maniacs yelling my name and I had no idea who they were, they didn't even say they were police then when they came in I thought I had done something wrong and was being arrested, had no idea that they were there because I had and then the other time my therapist put a mental inquest warrant on me and had the police come straight to the mental health clinic and pick me up, and they said they'd handcuff me if I tried anything and they said if I had God in my life I wouldn't have these problems.

Now everytime I hear a siren or knocking on my door I think they're after me, my heart races, I panic

I have physical therapy for my neck/shoulder today. I have problems with my C1, C5 and C6 vertebrae.

I let my T know what I might be quieter today because I am not feeling as connected to her. I also texted her about the conversation thing I was hearing last night that no one else was.

That sounds great!

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Omg, I get panicky when anyone is at my door, especially the police. And they bang on the door with sledgehammer or something.

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My anxiety is bad today. I had to shower and I was very slow moving and I didn't want to.

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Had an appointment with my psychiatrist. She prescribed 500mg metformin to help lose the weight I’ve gained on my APs. I used to be on 1,000mg of it a long time ago but my blood sugar was getting too low so I got off it, now we’re trying a much lower dose because that one was too high for me

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