Roll Call 197

Also, I have 8,349 words of a novel written. Thought I'd share that somewhere. (Facebook feels too braggy).

I'm going insane from sleeping so much, not being able to wake up early, being sedated until night time - and then feeling ok right when I'm supposed to go to sleep.

Do you think it's because of meds? I guess I would assume it is. When do you talk to your doctor next? Maybe you could write something out to the extent that you said it here and give it to your doc at your next appointment. I know my psychiatrist always appreciates it when I give him notes at the appointments. You could write it out and print it or something like that. That's what I always do. It helps me get organized and it helps the doctor actually know what's bothering me/what's going on.

Also it sucks to feel that way, sorry you're feeling that way. Hugs.

Somehow I thought tomorrow was Valentine’s Day because it’s the 14th of the month and for some reason I thought it was already here even though it’s not until February 14th. I was just buying it for myself even though I’m not in a relationship and haven’t been for 10 years because why not. I did not even realize that I had the months mixed up until I got home from the store today. So I guess I’ll be eating some of it tonight to celebrate Friday the 13th instead haha

This is awesome!

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I've been so tired. I can't shake it. I do have chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. I don't know why I have been so tired unless it is one of these playing up, which it might be. Weather changes affect me (makes my joints achy, etc.) and it has been raining buckets here. It is actually sunny yesterday and today but rain is coming tomorrow. My meds haven't changed so I know it is not that! Anyway, my Dad brought me, and my two female coworkers, Annihilators from Dutch Bros! Yum! I sent him money via Zelle but he went and got them and brought it to work. I need the caffeine! I was so tempted to call in so I could sleep. But I really need to save my PTO for Peru!

Your candy looks good Blue_Bird! Yum!

Hope you feel better SK, and enjoy your coffee

I am on day 3 of the free 30 day photography course. So it's like a bite sized video and a small page to read every day for 30 days, that goes over the basics of photography for beginners. So far I've learned about aperture, f/stops, and depth of field. I have lifetime access so I can always go back and view the course to review the information on it anytime I want which is nice, because it usually takes me several times going over information to really keep it in my brain and to actually apply it

Some recent pics with my Nikon D70s

Those are great - I've always wanted to get into photography, but I already have some artistic stuff going, so adding another hobby would actually probably be too much! Maybe I'll get to it sometime.

Very good day today

Was 15 minutes late for work, but that's okay.. =] At least I didn't sleep in until 1pm. Got to look at things more positively.

And stop trying to be some philosophical genius with my existence.. Wait!.. No, nvm..

There's got to be just more to it than this
Or tell me why do we exist
I'd like to think that when I die
I'd get a chance, another time
And to return and live again
Reincarnate, play the game
Again and again and again and again

Thanks! Yeah I have several art type hobbies and had to cut back on some because it was overwhelming and I felt like having too many going on was making me not progress in any of them because there was too many and not enough time (I have a hard time focusing)

So I have limited myself to photography and music (keyboard and ukulele but mostly ukulele right now above keyboard cause I don't want to overwhelm myself again). Music is something I always did. I grew up playing violin in orchestra for many years. Then in highschool I took a guitar class. Have been learning ukulele for awhile now but just now really applying myself to both that and photography. I'm just doing them for fun. Don't want to be professional at either. That's never gonna happen. But I'd like to learn how to play really well and take good pictures just because I enjoy it, and want to learn the technicalities of how cameras work.

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Any1 else ever feel ApATHy??

I believe that spirituality is a good treatMEnt for apathy...

And these things; How to Combat Apathy | 5 Ways to increase your enthusiasm.

I haven't been feeling apathetic much in a while.. But now I realize that it's a problem. I'm like a dementia patient. My brain just isn't old enough to SCREW ME YET..

I've had a tooth that I've needed to have a dentist take a look at, I was meaning to go to the dentist sometime in February to get another cleaning. But the tooth literally broke, like a big piece of a back tooth broke off tonight. So I guess I'm going to the dentist on Tuesday since it's a weekend They only take walk-ins so hopefully if I leave early in the morning that day I can get a spot and get seen.

I'm like wondering now if it's broken if it can even be pulled at this point, like it might not be strong enough for them to actually get a grip on with pliers and pull without breaking it and I think the root will have to come out so that might mean surgery

They don’t use pliers, they can cut the gum and push it out. It’s not terrible, they’ll just inject a painkiller and like in five minutes it’s out. You’ll need an oral surgeon though not a dentist. Usually the dentist can refer you.

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I think I'm going to die soon. It's a really strong feeling. I feel like I should just tell everyone and prepare them, and then hopefully I'll be a less chaotic reality where I'm not God. I don't want to be eternal.

This is a highly spiritual problem IMO. I'll take the olanzepine - It usually helps.

Yeah just sleep it off. I think you’re wrong and that you’ll be fine. Just see.

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Can’t sleep. I slept well last night because I was all fever and tired from the shot but now I’ve been staring at the ceiling for like and hour and a half. Tried to sleep but just can’t. Hopefully I’m not up until 2am again. This is so boring I hate it.

If I had a Seroquel I’d take one right now and be done with it.

Gotta keep a note how my sleep is for when I see my doctor next.

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Melatonin? I don’t have anything and I’m awake too…not sure why.

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I’ve never tried. I’ve never had such trouble before falling asleep. Well maybe not true. I was on seroquel for a while there when my sleep was bad but idk how to compare.

I eventually fell asleep around 11pm and just woke up (550am) so I guess that’s not bad. I just need to watch out if I’m sleeping like three hours again and not needing sleep.

Apparently a rarer side effect to lamotrigine is trouble sleeping.

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Thanks I didn’t realize that. I thought they would have to do something similar to when all of my wisdom teeth were taken out by an oral surgeon. They were all compacted and didn’t grow in at all so I had to be under anesthesia while they cut all four of them out from my gums and stitched the socket up. I wasn’t awake for any of that. I’m just afraid of anesthesia so I don’t want to have that again.

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Spent the morning coloring and drinking a coffee, then playing with Mustachio (Maybelle is more of a lay around kind of cat, she does play but not as often as Mustachio, Maybelle is old 13 years old so she’s calmer) so I just played with Stash and gave maybelle attention too. Fed them, ate breakfast, took my morning meds , brushed my teeth.

Getting on the treadmill later then doing some cleaning in my apartment, and then taking a shower.

I fell asleep while listening to a 18 minute guided meditation last night. I forgot to take my Bluetooth earbuds off because when I woke up my earbuds were scattered around the bed and my Fitbit app was still open and it apparently logged the entire time because it said my meditation session was like 9 hours long

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