Roll Call 197

Looks like it’s negative so it’s probably a cold or something like that

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Same, I broke a five year streak….

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Blue_Bird and SP: I hope you feel better soon! HUGS Kit

I woke up feeling horrible. I'm sick of this always happening.

I had phenibut dreams.. Of taking so much LSD.. But I had to work and get abused by bosses with no brain/soul.

And everyone was playing ice hockey.. And a friend betrayed me.

I was relaxing, sitting on the roof of some place. I swear, the only time I can truly relax - Is in my dreams. They are places that I want to live in forever. Maybe when I die, I'll have peace - And be in those places.

Heart palps last night too.

I went to bed at 7pm because I was tired. I ended up tossing and turning and racing thoughts until about 2am. Woke up at 5am fresh as a daisy. Laid there until 7am.

My sleep has been off lately. My doctor said when I saw him a couple weeks ago that I seem to have some mild insomnia going on. It’s only getting worse.

I mean I feel up and down still. I felt good the other day. Then I feel unfocused and sad. And then my sleep is off.

I don’t know what to say. I see my doctor on Thursday.

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That's actually torture cog. Hugs.

A zopiclone would help.

Cheat Codes for Life I Know at 36 That I Wish I Knew at 26 | Tim Denning

Hey, am 26. This is ok.

What is it.. or who am I, when I have nothing to say anymore.

And who I was, is lost.

I told my mom about "ChatGPT"..

"Have you heard of it? I can ask it any question, and it's like a therapist" - She said "No.. but it's not human.."

"When you were my age, what did you think would happen in the future?" - "You're just telling me this to scare me" she said lol..

I may go back on 5 mg olanzapine to help with certain symptoms I've been having such as anxiety. I mean my doctor was scared about the metabolic side effects it was causing but I also don't wanna feel unstable mentally.

On 10mg, everything is okay.. On 5mg, not good.. So I'll ask about 7.5mg. Today I started a rotation of 10mg (For one day)/5mg (The next day).

No.. I'll stay on 10mg until I see my psychiatrist - Cuz without the full dose, I get massive cognitive problems.

Yeah honestly, I wish I was still on 10 mg. I get so frustrated with things without it! It is so crazy. I get frustrated about stupid things like how I'm gonna make money. I need to be able to make money. But without the olanzapine it's like my brain goes haywire.

I take 5 mg Olanzapine in the morning and 10 olanzapine at night. I feel pretty stable on this. I also take Latuda 80s I think. I take Trintellix and generic Cymbalta (Duloxitine), and Vyvanse.

I keep waking up really tired but I have trouble falling asleep. I think part of it is that Zoey (our dog) is wound up at night and it takes me some time to get her settled in bed. (She sleeps with me.) I am looking forward to Saturday when I can sleep in.

Got my passport in the mail two days ago. That much closer to Peru!

Had a donut at work today. It used to be donut Fridays but now it is Donut Thursdays. Now I want some milk or something.

I'm so tired. I slept 30+ hours in the past 2 days.

I'm so tired too, Desoxyn. I hear you. I wish I could have gotten that much sleep. I'm running on like 6.5 to 7 hours a night. I need like 8-10 minimal. I'm hoping to sleep on Saturday. At least sleep in. I think if I could sleep til 7 AM which would be about 11 hours, that would be great!

Cup of coffee and two Dexedrines.

Just to open my eyes

All of the morning things are done.. I was so agitated, having to do them... I'm sick of these things. I dread them when I wake up.

I wonder if I can take 5mg of olanzepine + 5mg of Abilify (Instead of 10mg of olanzepine).

That might wake me up a little, and stop agitated rage, psychosis, cognitive impairment etc.

I had the COVID shot yesterday so I’m all fever and tired today.

But I went to the doctor told him what’s what how I’ve been doing mentally. Going to keep on going with 200mg lamotrigine for now.

I told him about my eating disorder and that I’m trying to be better. He acted as a sounding board for me which is nice. Asked some questions to gauge how I’m doing.

It was nice to be honest with someone.

I see him in like two weeks.

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So tired. Can't wait to go home and collapse in my lazyboy and watch some mind numbing TV before getting some shut eye

I took 10 mg olanzapine last night even though I was only supposed to take 5 mg. It knocked me out. Like I was so tired. I think I'm just experiencing regular anxiety because I'm about to make a big move. I'm not taking any more olanzapine. Just because it messed with my weight and stuff so much.

On a positive note, I finished a 575-ish page book the other day in a couple of days. So that was good. It was written in Spanish, too. A translation of Michel Foucault from French.