Roll Call 202

Hug’s bluebird

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Trying to think of a way to cheer myself up

I'm still sick. I had a sore throat for 3 days then it turned into congestion the other day and having to blow my nose all the time now it's congestion and coughing the past couple days

I don’t see any point in anything anymore. I gave up the job. My cat passed away. I feel like **** because I’m sick. And I feel like a failure in multiple ways. I’m about to end my relationship with my boyfriend because I don’t see the point in staying in a relationship right now. Everything is irritating me. I am only staying alive because of my other cat. Every day is repeat and time flies by then you die and there’s no point to anything anyway. Life is just distracting yourself day in and day out until you get old and die.

Bluebird it’s critical you talk to someone a T about this. Don’t break up with the bf you’ll feel even worse.

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BB, sorry what you're going through. You know the saying. When it rains, it pours. It happens to me a lot but then things always seems to magically get better again. I couldn't possibly know better than you about your life but I have to agree with Sometimes psychotic about your bf. Unless he's just bad to you then I would think it's better to stay with him. Loneliness for most people is horrible. Hope things get better soon. Stay strong!

Thank you! You’re right

I’ll talk to my therapist about it again when I see her on the 28th. I’m not gonna break up with him I guess. I just feel like isolating

I bought one of the big Christmas gifts I decided to get for the rescue cats at the place I volunteer. I’ll buy the rest tomorrow. I bought them the same toy I bought my cat Mustachio the other day. It’s pretty cool, I think the cats there will like it too.

Tomorrow I’ll order their blankets, 3 bags of temptations treats, and assorted small toys. And put it all in a gift bag and drop it off one of the days I volunteer when it gets closer to Christmas

This is what I bought the rescue cats. I got one for my cat Mustachio too and she likes it.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07X2...b_b_prod_image

I'm thinking of getting Mustachio a tunnel for christmas, I think she'd have fun with one of those

Finishing up my Christmas shopping this week.

This is what I’m getting/already got for everyone

For my sister:
-an otterbox case for her iPhone 13 Pro
-a full sized Yankee candle
-bath and body works aromatherapy lotion
-a cocoa /mug set. It’s like a mug that comes with stuff to make cocoa in it. It’s either Ghirardelli or Godiva hot chocolate I forget which one it is.
And of course a Christmas card

For my niece
-bath bombs
-bath and body works aromatherapy lotion
-a $25 Amazon gift card
-a full sized yankee candle
And a Christmas card

For Mustachio
-treats
-catnip
-a new toy (she already got her new toy early because I wanted to cheer her up)

For kitten angels:

-a set of three cute pet blankets they can use for some of the cats there.
-a big toy (the same one I got for my cat Mustachio)
-some assorted smaller toys
-catnip
-cat treats (temptations)
And a card

For my boyfriend (this was split because his birthday is December 19th) so the first three items I sent him for his upcoming birthday. The last items are for his Christmas gift.
-A full metal alchemist funko pop
-staff paper for music writing
-yugioh cards and card sleeves
-new guitar strings
-a set of drawing pencils

For my friend
- a new pokemon TCG deck

For my neighbor across the hall a Christmas card, and for the lady I volunteer with a Christmas card

And that’s everything

It feels good to be able to get everyone stuff this year. I guess that’s one good thing that came out of the job. Getting money. Plus I have my tax return to look forward to. I can finally replace all the crappy furniture that came with my apartment.

Making jalapeño poppers

My mood is all over the place. I keep going through phases of crying and wanting to die

I also feel really angry

Now that I don’t have work to occupy my mind I’m having panic attacks with dissociation.

I went to my volunteer shift today with the cats. It was good. Here’s one of them

Cats are so cute! So, BB.

Just posted this in the BPD and avoidant personality disorder areas but there's basically nobody there so thought to ask here if anyone is gonna spend christmas and new years alone.

I have an interview in the next week, whenever McDonalds scheduled it. I just applied and passed their screening and they are going to set up an interview with me. Idk. I know it would be a crappy job that will suck but I can’t deal with having all this time on my hands I’m bored out of my mind and keep having panic attacks

What about a bookstore?

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The closest one to me isn't hiring

So I treated myself to a couple things while Christmas shopping, I got myself a new yugioh structure deck, some card sleeves, deck boxes and a apple arcade subscription so I can play the Hello Kitty game again, it's basically Hello Kitty version of Animal Crossing and it's amazing. I tried to not buy anything for myself but I felt like maybe a treat is okay especially considering how the past week has been

I did literally all of my christmas shopping online. So I have like a billion packages coming over the next several days because I shopped for three people and kitten angels

Just wanted to share a pic of the bath bombs I bought my niece. They’re so cute. I also got her an adult coloring book by Joanna Basford, colored pencils, and a full sized Yankee candle. She’s away at college but will be home for the holidays.