Roll Call 202

Good luck, Blue_Bird!!! I hope everything goes your way!

Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk

Is it normal to lose your appetite when grieving a pet loss? I have never lost my appetite before like this aside from when my mom was dying from cancer. I couldn’t eat then. The thought of food was unappealing. Which is really unusual for me because I always have an appetite. The thought of food makes me nauseous right now. I have all my favorite foods in the house and none of it is even remotely appealing to me, I don’t even feel like eating and haven’t felt very hungry.

It’s the same lack of appetite I felt when my mom was dying.

So I had the interview. I’ll get emails this weekend if I get the position. They said it’s temporary but depending on how temps do between now and January will decide if they want to keep temps permanently , like how often you call out sick, whether you’re actually working and doing your job or on your phone playing around etc.

It was like a 23 minute interview. And she wrote a lot of stuff down on my application. Idk if that’s a good sign or not.

She asked if I can stay late (11:30pm) and I said yes, and asked if I’d be willing to do inventory in January. I did that at my last job. They do it quarterly. You scan and document every single item in the store. And you basically have to be there at 4am two days in a row. I said yes. I said I’m available every single day any time except Tuesdays because I volunteer that day.

People have different reactions to death. Some people lose their appetite, some people binge. It’s completely normal.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Holy **** I can't take this anymore

Why can't I create art... Or build a structure through blueprints, or walk a dog..

What am I supposed to do? Hmm? We are partially Gods. We don't just go in a straight line (Well we do.. That's the point).. To the beginning.

I need people to slap me, while I'm under hypnosis... And facing my darkest demons, to get rid of them.. And see that they are just shadows..

I've been working on my blog. Check it out if you're so inclined! https://imaginativefusion.wixsite.com/mysite

I’m thinking I didn’t get the job. The interview was yesterday at 10am and it’s 4pm now today Sunday and I haven’t heard anything yet.

Feeling really depressed

I feel so tense or like I'm hanging from a bungee cord

They’ll usually let you know Even if you didn’t so no news is still good news.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Usually with these types of places they just don’t tell you

They said I’d get emails but they didn’t say when so idk what to expect.

I took random pills to help me. I feel better. This is the first time that I'm aware that I have no idea what I'm doing.

I wouldn’t expect anything from corporate until Monday. The higher you go the better the hours.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I hope so. It will hurt mentally if I don’t get it,

Just assuming at this point that I didn’t get it

My bf said to just take my time and find a job that actually makes me happy , instead of jumping back into a job that’s just as bad and demanding and overworking as the previous one.

I'm back after a long break. I need a place to vent sometimes - relying on other people to reply to texts and voice mails is frustrating me. If nothing else, I get to type out my frustrations!

Welcome back

I got my shower done but I didn't wash my hair.

Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk

I managed to stop drinking caffeinated coffee. I’ve just been drinking decaf now. My anxiety is a lot less severe and my sleep is a ton better since I stopped drinking caffeinated coffee. Which makes sense since I was drinking 5-6 cups of full. Caffeine coffee everyday. I felt like crap the first day. Had a severe migraine. The. The day after that I felt depressed because I’m used to relying on caffeine to improve my mood. Today I feel a lot better. I slept 9 1/2 hours last night and it was good quality sleep according to my Fitbit. Normally my sleep quality gets a score of fair or poor. I also took a nap today.

Schizophrenics vs psychopaths

I'm basically just focusing on my mental health and self care for right now. Still volunteering with the cats on Tuesdays and that's going well. I'm using part of my tax return to upgrade the ram on my laptop and get the battery replaced and pay for some textbooks since I'm going back to college in the fall to start finishing up my associates degree. Then hopefully find a more bearable job than my last job.

I feel pretty good right now, starting to come out of the depression I was in the past week. I need to clean my apartment so I'm gonna start working on that, it's overwhelming but I need to start on it.

I'm doing a low buy year for the year of 2024. So basically no impulse spending... I can set aside a small amount each month for fun things but it's gonna be more towards experiences than physical things. Like going out to eat or to a movie with family or friends. I'm trying to limit the amount of stuff I bring into my apartment and appreciate and make use of what I already have. That includes digital items like videogames etc cause I have so many I havent finished or haven't even started yet that I own there's zero reason for me to keep buying more I have a huge library of them on multiple consoles and on PC. And no ebooks. I have a ton of unread ebooks I've bought. Anything I want to read that I don't already own I can get from the library. Just trying to enjoy and make use of the things I already have

They just called, I got the job! My first day is Monday!