Roll Call 202

So I ended up staying an extra hour and 45 minutes because they asked if I could. I only did the sales floor for 30 minutes then the entire rest of my shift I was cashiering. I work tomorrow, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I think I get Monday off. I can’t remember. But I know I get Tuesday off for sure because I volunteer that day

My mental health is very good past few months, better than ever generally.

I arrived at the hotel - Not sure what to do now, got the iPhone 15 Pro Max synced up, with Z Fold 3, MacBook Pro M1, earbuds etc..

And I see on the news.. Christ.. The whole world is becoming the same.. We drove passed people -, Living in weird, strange Hillbilly houses.. Idk if there's internet - Cop cars speeding by, seems methy, poor - Like scene from GTA 5, in the semi-desert. It's been the biggest drought in since the 1860's. No snow.

DPDR is gooone.. But I am now, grateful for my life.. I will go wherever that the reality patterns take me.. Through the circle, losing my mind, body and soul along the way. Immense pain, struggling - But also bliss, ecstasy, and euphoria..

Love keeps the world together. But love is pain, when you fight against those that are "wrong", defend.. Become attached.. Revenge.. Ego, pride etc.. A bunch of people, having no idea what reality is - Believe they know, and won't let go - To the death and destruction of all beautiful things.

My mom doesn't have satellite radio in the car, no cellular data, driving through... I lied down, we were listening to w/e AM radio.. Reminds me of when we drove through the same place, and I swallowed psilacetin in the back seat while my moms ex was driving. The place has a strange energy.

My cat Maybelle isn’t doing well. I am almost 100% certain she’s dying. She stopped eating, drinking, has lost a lot of weight and just lays around all day. It happened so fast too. Like she was okay a couple weeks ago. I mean she’s always had trouble keeping weight on because she’s really old 14 years old. But she got drastically skinny over the past week and I didn’t even really notice how bad it was until yesterday because I’ve been so distracted and busy with work. She’s really really old for a cat so I knew this would come sooner rather than later but I hate it and I am just trying to make her as comfortable as possible, idk how to cope with losing her when she goes. I want to help her but I know there’s only so much that can be done (euthanasia) but I don’t have the money for that right this instant. And she doesn’t seem to be in any pain. She’s still purring a tiny bit when I pet her.

On top of that I’m also sick, I have a really bad sore throat and cough. (I tested negative for Covid) and I don’t have enough paid sick time to take off and I don’t have a day off for at least 4 or 5 more days.

I'm sorry BB..

My cat (Angel) is 15 (I didn't think that was *very* old) - She's very healthy, empathetic, sentient guardian spirit cat. She has bad anxiety (About me leaving - She *knows* when I'm going to leave/Cuz I'd be packing my bags - She is, for after all, my *trip cat*).

She goes under my covers and cuddles with me every night before I go to bed (Sometimes she falls asleep), and then (When I want to sleep), she climbs on my desk chair, and sleeps there all night (Until I wake up). I cried.. I know she's getting old.. Because it's so so sad.



She is my childhood cat. Two of my moms friends will visit every day to give her and Conan (My moms black cat) food, water, clean the litter box. I left toys, a laser etc all over the floor. They might hang out there and keep them company some days for 3 weeks.

Aww she is so beautiful! She looks so sweet. This is Maybelle. She likes to lay on my chest or arm and rest her little head on my shoulder or arm
Here’s pics of her, the second one she’s begging for pizza

- 2016 (Soon before trip).

She looks like a very loving cat

I am torn on what to do.

1. I’m sick
2. One of my cats is possibly dying
3. I have 3 days of work in a row beginning tomorrow
4. I can’t take time off work because I already called out last week because I didn’t sleep at all

So idk what to do. Just push through or what.

All this happening at once is a lot to deal with. I just want to rest, get better from being sick and spend quality time with my cats

Cats are so amazing! Idkw but when most cats see me they look way above my head and focus so intently. I know they're looking at some energy field, maybe the aura. Dogs can see as well but it's my experience cats can see spirit energy a lot better. They're like little gods in the flesh. Last week I looked out my window here and a cat was sitting there. She immediately looked way above my head, and then the tip of her tail wiggled. Lol

I sure miss my cat. She was my best friend! Very soon before she passed away she hopped on the swing with me in the backyard, for some reason I closed my eyes, next thing I know I'm seeing a clear vision of a place, but what's far more important is she gave me the feeling of what it's like to be strong and calm. I'll NEVER forget that moment. It just swept over me in such a real way. I was shocked because the strength and calmness was out of this world. I think animals have an incredible level of inner strength. And to be calm. I didn't think it was humanly possible to have such an experience. But it was something that I would soon need more than anything because soon afterwards my parents moved far away, I ended up alone, and my life became more painful than ever. For years afterwards whenever life got too painful I would remember that vision and be reminded to be strong and calm. Glad you guys posted those photos of cats. I kinda forgot her lesson. It was the best gift anyone has ever given me.

I can see Des's photos, but am still getting error boxes on Blue_Bird's.

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They show up on mine.

It’s probably because I’m not on Tapatalk

I use "Gyazo" image screenshot, and then "Copy image address", then paste it into this thing;



I figure things out lol..

But it's good that BB does it within the website (Cuz that's more anonymous).

https://mysupportforums.org/attachme...1&d=1701369513

(I think this is how BB does it? Not sure..)

My cat Maybelle died today

OMG I'm so sorry to hear that, BB!! I know it's not easy. Hang in there. Lots of eHugs!

Thank you thankfully I took today off work because of being sick so I was with her holding her right up till her last breath. My sister is picking her up tonight to get her cremated

I’m gonna miss her so much. My other cat is kind of freaked out now because she doesn’t know what’s going on.

OMG a bluebird so sorry for your loss…..hugs to the max.

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Oh man, sorry to hear that.

I dont want to go to work tonight. Partially because im still sick and mostly because i feel depressed and keep crying about Maybelle dying yesterday.

After speaking with my therapist at length about everything tonight I made the decision to quit my job for my mental health. which I did tonight and am gonna search for a better one after the holidays.

Yes, that's probably it.

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Oh no, I'm so sorry Blue_Bird. Hugs

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Maybelle has been dropped off to be cremated. Her ashes will be back in 1-2 weeks

My sore throat is starting to fade now I’m extremely congested and keep having to blow my nose

I’m spending the money I normally spend on Maybelle’s portion of litter and food for the month towards a few small Christmas gifts for the cat rescue I volunteer with. So I’m getting a big toy for the cats there, some treats and blankets for them. So they can have a good Christmas too.

I feel horribly depressed