I have a habit of making lists and then tossing them and getting very little done. Of course, the lists often have more things that I can possibly do in the allotted amount of time. So, here is a list of things for this weekend:

1. Finish and revise letter to SSDI
2. The usual: grocery, laundry, ironing
3. Cleaning (my weak point)
4. Re-arrange furniture
5. Start organizing finances
6. Read self-help books
7. Job hunt

Wish me luck!

[Mindinpieces]

Originally Posted by unhappyguy

I have a habit of making lists and then tossing them and getting very little done. Of course, the lists often have more things that I can possibly do in the allotted amount of time. So, here is a list of things for this weekend:

1. Finish and revise letter to SSDI
2. The usual: grocery, laundry, ironing
3. Cleaning (my weak point)
4. Re-arrange furniture
5. Start organizing finances
6. Read self-help books
7. Job hunt

Wish me luck!

I have a habit of also doing this, so I give up on writing list but then I come unstuck when I can't remember what I need to do and when I am unable to keep track of things. One tip try not to set time scale to things in other words; here is the list of today but not when this must be done or finished, just know that when your ready you can move on to your next list or add a new things on to your on going list. Also try getting a white board or chalk board that way you can update edit things as and when and it may be better then papaer list, keep ripping them up then writing newones and then losing them etc. That is what I am like and it may help you or may not. I hope you are gettting on ok and wishing you all the best.

[likewater]

I could borrow the same goals except I just need to go to my job before I lose it. Do need to apply for food stamps and help with utilities. I've missed a lot of work due to FMLA. also my house is so dirty i'm having bad dreams about it. I'm proud of you for having your goals.

[yellowted]

good luck to you all x

my goals are

to not get frustrated when i drop something or get my wheelchair stuck in the doorway
to give my pets the attention they deserve not just that which they need
to talk with at least two people every day, not including shop assistants!
to do two chores fully each day, not start and then give up
to go out as much as possible.

Well, it's Sunday night. Laundry - done; Grocery - did some; Ironing - all done.
I spent the day apartment cleaning. There is still lots to do. But, I made some progress. Some furniture was moved too. I think my postings helped put me in the mindset. I will continue with these goals and wish everyone the best with theirs.

Another week has passed and an updated list of goals is due. It has been a week of change. I will be taking a break from organized religion as I do not believe it is helping with my issues. I will continue with my Excel training class on Fridays and will increase my job hunting efforts. I will continue motivating myself to do thins and have to admit that I have mixed emotions about working. I have not been able to motivate myself to exercise or do much apartment cleaning and I need to work a lot to change that behavior. These will be my goals for the week: exercising, apartment cleaning and job hunting. I am hoping that accomplishing these goals will help with my depression and social anxiety, which seem to be increasing and are a cause for great concern. It is clear that when it comes to life that I have no idea what I'm doing. I am just going through the motions. It's a sad way to live.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by unhappyguy

It is clear that when it comes to life that I have no idea what I'm doing. I am just going through the motions. It's a sad way to live.

How do we not know this? ie how to do better. We're smart, right? It's like, unless we're fighting for our our lives, struggling AGAINST something, we just go limp.

Originally Posted by hankster

How do we not know this? ie how to do better. We're smart, right? It's like, unless we're fighting for our our lives, struggling AGAINST something, we just go limp.

I have made a lot of effort over the years, to little avail. I have had a lot of bad luck and am hampered by poor social skills. There is so much psychologically wrong with me that even after months or years there has been little to no progress from therapy. Being gay is clearly not for me. I am struggling with c-PTSD from repeated abuse on the job and socially. Lately, I just feel totally defeated and, for the most part, have given up on my life. My problems are incurable.

(((unhappyguy))) ... Don't forget adding staying safe in the hurricane to your to do list for this weekend ... !!!

I often get frustrated with my to do lists and end up shredding them only to make them over and over and over again ... I often wonder at how much I would have gotten accomplished had I just stuck to my initial list ...

,
Pfrog!

ps. Even if you do feel incurable, I just want you to know how much your input here is needed and appreciated ... ...

[Beholden]

It is so good to see you having 'a list of goals' Guy! You sound so positive about all your efforts.

until:

"It is clear that when it comes to life that I have no idea what I'm doing. I am just going through the motions. It's a sad way to live."

Now, where did you decide this - of course you have an idea of what you are doing. YOU made a list of goals. Sometimes just the motions are good enough. Good enough is good. Good enough is way better than giving up. In fact doing good enough, just one little task each day is wonderful.

Goal setting is the area of my life I didn't ever learn as a child. It isn't natural to me, even now at almost 65! But it works. Once you get in the HABIT of writing a reasonable list and a reasonable time frame - you are good to go.

Example. you got your laundry done, ironing done, moved some of the furniture and you are learning Excel. That's a lot! Motivation is hard when you have the whammy of depression or other mental illness. Don't be so hard on yourself Guy.

Heck, as much as I loose motivation to do the boring tasks that are always going to be there, with sleeping most of a day or just sitting watching TV when the dog hair is flying around the living room, or the toilets need a good scrubbing, I get it. But you do have a way to know how to live Dude! You want better that what you have had. That's a good thing as Martha Steward would say.

Please reread your first few posts and see how positive you were. Your goal for me is to be kind to yourself because you have done a good job from where you were.

You express yourself so well on paper (or I guess this is on PC) I still think you need to help your continued recovery by writing your autobio. REALLY.

Hope Sandy didn't get in your way. Thoughts and prayers to you. I still feel some sort of kineship to you, so don't give up on your goal setting. It works.

I have lost my way with my goals. A lot of it had to do with the aftereffects of the hurricane. (I was without electricity, heat and hot water for a week; I am still not able to cook as gas service for the stove will not be restored for about another week.) And, I am feeling depressed. Everyday, I seem to forget what I wanted to do and do something else. I need to stay focused and get off the internet - I am spending too much time on it. I don't know how to change the mindset that my life is hopeless and that I've failed at everything.

[unaluna]

I hear ya. having this indeterminate stroke that is leaving me crosseyed for a year a) makes everything more difficult to do but also b) makes you wonder if anything is worth doing, or is this the beginning of the end. But my T says he has seen people recover from small strokes, so maybe there is hope. maybe this is my life.

Thanks, Hankster. I did not know about your stroke and its after effects. I wish you a full recovery.

I have to spend less time on the internet and I have to make it a priority to file complaints against past employers who have hurt me. I will stop posting here for a few days in order to focus on what I have to do. That will not be easy as PC is my main social outlet. But, it's what I have to do.

I also have other projects that I have been procrastinating on for a long time. I need to get those done too. It's hard to motivate yourself when you hate your life.

i know what you mean, unhappyguy.

with me.. i know i can't live like this (in bed most of the day watching tv) or on here.. or another website

i keep saying i need to change, i need to actually do something productive, but i don't even know what.... it feels like i don't have charge of my own life- not even knowing where i want my own life to take me... how sad.

hankster i hope you recover from the stroke

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by unhappyguy

I have a habit of making lists and then tossing them and getting very little done. Of course, the lists often have more things that I can possibly do in the allotted amount of time. So, here is a list of things for this weekend:

1. Finish and revise letter to SSDI
2. The usual: grocery, laundry, ironing
3. Cleaning (my weak point)
4. Re-arrange furniture
5. Start organizing finances
6. Read self-help books
7. Job hunt

Wish me luck!

Good luck!

I wanted to share that I once had a therapist who started me on list-writing, one way of setting short term goals, although I just realized that!

He also taught me to break down tasks and list them that way. For example, 'clean the bathroom' became 1. scrub the tub, 2. clean commode, 3. clean sink, 4. wash mirror, 5. scoop the litter box, 6. empty the wastebasket, 7. exchange used towels with clean towels, wash the floor.
After I finished each specific task, I crossed it off the list.
The result was a feeling of accomplishment, greater than if I just had written down 'clean the bathroom'.

I still use this method, especially on days I have trouble with motivation. It makes my tasks seem more 'doable' and I get more satisfaction from doing them.

I also try to make my list positive, a list of what I want (and not a criticism of what I don't do, or a scolding of what I 'should' do).