HEY, WHAT'S THIS PLACE?

Always thought about all the $$$ I spent on books and ideas and philosophies on the the words: $"self-help"$, so I have avoided this place like the plague!

I have tried so many things; so many different therapies and drugs, but I still find myself isolated and whole-lot freaked-out about "life" most of the time! I am running out of ideas to help myself along.

What happens in this forum? This is my first time here! (ok, second...I just added a comment on another thread right before this one...)

Altered State

I think some of us are reading DrClay's book on self-help. The book, in it's entirety is online and you can read it by clicking on the name of the book at the bottom of any of his posts.

If you want to find the book (it's online, free, for anyone who would like to read it), here's a link http://www.psychologicalselfhelp.org/ or from the main index page that lists all the forums, the space for the self-help forum also has a link directly to the book.

I wish that I had more time to read the book and to participate here. I think that it would help me a lot if I did. I am way impressed with DrClay's book, and it is just plain amazing that he is here participating on this forum and answering questions and encouraging us along. That is just way cool.

For me, it's a looking at things that work for others and having the hope some might appeal to and work for me. A little easier and more useful than sifting through all the *stuff* one has bought through the years :-) I'm with you there!

Thanks all. I think I will give the book a perusal. So, I guess discussions are random, or rather, whatever comes up for someone in whatever chapter they are reading?

AlteredState01:

I'm a long-term reader of self-help material. I started getting interested in this area in the 1960's and decided it was an area that academic psychology took little interest in. I found some good stuff. But I did and do still agree in general with academics--a lot of stuff in this area is nearly worthless. Some writers think writing a book is the way to fame and money; some think their life story should be read by everyone or their solution will work for everyone. The result is over 2000 new books and many thousands of articles every year! Most of which are ignored by practicing psychologists.

The problem is that very helpful ideas and methods are in a few of the very best self-help books or in the applied and research literature. The ordinary person can't tell what is a good source of self-help information. I see my main contribution to be providing a guide to the best self-help information and methods, as indicated by research and the basic knowledge of how change happens.

When you are buying a self-help book (if you can't find free information or article) look for the source of information the author is making use of--how many books and journal articles are cited? Does the author recommend good readings in this area or does he/she just sell his/her book? Is the author just giving his/her opinion or story? Have they looked for the outcome research and reported it to you in an understandable way?

There are many, many good sources of self-help information. There is sound, useful, well researched methods. There are not sure-fire methods for everyone and for every problem. Google the topic; look up books at Amazon by topic; read for recommendations by experts in the field (rather than buying the book in the area of interest being advertised in the book store ads today.

Come here and share the good material you have find and see if others agree with you. There are gems out there that should be in every school library and classroom.

drclay

DrClay, which books would be on your list of the gems? I do tend to use various self-help books a lot, and when I find a good one I keep mentioning it in various posts, but I forget to bring it here and discuss it. I think that some books are excellent for specific issues or sets of issues.

I am also interested in writing myself. My first idea was to write an autobiography and let people learn from my life experiences. Then I realized that I don't even have the answers yet, so it would be better to write after I have more to offer. Now I am thinking it would be better to fictionalize it so that I don't take too much chance on exposing people in my real life.

There doesn't seem to be much written specifically on the issue that I want to address, although I keep finding more people who have had a similar experience. Do you know of any resources that address children of parents who actively tried to keep their children from growing up? Families like that would be difficult to reach anyway, since the parents are not looking for help or interested in change, and the children (even as adults) usually don't have enough personal power to be actively recruiting help, and if they try they get shut down. Maybe it would be best to try to increase awareness in people who might be in a position to recognize those families, such as teachers and neighbors and the general public. And I then children of families like that also need support to break or loosen the ties and develop confidence to live their own lives.

Patricia Love touches on that a bit in "The Emotional Incest Syndrome" but seems to be more focused on the opposite situation - children who were treated as miniature adults and put in the position of being their parents' confidantes and best friends.

I'm reading a book that has been very helpful: "The New Guide to Rational Living" ( I think I got the title right. Albert Ellis & others).

Thanks, Dr. Clay. I'll be sure to keep these tips in mind.

I must confess, though, I have read some very good books which would be considered self-help, but as always, it is the continual practice of the techniques stated that I generally fail at (like most other people, I imagine).

Altered State

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AlteredState01 said:
but as always, it is the continual practice of the techniques stated that I generally fail at (like most other people, I imagine).

Altered State

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yes it is practice. i agree. but - how much different suff have you read? what kind?

i think that what`s important in self help articles is that they make you start FEELING...even b4 you start thinking!
you have to RELATE to it!
you know... each to his own. we don`t have all exactly the same atitude and understanding . seems like they aretalking all about the same hting but in fifferent words.

i also posted that topics with links:
"self help stuff that works"
and "self reliace"-which i found just WONDERFUL

my favorite books are
"conversations with God" by neal donald walsh
and "tao te ching" by leo tze

I agree "A New Guide To Rational Living" by Albert Ellis is one of the best books on Cognitive Therapy. It is rather intense, IMHO theoretical. An easier more hands-on but just as excellent is David Burns "Feeling Good". (David Burns worked closely with Albert Ellis during the writing of "New Guide To Ration. Liv.")"Feeling Good" is one of the Best books I have. Best of Cognitive Therapy but written on a more personal level, covers many areas of day to day living - it's great - A Real Winner!

Thanks for the link...

Gosh, I've had a whole library of self-help books over the years, and memorized passages from many of them when I was in need. Got rid of all of them when I moved last year, no longer feeling the need! But, MLP...I will look up the suggestion to "feeling good." Sounds like a winner!
Patty