[ginniesky]

hello everyone i don't come to this forum too often because it is hard for me to see my problem in this area .... i have several forms so self injury .... and mostly my reason for self injury is to punish myself for my intense emotions i feel inside and am not allowed to express....atleast up until this point ...i also do it to numb out so i don't feel.... does anyone have any suggestions on how to make yourself feel safe enough to let yourself feel emotions and start the progress to reaching out and letting safe people see those emotions ....any sugestions or coments would be greatly apreciated.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by ginniesky

mostly my reason for self injury is to punish myself for my intense emotions i feel inside and am not allowed to express....

i also do it to numb out so i don't feel....

how to make yourself feel safe enough to let yourself feel emotions and start the progress to reaching out and letting safe people see those emotions ....

Hi Ginniesky, I would think to understand the messages that you have that do not allow you to express yourself.....

[Christina86]

Hello Miss ((((((((((((((Ginniesky)))))))))))))))))))

Good for you for not coming here because it might trigger... self care is important, and that small act is still self-care!!

I have to find "safe places". Lying in bed, it's easier for me to cry than other places. Alone in my bathroom at home is another safe place to cry. Sometimes T's place is safe, sometimes not... that's something most people try to work on, T's office so you can express yourself more there... find ways to make it safer.

It really is hard. I admit it, I still hate crying in front of people. But if you don't, eventually you're going to POP! and that's not good either.

Try it in small ways... find a safe place at home, maybe with a stuffed animal or something else comforting (AND SAFE) nearby. Then, you can bring that stuffed animal/object elsewhere with you after a while, to help make new places more safe...

Me?? When I feel like crying, I put my HUGE purse/bag on my lap and cry into it or hide my head. You know I'm about ready to cry when I do that... it makes me feel safer, it's a barrier between me and other people.

Building trust takes time though... first, try talking to the person you'd like to be "safe". Try not lying to them first. If they cry/express emotions, then sometimes we feel okay letting ourselves do that too!! Otherwise, someone telling you that you are allowed to feel what you feel, and that you are allowed to cry... that can sometimes really help.

[phoenix7]

are you seeing a T - a T could help you feel safe to express your feelings - that is the first step for me - I am still afraid of my feelings and their power cos I shut them down for so many years but T is helping me - I hope you find what works for you.

Chrsitina 86 started a thread with boooks on it - there are also grounding techniques in the ptsd forum at the top and a dbt help sheet forum and dbt thread that has sites that mey help

take care P7

[DoggyBonz]

Originally Posted by ginniesky

hello everyone i don't come to this forum too often because it is hard for me to see my problem in this area .... i have several forms so self injury .... and mostly my reason for self injury is to punish myself for my intense emotions i feel inside and am not allowed to express....atleast up until this point ...i also do it to numb out so i don't feel.... does anyone have any suggestions on how to make yourself feel safe enough to let yourself feel emotions and start the progress to reaching out and letting safe people see those emotions ....any sugestions or coments would be greatly apreciated.

Thank you for taking the time to post about what is going on. I hope that you are giving yourself some credit for being so courageous to share with others and get some suggestions. That is a huge step -
P7 mentioned talking to a therapist if you have one and I think that is a great suggestion. I know that I have extreme panic attacks and what I learned from therapy was that b/c I was not allowed to express my emotions growing up and even now I have a hard time they came out in panic.
You've asked some really great questions, ones that I will be thinking about. Besides starting to express them in my T's office - when the extreme emotions hit I know that I want to SI. I am finding if I can do something active or even call a friend - sometimes it's the baby step of telling them that I just was feeling afraid and moving on from there.

Safe places - there is a specific park where I walk my dogs - When I want to talk sometimes I bring a friend or call them while I am walking.
Creating a safe place in your house that you can go to and journal. Start simple by going there for 5 minutes and then building up.

Post here about the feelings you are having, I think you'll find that others feel that way and that you are not alone which might make it easier. It has for me.

Again, thank you for reminding me about how hard this is and how much courage it takes to be honest about my emotions.

Keep posting - you're doing great!!!

[ginniesky]

thank you all so much for your responses they have been so encouraging sometimes i feel like noone hears me when i post so it was so encouraging to have some responses.... i liked your alls ideas about fiding safe places .... i will work on that and i am in therapy but still have not felt comfortable enough to let emotions show there .... however am now seeing someone that i think might be able to help there.... i have also just started a support group and i hope to gain some support there .... thank you all so much

[phoenix7]

yeah !!! Well done - you sound a lot better