[penna]

there's not really an *average* amount--it varies person to person. there are some who theorize there is an addictive quality to the behavior.

you should probably see a therapist about this (if you're not already seeing one). personally, i think cutting is a coping mechanism so there are reasons you want to do this--your therapist should be able to help you figure out what they are.

it's often difficult to stop this, so don't get discouraged if you try and it doesn't happen quickly.

[mj14]

Ian,

There are different reasons why people cut - but I agree with penna, that it is often a coping mechanism. The problem is, it is a very poor coping mechanism, which rarely helps for more than a short time. Based on the things you have said here, you have a lot of negative feelings toward yourself, and this may be a way for you to release those feelings. But if you are cutting every day, then I think it is important for you to seek out another coping mechanism that is less damaging.

I really think you need therapy...one-on-one contact with a trained professional is the best way to learn a new way to deal with negative feelings. But if you don't feel that you can manage that right now, there are books you can read. One that I would recommend is "Feeling Good" by David Burns. He is known as one of the founders of cognitive therapy, and the book deals with combating that negative self-talk. You can find it in any bookstore in the self-help section, or you can get it on Amazon. Also, you may want to look into books on self-esteem. One that I like is "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay, although it focuses very strongly on affirmations, which are not for everybody.

And of course, keep coming here and talking...hopefully, the support you receive here will help you feel better about yourself, and you can find that the cutting becomes less compelling and you can resist the urge.

*hugs*
mj

Ian........it is so addictive, don't let it get ahold of you. I cut so that I know that I am alive, that even though I feel dead inside I must be alive - obviously since I bleed.

As far as I know, there is no "average" - it depends on how stressed you are. The deeper you go, the more pain you will feel. Don't keep doing it, please. There are other ways of coping other than SI, at least my T is trying to get me to see that.

Post here, focus on this - not cutting, please.

Mary Alice

[Rapunzel]

Ian,

If you can stop now please try. Although sometimes it works for me, it really isn't a good way to deal with things.

One reason why it doesn't hurt is because when you are injured (in any way) the brain releases endorphins, a natural chemical that makes you feel good. That is the body's approach to dealing with any kind of physical pain. If you are also getting relief from emotional pain this way, it might be enough to cancel out the physical pain. But once you start it just tends to keep getting worse. Later on you will regret it if you don't now. Please get some treatment for your depression. You deserve more out of life than this.

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>