[cryingchild]

Ok I have not really talked about the reasons why I drink and I dont know If this is the right place to do so But I just feel so Trapped.

Iive been drinking since I was 15 I would not say Im an alcoholic I just binge drink.Why you are probbably thinking?Too make myself seem real? To deaden the pain of the life Im living now? Its stupid as even though I know Im going to hurt myself when Im drunk I still drink....Its like im nothing without the drink.....

One of my main problems is that when I have had a drink I dont just cut .Here comes the real psycho bit......I go out walk around the streets at night self harm and then call the police or ambulance out to come rescue me?
I feel so afraid to say that as I get rejected as soon as I admit what I do.Trouble is I dont see that Im doing anything wrong? I need help so I call for an ambo?? or the police.Its just cause I panic.I hope none of u reject me.as Ive been called an attention seeker so many times which Im not!!

This is the first time Ive admitted to everyone here On the group whats really going on? Im probbabbly just babberling on I just have to get this out.The police dont come out to me now when I call them and that scares me ,what if there comes a time when I really need them and they dont come?

Im so screwed up but I cant stop doing this.........

Can anyone help me here??

[kvinneakt]

What I get from your message is that you are an attention seeker. The problem is it seems not you, nor anyone else, knows what you need. You just know you desparately need it and doing all you know how to do.

I don't know what to tell you other than keep trying, but find some new places and ways to look for what it is that is eating at you. What you have been doing is not working, as you plainly see.

Work at it from every new angle you can dream up. Discard the failures and don't do the obviously doomed ideas.

You have read it a hundred times here, find a therapist you can work with, if you haven't already. Keep posting here. Sometimes it takes a long time to shake an apple out of the tree.

Bumper sticker: Wherever you go, there you are

[Peanut61]

It's important to feel cared for, and for someone to notice us when we are hurting. I think that you are feeling that you don't have that, and I'm so sorry, {{{{{{Crying}}}}}}, because that place can feel very desparate and alone. Is there no place that you can find a caring therapist or other counselor to help you with some of the underlying issues that are so painful for you? We are here to talk to, also, CC, and we DO care. Your friend, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT </font color=blue>

[Rapunzel]

I'm sorry that you hurt so much. No, I will not reject you for this. Maybe you have taken it farther than I have, but I can still relate to it. I used to go wandering the streets late at night wearing dark colored clothes, wishing for something to happen to me. I just didn't go so far as to actually make something happen or to call anyone, although I did show up on a friend's doorstep at 3:30 a.m. sometimes.

What you are doing is scary because it is putting you in danger, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you, especially and then not be able to get help because emergency responders don't listen to you anymore. Can you find a friend you can be safe with who could help you not to do this? It sounds like drinking is dangerous for you too, and if you can maybe you need to consider quitting. Talk to a doctor or therapist about your drinking, and what happens when you drink, as well as what makes you want to drink. You could be using alcohol to self-medicate, and you could get a better medicine than alcohol.

I'm glad that you felt like you could tell us about this. It must have been very hard for you to do.

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>

[cryingchild]

I am not an attention seeker ........!!!!!

I knew Id be judged I should of kept my mouth shut this time !!!
some things are best kept quiet

[kvinneakt]

Please! I don't mean it in any negative way!

I accept the blame for poor wording.

Did you get past that and read the rest?

I think it fits with your id, cryingchild. You are hollering out for help using whatever means you have. You should have no shame in looking for "attention" or in other words looking for help.

This is not a problem in itself. The problem is that when your struggle is not working you need to find something that does work.


Bumper sticker: Wherever you go, there you are

[Fuzzybear]

Read the whole post, cc!

I happen to agree with Kv. Until you pinpoint the problem(s) how can you expect to solve them???

I'm not rejecting you, but you might reject me for writing this ...

Fuzzy out on a limb

[cryingchild]

Im sorry maybe I over reacted :-( Im not feeling too good about myself right now and Im just tired..Im sorry for flying off on one.What you are all saying is so true and i guess its hard to take it right now.......

[kvinneakt]

I'm sorry too, for the confusion. Hang in there! and here, too.

We're pretty good listeners. You can turn on your communications spigot to full flow and type your heart out.

Bumper sticker: Wherever you go, there you are

[cryingchild]

(((((((((Hugs to all)))))))))

[kvinneakt]

mmmm!!!

Hugs for you, too!!!

Bumper sticker: Wherever you go, there you are

[Fuzzybear]

Hugs are always good ...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{cc & butterfly}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}