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#1
Feb 21, 2010, 11:53 PM
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i don't want to stop cutting myslf at all! my friends make me want to get better but deep down i know that i don't want to. but still i feel like a freak all the time. one of my friends tried to get me help and i broke down crying because i was afraid evryone would find out (he asked a mutual friend) and everyone would know im a freak.
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I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#2
Feb 22, 2010, 09:22 AM
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Are you in therapy?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#3
Feb 22, 2010, 11:28 AM
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I somewhat feel the same way. Maybe if you look far enough down inside, you will see that you actually do want to stop, or at least know that getting help is important? I know that in the moment, and while you are SI-ing, it feels like that is all you want, but when you are with your friends, or when you are doing something else maybe you can realize you do want to stop? Is being scared of people finding out another reason you don't want help? I don't know if this will help at all, but yeah..I hope it does.
__________________
"Though I laugh, and act like a clown, beneath this mask I am wearing a frown." "My humor hides my pain but inside it still remains." "No matter how far I run, I'll never be able to run far enough to get away from the memories you've left me with." "I want to be left alone, but at the same time I don't..." "Depression is like Quicksand. Its easy to fall deeper and hard to pull yourself out." "I'm so lonely. Surrounded by people that know me but don't know a thing." "Its like the world is trying to tell me that it doesn't need me anymore." "Sometimes i look in the mirror and wish i could see nothing" "I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying." "This love, this hate, is burning me away." "I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine for the very last time." |
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#4
Feb 22, 2010, 05:06 PM
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Quote:
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#5
Feb 22, 2010, 05:08 PM
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Quote:
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#6
Feb 22, 2010, 09:23 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"Though I laugh, and act like a clown, beneath this mask I am wearing a frown." "My humor hides my pain but inside it still remains." "No matter how far I run, I'll never be able to run far enough to get away from the memories you've left me with." "I want to be left alone, but at the same time I don't..." "Depression is like Quicksand. Its easy to fall deeper and hard to pull yourself out." "I'm so lonely. Surrounded by people that know me but don't know a thing." "Its like the world is trying to tell me that it doesn't need me anymore." "Sometimes i look in the mirror and wish i could see nothing" "I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying." "This love, this hate, is burning me away." "I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine for the very last time." |
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#7
Feb 22, 2010, 09:30 PM
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Quote:
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#8
Feb 22, 2010, 09:37 PM
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Have you ever looked at SI as the symptom of something deeper?
This is just me when I focued on SI as the problem I sank furhter into it. When I focused on the deeper issues my SI improved dramaticly. Just a thoght. |
 beatlesmarley, KeepHoldingOn
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#9
Feb 22, 2010, 09:47 PM
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i know exactally what causes it, i just can't do anything about it.
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#10
Feb 22, 2010, 11:00 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"Though I laugh, and act like a clown, beneath this mask I am wearing a frown." "My humor hides my pain but inside it still remains." "No matter how far I run, I'll never be able to run far enough to get away from the memories you've left me with." "I want to be left alone, but at the same time I don't..." "Depression is like Quicksand. Its easy to fall deeper and hard to pull yourself out." "I'm so lonely. Surrounded by people that know me but don't know a thing." "Its like the world is trying to tell me that it doesn't need me anymore." "Sometimes i look in the mirror and wish i could see nothing" "I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying." "This love, this hate, is burning me away." "I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine for the very last time." |
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#11
Feb 22, 2010, 11:07 PM
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im really insecure about it, i can't talk about it in person.
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#12
Feb 22, 2010, 11:12 PM
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I see. Yeah, I understand that completely. One thing that I've been told can work is by printing out one of your posts, or typing up your feelings and giving the paper to your therapist. So that you don't need to try to get the words out, and so you don't need to be scared of saying it wrong, or of anything else like being judged.
__________________
"Though I laugh, and act like a clown, beneath this mask I am wearing a frown." "My humor hides my pain but inside it still remains." "No matter how far I run, I'll never be able to run far enough to get away from the memories you've left me with." "I want to be left alone, but at the same time I don't..." "Depression is like Quicksand. Its easy to fall deeper and hard to pull yourself out." "I'm so lonely. Surrounded by people that know me but don't know a thing." "Its like the world is trying to tell me that it doesn't need me anymore." "Sometimes i look in the mirror and wish i could see nothing" "I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying." "This love, this hate, is burning me away." "I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine for the very last time." |
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#13
Feb 22, 2010, 11:18 PM
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my friends are trying to get me to, its my absolute last resort tho
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#14
Feb 23, 2010, 12:27 AM
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I see. Well, I'm sorry and I hope you are able to get help eventually. Good luck.
__________________
"Though I laugh, and act like a clown, beneath this mask I am wearing a frown." "My humor hides my pain but inside it still remains." "No matter how far I run, I'll never be able to run far enough to get away from the memories you've left me with." "I want to be left alone, but at the same time I don't..." "Depression is like Quicksand. Its easy to fall deeper and hard to pull yourself out." "I'm so lonely. Surrounded by people that know me but don't know a thing." "Its like the world is trying to tell me that it doesn't need me anymore." "Sometimes i look in the mirror and wish i could see nothing" "I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying." "This love, this hate, is burning me away." "I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine for the very last time." Last edited by beatlesmarley; Feb 23, 2010 at 02:35 AM. |
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#15
Feb 23, 2010, 01:45 AM
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i was terrified everyone would find out too, and i tried sharing it with my mom hoping she'd help me and nobody else had to know, and she told EVERYONE... people i'm not even related to.
so i turn to my brother. he has come over at 4am to clean me up when i go too far, and he doesn't tell anyone, and he doesn't look at me funny. he just helps. i think everyone that SI's needs somebody like that. i take my meds and i talk to my doctor about if i'm getting better, but during panic attacks only my ex or cutting can calm me down, and all i have now is cutting.
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#16
Feb 23, 2010, 02:27 AM
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Therapists are here to help you and won't judge you at all. Therapists very rarely overreact to what you tell them. Mine had never overreacted to anything I've said no matter how detailed or surprising what I tell her is.
I was terrified to go to see a T for the first time but am getting more comfortable. It won't be natural for you to go talk to someone about your problems but I think it would greatly benefit you if you did talk to someone who is a professional about this. Anything you tell a T is confidential and will not be shared with anyone else. Best wishes! - Liz |
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#17
Feb 23, 2010, 10:46 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#18
Feb 23, 2010, 05:00 PM
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im so sorry that happened. i really hope things will get better for you
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#19
Feb 23, 2010, 05:02 PM
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Quote:
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#20
Feb 23, 2010, 05:05 PM
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i see, that could be helpful but i would have to tell my parents. that terrifies me.
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#21
Feb 23, 2010, 06:03 PM
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Quote:
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#22
Feb 24, 2010, 12:35 PM
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What do you think would happen if you told your parents?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#23
Feb 24, 2010, 04:42 PM
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i have absolutely no idea, and that's what scares me.
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#24
Feb 24, 2010, 04:52 PM
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How do they react to other things?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#25
Feb 24, 2010, 05:58 PM
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they react badly to me all the time. overreacting to little things. it used to be really abusive but its been getting a little better.
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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