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#1
Feb 22, 2010, 02:05 AM
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How is this life. I hate it. I self-injure very regularly and nobody knows. I hate who I am, and what I am. My parents hate me. I can't stop anything and I can't stop bleeding. It just feels good to hurt on the outside when all I feel is pain, darkness, and emptiness on the inside. I'm manic-depressive bipolar. Supposedly I'm supposed to feel happy sometimes. Apparently not. I just can't stop cutting, scratching, biting, burning, and bruising. Sometimes I think, maybe I don't want to. What should I do.?
I don't know if this is the right thing to say here. I'm new. Sorry. |
 BashfullOne
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#2
Feb 22, 2010, 03:49 PM
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Quote:
If that is not an option, do you have a school counselor you could talk to? If you feel like self-harming, please call 911. Here are some other resources: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ http://www.suicide.org/ http://www.hopeline.com/ http://www.suicideforum.com/ You are way beyond only sad. You need help now. Thank you for posting. Please let us know how you are doing. You are a valuable person. Help yourself get better. |
| onlysad
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#3
Feb 22, 2010, 04:12 PM
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Onlysad - Welcome Psych Central. You aren't alone - there are many of us who feel the way you do, but we find peace and acceptance here at PC. Do you have a therapist or a psychiatrist that you see on a regular basis? If you do I hope that you share with them what you just shared with us.
I don't SI, but I've been through everything else that you mentioned. I'm BP II - my meds help to keep me stable - some where in the middle of happy and sad....if that makes any sense to you. Are you on any meds? And if you are are you taking them? Meds have made all the difference in my life. Like I said it's stabelized me mentally. If you don't have a therapist perhaps you could talk with a coulselor, minister, or family doctor about how you are feeling. I hope you keep posting and let me know how your doing! A lot of people here care and will help you to the best of their/our ability. {{{{hug to you}}}}
__________________
BashfullOne  __________________________________ The most important of life's battles is the one we fight daily in the silent chambers of the soul. ~ David O. McKay |
| onlysad
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#4
Feb 22, 2010, 05:29 PM
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I don't want to tell my parents: we have a really bad relationship. As for the counselor... I don't really know if I can trust her. Doesn't she have to tell someone if I say I SI or anything like that? Then everybody would know and find out. I don't know if I want anybody to know. Thanks for the resources. Yeah I guess I do need help. I just don't really know who to trust with telling them this.
Thanks. Yeah. I like PC from what I've seen. Nope. No therapist, I haven't seen her since about 3 months ago. And no, no meds either, the last time I saw my therapist she said that she didn't think it was bad enough for me to need any. That's about when I started SI-ing, so she didn't know about that or anything else. It's all pretty recent. So yeah, no therapist, and I don't go to church either. So I don't know who there even is to talk to. I'll try to keep posting. Thank you both. |
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#5
Feb 22, 2010, 11:13 PM
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__________________
"Though I laugh, and act like a clown, beneath this mask I am wearing a frown." "My humor hides my pain but inside it still remains." "No matter how far I run, I'll never be able to run far enough to get away from the memories you've left me with." "I want to be left alone, but at the same time I don't..." "Depression is like Quicksand. Its easy to fall deeper and hard to pull yourself out." "I'm so lonely. Surrounded by people that know me but don't know a thing." "Its like the world is trying to tell me that it doesn't need me anymore." "Sometimes i look in the mirror and wish i could see nothing" "I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying." "This love, this hate, is burning me away." "I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine for the very last time." |
| onlysad
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#6
Feb 23, 2010, 02:45 AM
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Thanks beatles.
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#7
Feb 23, 2010, 10:49 AM
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Hey OnlySad, so you have a counselor? She isn't a therapist, though? Did your therapist think you were fine because you didn't tell her stuff?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| onlysad, TheByzantine
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#8
Feb 24, 2010, 01:15 AM
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I technically have a counselor at school that I can technically talk to, but I don't really know about if she even knows anything. And yeah. Probably it is because she knows absolutely nothing about any of this.
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#9
Feb 24, 2010, 12:32 PM
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CAn you return to this therapist and be more open with her so that she understands that you need more help?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#10
Feb 24, 2010, 08:26 PM
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Theoretically I guess I could but I don't want her to get mad at me or something, or hospitalize me or something
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#11
Feb 25, 2010, 10:54 AM
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Therapists don't usually get mad at clients. If a client needs help, it is their job to help. People get hospitalized if they are a danger to themselves (suicidal) or a danger to others (homicidal). Will you go see her again?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#12
Feb 25, 2010, 10:58 PM
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I don't know. I know I need to. But I'm too scared to go.
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#13
Feb 25, 2010, 11:45 PM
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Facing problems can be very scary. Avoiding facing problems is scarier. The problems do not go away. They stay there everyday on your mind, festering and often getting worse.
You know you need help. Please get help. You deserve a better life. |
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#14
Feb 26, 2010, 08:38 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#15
Mar 04, 2010, 06:04 AM
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Oh, sweetie, no one is going to get mad at you - but hospitalization may not be a bad thing if it makes you feel better. Please talk to your T... Your in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep posting.
__________________
BashfullOne __________________________________ The most important of life's battles is the one we fight daily in the silent chambers of the soul. ~ David O. McKay |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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