[Forever&Always]

Is self harm really wrong if it's something you want? It's you doing it to yourself. No one else. Plus it makes me feel better. What are ways that you stop yourself from self harming? Or like how do you stop the urges? Like its been 8 days for me and my parents say its wrong but I do it to myself so it shouldn't matter. Right? I don't know Im so confused...

[Mike_J]

Socity tell us it is wrong. Even as an SI addict myself I can't say it's OK.

I think the why you do it is the more important question than what you do.

So why do you SI, do you know?

For me it helps me cope, well it seems to help me cope, but it's really a lie, it just makes things worse in the long run.

This is jsut me, but I tend to see SI as a symptom of a larger problem, if you can work on the core issue than it's likely your SI will take care of it's self.

[puzzclar]

Mike is right about one thing, SI is a part of soemthing larger, some other problem. And knowing the reason why is a helpful thing too.

Is it wrong? For me it is, but at other times you ask me and I would say if it helps then no. But in the end it is wrong.

Your parents say it is wrong form an outsiders view, and to them it is wrong. but Why do you do it? is the better quesiton. Hope this helps.

Mike was right on by saying that SI is a part of something bigger. We need to focus on the issues that cause us to SI, and by dealing with those issues, these urges to SI wouldn't come up nearly as often.

Personally, I think it is wrong. Does that stop me from doing it? Mostly. I have my slip-ups now and again, but I will always think it's wrong. It's damaging the body, and we should be treating our body, mind, and soul kindly, like a temple.

And I think that most of society agrees that SI isn't the right or healthy way to deal with issues. Proper medication, talk therapy & support groups are just some ways that we can improve our lives and focus on whatever problems we're struggling with.

[Forever&Always]

I know why I SI...it's a long story. But I find it hard because I can't talk to my guidance counsellor, my parents refuse to help, and none of my friends help me. So I SI so easily. Like it used to be when I was only really upset but the slightest thing that makes me upset now, I just break down and SI. I guess it is wrong in the sense I'm hurting myself but does it really matter if no one cares to help me? It took so much courage to tell people I SI'd and all I got was it slapped back down in my face.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Always&Forever))))

Thank you for posting and I am sorry you are feeling so bad. I know that sometimes people do not understand and they seem to not care. But they do and they probably just do not know what to say. But truth is it has got to be something that you want to stop no one else can do it for you. You have to want to and it has to come from within.

Other people can want you to stop and they tell you how they feel and they can tell you that it is wrong but it has to be something within yourself that wants to stop it. I do understand and believe me it is not something that is easy to stop. But you have to want to stop it before it can even be possible.

For us, it was something that we did to stop the pain. We somehow was trying to get the pain to go from the inside to the oiutside. Somehow to release the pressure we were feeling. But it was coming from something much deeper within that at the time we were unable to even know existed.

We would try to say that we were not going to do it any more. We would try but inevitably, it would happen again. It was a cycle that seemed to never have an end. The guilt that would come from breaking our promise to ourselves and to others. We would try to hide it so no one would know but truth was we knew.

So the guilt of what we did combined with the pain of the SI itself just became stronger. The pain of the SI would sting or hurt and whenever anything touched it it made me remember again what we had done and I felt bad again, if it ever really left in the first place. Maybe I was just ignoring it but it did not go away.

Then on top of all that the thing that made me SI in the first place was still right there staring me in the face still the same. It had not shrunk or gone away but now it combined forces with the guilt and the pain and I was right where I started with wanting to try to somehow make the pain go away again.

The truth is we have to look at it and face whatever it is that is there to begin with. The only way to get something looked at is to walk through it and face it and deal with it. Only then will it ease up and stop. For so long I did not get that. And still today sometimes it will raise its ugly head and get the best of us.

I know it is hard and it feels as though no one cares but truth is you have to want to beat it. To realize why you do it and to work through those things. Only you can do that. If you want to cut you are getting something from it. It is doing something somewhere for you. For us, it was relieving just a little piece of the pain but in reality it ws creating more in and of itself.

I know this is hard and I am so sorry you are dealing with so much. But I ask you what is it you want? Do you want to stop? Keep asking keep telling. Someone is listening. Please know that we are here for you and we do care. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[Forever&Always]

Reading that just made me cry... I didn't want to SI again and I was trying really hard not to. I feel so stupid. I'm 16 I have my whole life ahead of me and I thought of ending it. Part of me does want all of this to stop. I want to feel like a normal teenager, but part of me doesn't because I like my way of coping. Although cutting is bad, it helps me get through things. I feel so messed up right now... I know theres stuff going on but it's not like I have the worst life out there...

Thanks everyone whos posted...I'm getting more comments here than I do in a week at school or home

[michelle421]

i hear you forever&always.

i have felt things similar to you. but i just wanted to say that there are other ways out there to cope with stress and difficult feelings. you are not stupid, you are hurting... it's not wrong to feel what you feel, but you deserve to feel better! you can! it helps to have support, but you have to make the call to stop hurting yourself... and try to see what works else for you. i know it can be hard. cutting has helped me get through a lot, but so have other healthy ways of coping. try looking through some of the sticky threads on the SI forum, there are some neat suggestions sometimes.

i hope you take care! stay safe, if you can. i'll be sending you some positive energy.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Forever&Always))))

Just wanted to reach out and give you another hug. To say I hear you and I understand. I am sorry you are going through so much right now and I know it can be very difficult to deal with it all and all the feelings that go with it. I hear you and I am here for you if you want to talk.

Hon, you are not stupid. It is how so many try to deal with what is going on. It does not make you stupid or anything but someone who is hurting and is reaching for help. I want you to not compare your situation to anyone else's. For what you are going through is pain for you. Pain is pain and it hurts everyone. Maybe in different degrees but it hurts.

Just because you are not going through the same things that others are going through does not make your situation any less than the next person. If it hurts you then it is something that needs to be heard and listened to. Please know that you are worth it and worth being heard. Please know that I care and I am really sorry you are feeling so bad.

I hope you will keep posting and reaching out here. I am not sure if you have a t or not but I hope that you will maybe find someone to talk to a t, a school councellor, someone you trust and who will listen to you for you deserve to be heard. I wish I had someone who would have listened to me back then.

Please know we are here for you and we care. Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[thine_self_untrue]

Would it be wrong to hurt someone else like that, even if they wanted you to? I think we can all say yes.

Why should it be any different for ourselves?

[El-ahrairah]

Ehhh right / wrong who really knows except the one and only judge, if there is one.

But is isn't something you should feel if you look at it from a evolutionary point of view. If all of man was self destructive instead of constantly looking to survive then we wouldn't of lasted as long as we have ;o

I'm trying to stop SI, I've been SI free for a month and a half already though x3

[(JD)]

How can a symptom be "wrong"? It can't. Self harming behavior is a symptom of something else. It's a coping mechanism, albeit not a good one. Once you resolve the real issue, or find better ways to cope while you work on that other issue, self harm will become less needful, and less effective as well. If you must self harm, do so as safely as possible: self care in the process may seem like an oxymoron, but it's necessary. Generally self harming behavior is not about wanting to die or get really sick, but to feel better.

[TinaL]

In society is is called inappropriate. I have a hard time with people saying its wrong. I will say it is unhealthy for me to do it. But not wrong.

[Irine]

It is just releasing pain usually - but this way of release = getting MORE pain - is recycling the pain in your heart and is addictive.

This is why i consider it to be an inefficient way of coping. it may SEEM like helping - but i can make matters worse.