How/why was/am i doing this?

around the last week of may i started cutting my left wrist with my keys. my keys weren't sharp enough so i now have scars of some kind. but wile i was cutting myself i didn't even know i was doing it.the pain felt good what's wrong with me. now i can't stop thinking of ways to end my life. i though of a new way wile taking a test for school. i even asked a friend to kill me. i feel even worse doing that. and just want to die even more. it's like everything i do just makes it worse.

Hey guy, welcome to PC. Do you have a therapist?

Hey guywithhat, You should try thinking of the good things in your life. There have to be a reason for living. I hope that things work out for you. If you ever need someone, I'm here for you.

there is nothing good in 1 month i'm leaving everyone i ever have come to know because i'm moving 300 miles away. I'm very awkward in public. My parents don't listen and think that anything that disrupts school is unnecessary. if you don't do EXACTLY as they say, they tell me i'm going to end up on the streets homeless when i grow up. i have really bad insomnia. (the list of complaints will go one forever) I can't think of anything good :'(

I'm sorry to hear about all of that. :[ I used to be a cutter myself... It's kind of embarrassing having the scars now. They're not that noticeable but when people do notice them I have no choice but to tell them where they came from...me. Don't give up hope. I may not know the things that you have been through but please don't kill yourself off of temporary problems.

(((( guywithhat ))))

I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. I hope you come to realize that the potential of what could be is whatever you choose to make it. I hope you seek therapy to get the help you need, to find your way.

I can relate to being in the depths of the darkness of depression and not having the energy or the will to take that next breath. My therapist always pushed me to do SOMETHING...ANYTHING that I can find somewhat enjoyable or distracting so that it could help me from sinking deeper into that hole.

Have any of u attempted suicide?

Yes. Sad to say I have. A few too many times for my liking actually...

I planned to die on the day I move but not anymore. Everyone tells me not to do it but I know if they were me they'd be dead already. I don't think my life will get any better its just going to get more worse when it does what do I do then. When everyone leaves you what choice do you have left. I might not kill myself this month but every week I think of 3 new ways to die. Has anyone else felt the same way?

Guy, you really need to get help. You can move past this with therapy and have a life that you deserve.

I can't get therapy

Hi Guywithhat.
I have unfortunately; had thoughts like those before, and I have cut too.
In retrospect I don't quite know exactly yet how I'm going to deal with the scars that people can see, I get good help at P.C. So I can at least fall back here for advise when I need advise. I have found the help and support here.
On thoughts of death, I have had darker days, but I know now what I've always known. that life is beautiful, and a treasure.
I hope you find this helpful.

Why?......

It requires me to go to my parents they will never believe me. If they do believe me they will use religion (which make me more depressed and angry). Plus I don't think there's a therapist who deals with depression in my area, I looked it up.

I've been a cutter for quite a few years now, and in my experience with it I've had problems like this too. It started out as just a few little cuts here and there and then it started escalating. I became more depressed than I already was and started thinking about killing myself. I don't know if there's a link between this or if it was the changes in my environment.

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Moving away from places and people is always a difficult transition. But please just hang in there a little longer. I've found that these moods sometimes pass or ease up for a while. I hope that things get better for you.

If you ever need to talk I'm all ears .

I don't think i can hang on anymore. I'm falling right now but i haven't hit the ground yet

Depression is probably the most common issue that therapists work with. Can you just give it a go? Can you say "mom and dad, I want to go see a therapist because I need some help"?