I want to quit

There I admitted it to my self, I want to quit all the harm that I do, not only to my body but to my mind.

After getting frustrated with an online application, I've learned a few things about myself.
1. I have not been getting better, I've gotten worse. I've kept things in for far to long, and need that release some how. I've kept in how much I can't stand the clashing of T and my beliefs, that it's messed me up even more.
2. Living with a sister is hard when she has had a divorce and it's changed her, she internalizes things, and wont allow herself to have it come out. And if someone speaks up like how her ex did, then be careful, she'll run from the problem.
3. and the most hardest one, I hate who I've become, and I'm not sure who else to be. I used to believe in myself, but I really don't. I'm not even sure I can let myself become a different person. When I need someone, I don't even know who or if someone would come to help me.
Now that I see it on screen, I don't like it at all. I've SI'ed more times in the last week than I have in the past few months. I'm sliding backwards, and falling quick.

Please someone, be there for me. Please

Now I know why I should never have not been on here so much. It helps a lot, must come back more....... at least I'm a bit more happy now.

Puzz, this is really good awareness. I think that it is moving forward. I'm glad that you felt a bit better after posting this. Are you going to talk to your T about these things?

That's another issue.... I think I better change T, since it just seems to be getting worse
So a change in T may be a good idea. And what's worse is the anxiety is high and not to mention all the thoughts. I don't want my meds changed but if this continues, then I'll have to call, even if I don't want to. at least I have work, and a few things to do this week. But I hope that I can stay busy, and distracted but now it's been like 4 times in 4 days. Not sure what else to do to not hurt me, but still.

Why would you change T's? Digging through your issues does make it worse before it gets better. If you change T's for this reason only you are just running away from your issues.

I really hate it when someone else is right. But it's also hard when what I've been told has interfered with my current living arrangements. and has caused a fight, I tried to let out the frustration and it ended up with hurt feelings, and more than an hour to just calm down from it.

And to add to all this, I've got a feeling that something else is off, due to the sleep problems. now it's just getting in there. at the same time, I feel like every time I go in for a Session with T, nothing really gets done. if that even makes sense, please explain

Can you tell your T that you don't think that anything gets accomplished?

You had a disagreement with your sister?