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#1
Sep 11, 2011, 12:39 PM
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I had promised my family long ago that I wouldn't hurt myself anymore, but last night I cut myself. I keep thinking maybe I should feel guilty and regret it, but I just feel resentful and want to blame everyone for "making" me do this. I know it's no ones fault, but I feel like no one is there for me, to comfort and support me, so I did the only thing I know to do and if they have a problem with it, too bad. If no one is going to help me, I'm going to help myself. This is bad thinking, I guess.
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#2
Sep 11, 2011, 01:46 PM
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Hi vintageromance,
sorry that you have been having a hard time. I wonder if you have a T? Some people use SI to manage painful feelings / emotions as in the short term it works, so promising to not to SI is like promising not to take pain killers for a headache - if it is the only thing we have to manage the pain then that is what we will turn to. It takes time to learn other ways to manage our pain, either by reducing our reaction to it or learning less damaging ways to cope. Be kind to yourself, negative self criticisms feed into SI. I know it can be really tough to deal with this - keep safe - Soup
__________________
Soup |
 ShaggyChic_1201, shezbut
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#3
Sep 12, 2011, 09:53 AM
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I would like to add that we don't just have to manage our pain but we can get rid of it by working through what is causing it and how we are dealing with it.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| shezbut, SoupDragon
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#4
Sep 12, 2011, 10:01 AM
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You don't have to feel guilty, but indeed as you say yourself it is not fair to blame others for your SI. You can choose to work on your issues. I understand your frustration that people demand that you stop cutting but don't help you in return, or don't seem to help you at least. I hope you can work on this. You may not care about others, but I hope you still care somehwat about yourself, and you hurt yourself the most with SI. Safe
 if wanted.
__________________
"People are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into the wound to discover what your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin." - Tori Amos Current DX (December 2019): autism spectrum disorder, unspecified personality disorder Current RX (December 2019): Abilify 30mg, Celexa 40mg, Ativan 1mg PRN |
| shezbut
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#5
Sep 12, 2011, 10:05 AM
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Hi VR, I just read a bunch of your posts to understand your situation. Can you learn how to drive so that you can get to a therapist? Sounds like your husband needs to learn to set boundaries with his family.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| shezbut
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