[xrainstormx]

I have have cut for a while now. I really don't see much wrong with it. It helps, or did help. Recently though, I don't get the same feeling I used too. It used to help but now it does affect me the same. That really sacres me because I don't know what the means.

[Rapunzel]

Maybe it means that cutting isn't actually doing anything to change the feelings that make you want to cut. They are still there and need to be dealt with. Maybe it's harder for you to distract yourself from them because you know they are there still, and you need to work through them.

Just a suggestion. This could be healthy.

Rap

[xrainstormx]

That sacres me that I have nothing to help deal with anything!

[Rapunzel]

Are you in therapy? Therapy should help with learning how to deal with those feelings productively and how to cope in ways that are effective for you.

In the mean time, look at the thread (thumbtacked above the others in this forum) on distractions. There are some good coping methods in there. Maybe you will find something that helps you, whether or not you're wanting to hurt yourself at the moment.

[xrainstormx]

No, I am not in therapy. I used to be but I didn't trust the doctor and my parents are really mean people. They would get mad if I wanted to change doctors and I don't have to money to go myself. In like 2 years I will be able to.

[Lexicon78]

A lot of times the feelings you once got from cutting won't be the same. As with any coping method, what once worked will lose it's effectiveness after time.

Cutting used to bring a lot of relief to me, but as you said, it's not the same now. I used to get high off the feeling of cutting and would feel like I was on cloud 9 for 3 days. Now it's not as great as it used to be, but I still use cutting as my main coping method.

I see nothing wrong with it, either.

[xrainstormx]

I don't see anything wrong with it if either, it helps you through the times. I wish that feeling was still there though. It makes it harder to deal with things..

[nothing_inside]

sometimes, i see nothing wrong with it. it's what i do. just like someone may smoke or drink or take drugs. not to say these things aren't harmful, but they are what they are; ways of coping.

other times, i cant get over what i've just done, thinking, why would i do that to myself, why do i choose this behaviour over anything else.

it is very scary when something that should be scary,isn't.

[ickydog2006]

I used to think it wasn't that bad either. Then it started controling my life. I couldn't leave the house without cutting and having my blade. It ruined every relationship I had. I had to cut deeper and do more damage to get the old feeling. I found myself cutting and not realizing it. It is an unhealthy coping mechanism.

I hope cutting doesn't ruin your life like it did mine.

I'm sorry it has lost effectiveness and I ope you learn other coping methods.

[Rapunzel]

I think the biggest problem with any of those coping methods (cutting, substances, addictions of any kind) is that they are a quick fix that doesn't solve the problem. It often makes things worse and then you do more of the coping method, and avoid living your life and dealing with the things that need to be dealt with so that you can be your best self.

[xrainstormx]

If it relieves the pain for the moment, Isn't that better than nothing?

[Rapunzel]

I have to admit, sometimes I think so, like when I just have to pull myself together so I can act functional. But in the long run, it will cause more pain and make things harder to deal with, so honestly it's not worth it. We need to learn to handle stuff more effectively so it gets resolved and doesn't have to keep coming back again.

[Lexicon78]

Rapunzel, just a quick question...why does it cause so much pain for people?

I've been cutting a long time and it no longer causes me any pain, no guilt, no shame...none of what most people feel. I just feel this intense pride and satisfaction.

[Rapunzel]

Good question, Lex. I bet it's not the same for any two people. I think it mostly has to do with not dealing with the issues that make us want to SI. And there's also the way it affects other people, who tend to think we do it in order to make them feel bad, and whether or not that has anything to do with our reasoning, they feel like they have to be careful not to set us off, or they wonder what they did wrong, or they just plain get tired of it and don't want to be around anymore. Rejection hurts.

Sometimes I'm with you though, and don't feel any pain, guilt, or shame either. At least at the time. I'm starting to learn that self-destructiveness of any kind eventually comes back to bite me though.

Rap

[xrainstormx]

It depends, I feel guilty but I don't know why. I feel guilty about everything though.