Feelings of wanting to cut

Lately I have been getting feelings of wanting to cut. Ever since I heard these two girls talking about it and how much they like the feeling of it I just really want to. I was close to doing it before but stopped myself. I don't want to do it. Mostly because I know the scars won't go away and I will regret it later on and it will be really hard to hide.

congrads on stopping yourself from doing it, that can be REALLY hard to do. i also can empathize with you on the feelings that arise when others talk about it. it's really good that you do not want to do it. that is the first step to not doing it anymore or at least rarely doing it. I hope that you will keep up not doing it and preventing yourself from si'ing. do you have someone that you feel comfortable talking about it with? preferable someone that won't trigger you?

Hang in there!

P.S. I love your screen name... it reminds me of my middle school mascot... the dolphin :-)

--Sam

Don't get started. Why do you want to do it?

I do have a couple people I can talk to about it but don't talk to them much anymore and haha thanks about the screen name. I want to do it because from what I have heard it feels better than emotional pain. I actually wanted physical pain rather than emotional before I even heard people saying that. I am just going through a lot right now and it is hurting me so much but I know cutting wont solve anything. It just feels like it will.

Rarely do I get to tell someone this before they cut, read the poem 'before you make that first cut'. I know it's hard to resist, but once you start it only gets harder.

Get as much support as you can and try to problem solve what is going on and vent wherever you can. We can support you here. This is the healthy way.

please try your hardest to not do.... so make sure you don't keep 'things' that can hurt you near you or in your room. believe me it may seem to help in the short term, but in the long term it only causes more problems. you CAN get through this -- even without cutting!

--Sam

Please, please, please don't ever start!!! I am 46 and have been unable to stop for 30 years. Your body is beautiful, don't ruin it with hideous scars. To quote a line from the song Tourniquet by Evanescence "I tried to kill my pain, but only brought more, so much more" It is true. The guilt and shame you feel after you cut is unbelievable. I regret so much the day I started. I would give anything to go back and change it. I used to have a beautiful body. My legs were particularly attractive to the men. Now I dare not wear anything but jeans, even in the summer. Forget swimming.

Do anything and everything you can before you make that first cut. Call every crisis number you can find. Call friends, family, your pastor, your doctor, anybody. Just please don't start down this road because there is no turning back once you do.

Take care and be safe. I will pray very hard for you.

Hugs,
Abi

I don't have any advice to add. I'm lurking because I've never cut but have obsessive thoughts about it all the time. I know I would like it. Its incredibly frustrating even though I've never tried.

Thanks and I did read that poem. It was a really good poem to not want to do it. I don't have many people to talk to about it. That makes it even more harder. I haven't told any of my friends and don't want to tell my therapist because I know she will tell my mom and its kind of hard not to keep things near me that I can cut with because a while ago I was really close to doing it and was going to use my razor in the shower.

Why are you so sure she would tell your mom? Did you ask her what her limits are before breaking confidentiality? You didn't actually carry anything out.

Are you talking to your T about what you are feeling and going through (I'm not asking if you told her about the SI thoughts)?

Sorry I didn't explain about my therapist. I know she has told my mom a lot of things.(saw it in an email and talked to my mom about my therapist telling her things I say in therapy) I am going to see my therapist tomorrow and plan on asking her what she will and will not tell my mom. I am talking to my therapist about what I am going through and feeling to a point. I don't tell her every single detail only because of the issue of her telling my mom things but I defiantly want to talk to her about that.